FicWad

Ally to Chaos formerly known as Chaos's best friend is Kyuubi

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Naruto x Kushina

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Super Naruto


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Author's Note

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ToxicManipulator is allowing me to adopt Chaos's Best Friend is Kyuubi as it seems like he has no more plans to update it. Anyway hope you guys enjoy it. Seeing as I am having problems with my documents and can't edit my pre-existing stories.

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Story Start

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Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

Clack.

Repeat..

Gods above and in the underworld.. what did he ever do to deserve this cruel and unusual torture? It had been the same, day in and day out since that day he was sealed away all those years ago. The shadowed figure glared hatefully at the object of his ire. It was a small toy model of that accursed blonde meat bag that had sealed him in here. The little bastard toy smirked at him from behind the golden bars, as if sensing his ire, and turned around in a one-hundred and eighty degree direction, then continued to march endlessly.

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

Clack.

Repeat.

He growled. When would it end? As if the fact that the animated object dragging a motionless plush nine tailed fox behind it wasn't insulting enough. Stupid blonde human filth! How dare he insult the great Kyuubi-no-kitsune, slayer-of-billions, pleasurer-of-sexy-vixens, and many other hyphenated titles?

He realised, of course that this was probably that jerk shinigami(who was probably in cahoots with Kami-chan)'s fault in the first place. Before, he had his own little island paradise dimension, with many sexy vixens in scantily clad clothing waiting on him, hand and knee.. waiting to fulfil his every wish and desire... WHY did he leave that behind?

Oh right.. he grew bored of that at some point, crazy as that sounds, and listened to the shinigami(the smug bastard)'s suggestion. He was supposed to be seeing new sights, viewing the great many sights of the multiverse, and yet... here he was, stuck, imprisoned behind the bars of that damned seal within a female identity of himself. Damn shinigami! The bastard's sealing abilities always were better than his own. Then again, the old and ancient god had countless many millennia in age over the kitsune god.

Perhaps this was the price for being the only Uzumaki Naruto/Nanako, depending on gender, to kill the original nine tailed fox(using his OWN power, he thought proudly) and taking its power for his own. He should have realised something was going on when Kami-chan got a binding favor out of him. He should have realised how badly he was conned when she put him in a stasis in the human world(Weakening him severely). He only realised the error of owing binding favors to ancient gods and goddesses when that flesh bag Uchiha Madara used his sharingan on his weakened form to control him like he would a pet.

Only now, after being sealed for over twelve years did he have his full powers back. Now if only he could get out of this dump(incinerating that Yondaime toy on the way) and hunt down that punk Uchiha.

He could always ram every square inch of his limitless godlike power right into the seal and hope it might wear out, but that didn't come without its risks. His power was infinite. An absolute unstoppable force. The seal however, was an absolute immovable force. Bad things happen when two powers like that collide, the whole 'for every action, there's a reaction' thing. He sighed. If only it were even remotely possible to breach the seal. Though he didn't want to risk screwing with time and space more than he should, after all, that realm of power belonged solely to that selfrighteous greek prick, Chronos.

Boredom was fairly common when stuck behind an impenetrable seal. So he passed his time viewing the memories of his container on a whim, or viewing the world through the seal. The blonde long haired kit was currently fighting some pale looking paedophile. Ew.. His tongue was almost as long as Shinigami's.

The great kitsune god would forever rue the day he asked the death god why he had such a hideously long tongue. He shivered. The bastard had burnt the memories into his mind on purpose, never to be forgotten! Suffer eternity of torture for your sins by the shinigami, indeed! The kitsune had no doubts that the pale snake-freak would enjoy the shinigami's 'torture'.

He blinked in surprise as five odd seals appeared on his cage. He inspected the seal and rose an eyebrow when he found that he had been completely separated from the kit. Earth.. Fire.. Wind.. Lightning, and.. water? How curious. A feeble attempt to seperate the two beings at best, but still, he could work with this. Silly little flesh bag, did he not realise that NOTHING could stop the power of the great Kyuubi-no-kitsune? (Privately, he ignored the fact that the blonde flesh bag had sealed him in here using a powerful seal of his own creation with the Shinigami's help)

As he studied the seal he noted gleefully that the new seal, that was supposed to 'seal' his power was actually slowly corroding that blonde pig's seal. Oh happy day! His freedom might be granted sooner than he thought! Now if only there was some kind of way to speed up the corrosion? Hmm... The original seal had two power sources, he remembered. One being the kit's own chakra, and the second being the kit's strength of will.

He cackled evilly. This was much too easy. Slowly and expertly he started injecting minute amounts of hopelessness into the kit's psyche. Too much and too quickly at a time and the seal would suspect something, then the little guard toy would bring a chakra construct of that blonde flesh bag here to fix the seal... Easy does it.. Easy~... As he worked, he Idly thanked his lucky stars that he was sealed into a container that wore her heart on her sleeves, and not one of those apathetic Uchiha scum or those indifferent Abarume creeps. Her rampant emotions, which ironically were her greatest strength, would be her downfall. He actually felt sorry for her.

Snort. Yeah, and pigs fly.

The kitsune smirked evilly as he noted that the blonde rat's little toy was slowly falling apart, much like the seal. He almost let out a giggle of victory with his success so close. Just a bit longer.. Damn! Busted! The toy was glaring at him now, and resisting his efforts to corrode the seal. Good thing that pale freak's seal had cut off the seal from the kit's chakra. Otherwise that toy might have gotten enough chakra to summon the blonde flesh bag here. Luckily, it had lost too much chakra with the erosion, and the efforts it was making to block the corruption. It would be a while before he could corrupt the seal further thanks to their stalemate. He decided to wait and see what would happen. He kept on trying to influence the seal, while the evil blonde toy glared at him and pressed back.

Several minutes later, the toy's eyes widened in horror for some reason. The kitsune grinned when he realised what had happened. The evil toy was falling apart now, without the life force of the kit to sustain it. Looks like the kit had died.. or was pretty close to it anyway. He smirked victoriously and ripped apart the remainder of the seal, finally free, and giving a loving embrace to his new freedom.

10 Minutes earlier

'Well, this blows.' were the thoughts of a blonde haired whiskered girl. Her sensei had entered her team into a test, called the 'Chuunin Exams', hoping that they would do well, and advance. Personally, she thought that the event was merely a dick measuring competition for the jounin sensei's. Of course, that view changed when the Sandaime Hokage, or the 'Old geezer' as she had affectionately dubbed him, had explained that it was merely a substitute for war.

The first section of the exam had made her a nervous wreck. Written tests were her greatest fear. The first section just happened to be a written test. Joy.

But, with her great determination, fueled by her love for ramen and the color orange she had persevered and managed to get through the first part with her team.

The second section of the exam was certainly more exciting, if you excluded the giant demonic-like creatures they had to face amongst the other teams. It had quickly gotten rough however, when a creepy girl, or guy, she still wasn't sure, had summoned snakes and beaten the living hell out of her and her team.

She had introduced herself as Orochimaru after having soundly beaten her teammate Sasuke. He had then gone into monologue about how useless and weak the leaf village was, while slapping Sasuke around a bit more just for the hell of it. Sasuke, being the 'genius' that he was surrendered their scroll to the creepy snake girl. In hindsight, maybe it was a bad idea to kick the snake guy in the face and grab the scroll from Sasuke.

The orange clad girl had fought the pale snake girl tooth and nail sending armies upon armies of mass shadow clones only for them to be brutally slaughtered as quickly as they were made. The creep then slammed the whiskered blonde into a tree using his long-ass tongue, finally knocking her out by poking her extremely hardly in the stomach.

She woke up later, seeing Sasuke slapping around some sound genin, with weird tattoo's coming out of the hickey the snake guy had given him on his neck. After some grovelling and pleading by the sound genin, they had gotten their hands on a scroll(at long last!) and headed to the tower to finish up.

The team was annoyed though, when they discovered that they still had to fight a preliminary match before being able to continue to the third part of the exam. So here they were, staring nervously at the board, wanting to find out who they would fight.

The whiskered girl cursed softly when she realised that she was up first.

"Can Akadou Yoroi and Uzumaki Nanako please come down for the first match?"

The blonde girl huffed, glaring at the sickly looking referee. Couldn't they have at least given her a break to recover some chakra?

When she got to the arena, she settled into a brawler-like stance facing her opponent. Her opponent smirked. "What the hell is that supposed to be? The idiot fist?"

Her left eye twitched in anger. "Shut the hell up! I'll kick your ass, bastard!"

The sickly referee, Hayate, coughed once to get their attention and lifted his arm into the air, lowering it to begin the match. "Ready? Begin!"

Nanako charged in headfirst with her right arm reeled back, ready to punch. Yoroi easily countered the weak punch, and gave the brash girl a kick to the face, sending her flying to the floor. The whiskered girl stood up with a growl and put her hands into a cross shaped heal seal, creating a dozen clones of herself. "Kage Bunshin-no-Jutsu!"

"Think you can take all of us?" the lead clone yelled. "Get 'm!" With a warcry all the clones attacked at once. "Rawr!"

Yoroi dodged the small mass of orange almost lazily, dispelling any clones that came too close. He quirked an eyebrow when the loud girl gave another battle cry and sent another force of clones after him. He shrugged. If all the clones were this weak, he might as well take his time with this match and let the silly girl wear herself down to exhaustion.

Any other time it would have been very difficult to outlast Uzumaki Nanako in a fight of chakra, but now, with her severely depleted reserves and being cut off from the Kyuubi sealed within her, and her huge lack of control, losing seemed like a very good possibility.

Nanako stood hunched and panting. She glared weakly at the unphased form of Akadou Yoroi. "D-damnit.. S-stop moving, ya bastard!"

The tall male shrugged and closed the distance between him and the girl and latched onto her arms, mentally activating his bloodline.

The whiskered girl's eyes widened in horror when she started feeling weaker and weaker the longer Yoroi held on. "W-what the hell.. is this?"

The taller male smirked from behind his mask. "This is my bloodline, little girl. It lets me absorb the chakra of my opponents, rendering them weak. And quite frankly, you're on your last legs. Give up and I wont kill you."

Nanako glared weakly at the black clad genin. "B-bastard!"

The orange clad girl dug deep inside herself looking for the strength to beat her opponent. She grit her teeth. "I w-wont lose, d-damnit!"

Unknown to her, her eyes had changed into a feral red with slit pupils. The whisker marks on her cheeks had darkened and her nails had lengthened and sharpened by an inch. Like a dam that had burst, red chakra rolled off of her in waves, filling the air with bloodlust. Yoroi had let go of her by now and jumped away, warily eyeing this new development.

When Nanako settled on the ground on all fours, warning bells started going off in the heads of all the jounin and chunin present. The sandaime made a motion and Kakashi was at his side in an instant. "Hokage-sama?" The silver haired man asked urgently.

The Sandaime let out a resigned sigh and nodded. "You know what to do Kakashi. If it looks like 'It' is escaping, finish it." The silver haired man nodded solemnly and took out a katana from a sealed scroll, getting ready to interfere.

The power rolling off of the blonde haired girl doubled, easily topping Kage-level chakra reserves. She eyed her prey and let out a demonic like growl. "Die..."

With an animalistic roar, she leapt at the black clad boy intending to rip him apart.

SHLICK

She froze in shock, a pained look on her face, and looked down at the bloodied blade sticking out of her chest through her heart.

"I'm sorry, Nanako.." She looked behind her and saw a grim looking Kakashi with a katana run through her. Her eyes filled with tears of betrayal. "T-traitor..."

She coughed up a large glob of blood and fell to the floor with a glazed look in her eyes, her life leaving her.

Kakashi let out a mournful sigh and whispered. "Forgive me, Minato-sensei."

The entire room was so silent that you could hear a needle drop from outside. The Sandaime hokage let out a sigh of his own and stood up. "Let us have a moment of silence for Uzumaki Nanako, for protecting all of Konoha by having stopped a great force of destruction from bringing about our end, by constantly fighting it for the last twelve years."

Everyone bowed their heads solemnly in respect for the recently dead orange clad girl, some not quite sure what she had protected them from. All the girls in the room let silent tears fall, silencing their hiccups, while some of the younger boys shed several tears. They had known the young prankster, and had considered her a friend from days spent in the shinobi academy.

One red headed genin however, had an odd look on his face, staring intently at the dead body of the blonde haired girl. His eyes narrowed in thought. "Something doesn't feel right."

His soft murmur, or more accurately, the tiny fleck of fear in his voice, froze his teammates in fear. What could cause their psychotic brother to possibly feel fear? They eyed the dead body nervously.

Several minutes of silence passed agonizingly slowly. The red headed genin's brother, Kankuro let out a sigh of relief. False alarm.

That's when everyone felt it. A huge force of chakra weighed them all down, easily toppling what the dead orange clad girl had generated. This chakra, demonic and feral in its taint filled the entire room and forest of death in a bathing feeling of terrible blood lust. The Sandaime's eyes, along with all the jounin that had been there when the Kyuubi had been sealed away's eyes widened in fear and horror. This feeling was many times more intense than that night!

On the floor, near Nanako's body a vivid orb of dark foreboding crimson energy was busy gathering. The darker the orb became, the more unbearable the feeling of bloodlust and terror filled the air. Then with a flash of orange light, causing everyone's eyes to close reflexively, the aura of death, terror and bloodlust was gone.

When they reopened their eyes there were varied reactions of awe and fear as they saw a tall imposing figure crouching near Nanako's body. The hunched humanoid figure was clothed in dark blue robes, with orange lining and an orange sash around his waist. Clothed in dark blue pants, he also wore wooden geta sandals with orange socks, giving him an extra nine inches in height. A blue silk cloth was loosely wrapped around his neck and shoulders, with a blue bandana around his forehead, made out of the same material as the scarf, keeping his long blonde hair out of his eyes. His hair spiked at the top in all directions, and straightened to silken locks the longer it hung. It hung to his lower back, bundled up with an orange colored silk bow tie into a loose pony tail.

He stood up from his crouched position on the floor and stood tall with a height of 5'7'', revealing a fish net shirt underneath his robes, and the five inch long claws coming out of each of his fingers. His eyes opened revealing a sharp cerulean and slit pupils with dark crimson coloring the edges of his eyelids. Whiskered marks on his cheeks added to his feral appearance.

What caught the Hokage and the jounins' attention the most, however, was the long blonde furred fox-like ears where human ears would be, and the nine flowing blonde furred tails sprouting from his tailbone.

The imposing figure's nine tails fanned out behind him in a fan like form. He stretched his back and arms causing unnerving cracks, scaring those observing him with each new snap. He tilted his head in several directions, causing more snaps and cracks, and scaring the living hell out of everyone and took three steps forward. Or to be more accurate, he stalked gracefully, as if tracking a prey.

He made several smacking like sounds with his lips, and stared hungrily at everyone, then smirked darkly, causing several of the more weaker chunin's to loose control of their bowels.

Kyuubi cackled inwardly as he calmly observed the collection of flesh sacks. Ah yes... How long has it been since he'd seen that beautiful look of fear adorning their pig-like faces? Too long, he decided. Now that he was finally free, he didn't quite know how to begin causing chaos and disorder.

Hmm... He'd done so much in his very long and eternal life, that he couldn't quite think up interesting ways to bring about terror to these foolish furless apes. There had to be a way to make things interesting... He'd been to so many dimensions where he'd either helped out his human counterpart from training him/her to become the most powerful kage in that world, to helping him/her rule the world as a dictator, to even taking up the mantle as leader of Akatsuki himself and bringing about an end to the world through a red dawn. He'd practically done it all, or at least he thought he did; benefits of being the only Kyuubi in the multiverse powerful enough to jump realities he supposed. His eyes settled thoughtfully on the empty shell of his previous container.

Slowly a fox like grin filled his visage as an idea started forming in his mind. Yes... This girl would amuse him for his stay in this dimension! He would take no active role in this dimension at all. The girl however.. He let out a harsh bark of insane sounding laughter. Several more chunin medics and several genin lost control of their bowels.

One of his tails lifted up the battered form of Uzumaki Nanako and settled her into the air in front of him. His face took on a thoughtful look, wondering whether or not he should alter her body and give her bonuses, like he had in so many other dimensions. He settled for not gifting her. Didn't want to make things TOO easy, did he?

One of his unoccupied tails viciously pierced her chest at where her heart would be. Absently he heard several gasps and exclamations of shock, horror and outrage. He didn't care though and continued his work. The room was filled with a flash of white light, temporarily blinding some of the fools that kept their eyes open. He settled the girl on the floor, extricating his tail from her chest, grinning as the wound closed up and healed at an unnatural speed.

He heard a feminine gasp from the form in front of him. She had been without air for almost ten minutes, so she greedily inhaled as much as her lungs would allow her. Slowly she regained consciousness and sat up groaning, mumbling about noodles and broth. His lips twitched wryly. Was he the only Uzumaki Naruto/Nanako that DIDN'T eat ramen to a fanatic degree? Probably.

When her sapphire blue eyes opened, she stared at him blandly in silence for several seconds. Her mind finally caught up with her as her eyes widened in horror and she pointed at him fearfully. "K-k-k-kyuubi!"

He smirked, preparing to speak when an annoying sound invaded his ears, sounding suspiciously like thousands of birds. The kitsune didn't grunt, nor did he flinch when a lightning covered arm was thrust through his chest. His eyebrow did however twitch once in annoyance as he stared at the offending limb.

He lazily flicked the arm with his pinky, causing it to snap upwards in a ninety degree angle(He grinned in pleasure as he noted the bone piercing the flesh). The kitsune ignored the haunting pain filled scream from the human behind him and gently flicked him with one of his tails. The gentle flick of the tail however, was akin to a fully powered punch given by Tsunade of the sannin. The silver haired pig was sent straight into a wall, leaving several craters in the wall.

Everyone looked on with horrified fascination as the arm sized hole in his chest closed up, regenerating bone and flesh leaving unscarred skin. The blood on his clothing absorbed into his the cloth, closing the hole in his robe and fish net shirt, looking as though he had never been hit.

He grinned ferally, once again unnerving everyone present, their instincts yelling at them to run far away and never return. The kitsune stood in front of the quivering form of the kit he used to be sealed into.

His face morphed into a vulpine grin, cackling inwardly at the chaos his actions were about to bring. He dropped to his knees and settled his forehead and arms on the floor in front of the whiskered blonde girl and bowed submissively.

"Greetings. I live to serve you, my Mistress... I am at your absolute command.. Ask, and I shall obey and grant you your every wish.. desire.." His tone turned suggestive and seductive as he continued, "..and pleasure" he purred.

Everyone present gaped incredulously at the bowing and submissive form of the legendary Kyuubi-no-kitsune. Nanako's face looked comical as she stared at the male bowing before her. "W-wait, what?"

The Kyuubi lifted his forehead from the ground and looked up to stare into Nanako's eyes, conveying his 'sincerity'. "You have suffered a lonely and pitiful life due to my presence within you. My honor demands justice. Therefore, I shall live as your servant and obey your every wish, desire and pleasure, my Mistress. I am yours to command."

The poor blonde haired girl flushed in embarrassment, and waved her arms frantically. "Ah! Stop bowing to me, please! You're embarrassing me! Stand up, stand up!"

The kitsune smirked inwardly. What a curious reaction on the kit's part. "Mistress is much too kind and noble for a lowly servant such as myself. Very well, I shall stop bowing, as is your command."

He stood up, awaiting her next command, intentional or not. This was simply too amusing for him.

The whiskered girl sighed and rubbed her temples soothingly. "Ah, how the hell did I get into this complicated situation.." Her stomach growled. "Nya~! I'm so hungry! I wish I had a hot steaming bowl of miso ramen to help me think." she whined.

The kyuubi smirked lifted his right arm and snapped his fingers once. "As you wish, Mistress." The blonde haired girl blinked incredulously as a steaming bowl of miso ramen popped into existence in her left hand, and a pair of chopsticks in her right. Her eyes widened in awe. "Sugoi! Free ramen, this is so cool!"

Those present had long since regained control of their frozen bodies as the strange events played out. They could only goggle and watch incredulously as the young girl ate enough ramen for ten bowls out of the cup without the contents becoming any less.

BURP

The whiskered girl blushed as everyone's eyes set on her incredulously. She handed the(still full) ramen cup and chop sticks back to the kitsune, and bowed her head in thanks. "Arigato! That was really, really good!" The orange and blue clad kitsune smirked inwardly as he idly vanished the ramen, yet another ramen addict.

The Sandaime Hokage, Sarutobi Hiruzen sweat dropped where he sat. Could this really be the nine tailed fox of legend? Why wasn't he destroying Konoha seeking revenge? The fact that he was grovelling before Nanako said otherwise. And what was this of granting her every wish? He'd reserve his judgement for now. He hadn't assaulted any Konoha shinobi yet... Hmm.. Kakashi didn't really count though. After all, the man DID shove a chidori through the Kyuubi's chest. Who wouldn't be pissed off enough to retaliate? For now, he would observe.

The whiskered girl chewed her lip thoughtfully. Her stomach now full, she was able think about more important things without her hunger weighing on her mind. Like what she was supposed to do now? This was soo strange. It was at times like this, that she wished she had been told stories like that three wishes thing she heard about from a parental figure of her own. She sighed. Who were her parents anyway? The old man always told her he didn't know. Did they abandon her because of the kyuubi or something? Her eyes widened as she got an idea.

Nanako turned to face the Kyuubi. "Ne.. Kyuubi? I don't suppose you can tell me who my parents are?"

Inwardly, Kyuubi was greatly surprised at the unique request. Most people would ask for fortune and fame. Some would ask for immortality, and yet this little girl.. wanted to know who her parents were? She was getting even more curious by the minute, he mused. The fact that answering the question would bring all sorts of chaos from Iwa and interior Konoha proper was a great bonus.

He nodded 'respectfully'. "Very well Mistress. I shall reveal their names to you as per your command. Your mother is.."

"NO! Stop!"

Kyuubi frowned at the old flesh sack that had interrupted him. How dare he? Did he not realise that a superior being was busy speaking? How rude!

A condensed ball of chakra formed on the tip of one of his tails and shot into the old man's crotch. He took great pleasure in the inhuman shriek of pain that came from the meat bag. Ah yes.. just as it should be. He returned his attention to the girl in front of him, ignoring the 'audience'.

"Right.. Anyways, your mother is Uzumaki Kushina, a miniature clone of yourself with red hair.. deceased. And your father is Namikaze Minato, the blonde haired toad bastard.. may he eternally rest in hell with flaming hot pitchforks shoved up his ass." He finished with a growl.

Nanako tilted her head, and scrunched up her nose cutely. "Now I know their names.. But I still don't know anything about them." She pouted and let out a resigned sigh. "I wish they were still alive so that I could find out what they were like."

The kitsune rubbed his chin thoughtfully. He didn't really want to bring that bastard toad licker back to life.. but this could be beneficial. It meant that he'd find out how much the village thought of his daughter, which in turn would make him raise all sorts of hell. Pure blissful chaos! He was starting to like the Kit more and more by the minute!

"Wish granted, Mistress." He replied smoothly, his grin hidden, and snapped his fingers once. With a flash of black and white two figures dropped from the air into the ground. Both the figures let out painful grunts.

"Owww.." A feminine voice whined.

Kyuubi snorted derisively. "Damn. I should have made them drop from a higher altitude."

The kitsune's comment went largely ignored seeing as everyone's eyes were focussed on the two new arrivals. One, a beautiful woman with long silken red hair and emerald eyes dressed in a blue dress, the other, a familiar face right out of history text books. Blonde spiked hair with blue eyes, wearing a white coat, with red flames licking at the bottom. It was undoubtedly the Yondaime Hokage.

The blonde male winced as he stood up. "Hey uh.. Kushina-chan? I think we're in Konoha."

The redhead stood up and gave the large room a once over. She gave the blonde a deadpan look. "No. You think?"

"M-mom?.. Dad?" The two turned and looked at who had spoken. When their eyes landed on the whiskered blonde haired girl, both gawked in surprise. "Nanako-chan?"

Barely a second has passed before Kushina had Nanako in a tight bone crushing hug. "M-mom! A-air, plea-cough-se!"

Minato smiled at the reunion before he finally started taking in the people in the room. The more faces he took in, the more he realised that he had indeed been brought back to life. My god, was that Kakashi in that broken bloodied heap on the floor? Eventually his eyes landed on a figure that made his blood run cold. "You! How the hell did you get out!"

The kitsune rose an eyebrow inwardly. Did this fool not yet realise how hopelessly outclassed he was in his almighty presence? Unlike twelve years ago he wasn't weakened to only one tail of power, right now, he had it ALL! Hah, take that you blonde insect!

Kyuubi scoffed mockingly in response to Minato. "Foolish meat bag! Did you really think your cute little party tricks could contain me forever? HAH! I am the great Kyuubi-no-Kitsune! Slayer-of-Billions! Conqueror-of-Dimensions! Greatest Pirate of the endless infinite bloody seas! One thousand time bowling champion!, and occasional door to door salesman. How can you possibly think to measure against my superior greatness?"

Minato's eyes glinted in a steely expression. "I don't know how the hell you got out, Kyuubi, but I wont let you get destroy Konoha! Kushina, cover me!" He quickly ran through a series of hand seals. Half way through he realised Kushina was still hugging and fussing over Nanako, while the Kyuubi stared boredly at him, waiting for him to finish the annoyingly long chain of seals.

Finally Minato did the last seal and called out the technique. "Shiki Fuin!"

Kyuubi merely raised an eyebrow. Minato started to sweat. Why wasn't the kitsune showing any fear, or reaction for the matter?

Everyone in the room felt a cold chill when the shinigami came into existance. Kyuubi flared his huge chakra reserves for a moment then stopped. Now he, and everyone nearby could see the pale purple makeup wearing monstrosity.

Minato steeled his nerves. He did this once, he could do it again. "Shinigami-sama! I summon you and offer you my soul to seal away the Kyuubi-no-Kitsune!"

The shinigami blinked at Minato, took one hard look at the Kyuubi then gave Minato a deadpan reply. "No."

The yondaime froze, small flecks of fear starting to fill his being. "W-what? What do you mean no? I did the technique correctly, I don't understand!"

The shinigami shrugged, pointing at the kitsune whom was busy lazily cleaning his claws with a hiraishin kunai('When did he steal that?' Minato growled inwardly). "Let me put it into simple words so that your feeble human mind can comprehend it then, Namikaze Minato. I cannot seal away a being that holds power equal to my own."

Minato gaped incredulously at the uncaring death god. "What? That's impossible! You sealed him away before, why can't you do it now?"

Shinigami's purple slit eyes bore into Minato's own, as if piercing his very soul. "I could seal him away before because he was severely weakened. He only had access to a single tail of his power then. Right now he's recovered all tails of his power. Do you understand now?"

The Yondaime fell to his knees in silent horror. The Kyuubi was at its WEAKEST all those years ago? How could he hope to put a stop to its destruction now? For the first time in years Namikaze Minato felt the sinking feeling of weakness. How was he supposed to protect his loved ones?

Kyuubi gave the sulking angsty blonde one look and shrugged, walking past him and up to the shinigami. He lifted his one arm and greeted the death god cordially. "Yo. Shinigami-teme. Haven't seen ya in a while."

Shinigami snorted and let out a chuckle, effectively scaring the living shit out of every human in hearing distance. "Still as disrespectful as ever Kyuubi-no-Kitsune... The boys back in the underworld have been missing you on poker nights, even Chronos, hard as it is to believe.. It's such a pity I had to seal you away all those years ago. You missed out on a lot of fun."

The kitsune's eye twitched in annoyance. "Don't act so familiar with me, you nonchalant asshole! You and Kami-chan are in cahoots with each other, I just know it! You both KNEW this would happen! Hell, you set the damn stage and forced me on it! I'm never giving ANYONE a binding favor again, I just know I'll get screwed over like you two did with me!"

The death god lazily waved his one arm placatingly. "Mah, mah. You need to calm down, Kyuubi-kun. Stress will make your hair grey like mine. Anyways, I'm not really needed here anymore, so I'll be going back now. People's souls to collect and torment for all eternity, you know the business."

Shinigami slowly faded away into darkness, but right before he completely disappeared, his echoing voice spoke to the kitsune once more. "By the way, you used up a favor from myself and Kami each for bringing those two humans back to life. Thought you should know... Oh, and do visit sometime, Kyuubi-kun, Kami has missed having tea and picnics with you."

Kyuubi glared at the slowly dissipating death god. "Then she shouldn't have put me in stasis in the first place." He grumbled grouchily.

The cold aura of death finally disappeared completely, allowing everyone present to breath easily again. The kitsune walked to and crouched near the seated form of Uzumaki Nanako. "Right then. Mistress? I believe theres something you were doing before my release?"

At the whiskered girl's confused look he elaborated by pointing mockingly at Akadou Yoroi. "You were fighting that meat bag to prove your superiority, yes?"

Nanako chuckled sheepishly and nodded, still overwhelmed at the concept of actually having parents, much less a god like deity being her servant. "Yeah. This is all really great and all, but I wish we could finish up here so that I can get to know mom and dad for real."

The feral looking male nodded and snapped his fingers. "Your wish is my command, Mistress."

When everyone in the room blinked again, they noticed that only three people remained in the arena. The two chunin hopeful's and the sickly looking referee. Minato and Kushina now stood amongst the crowd of jounin sensei's and genin looking down into the arena, while Kakashi sat unconscious in a corner, receiving medical attention. The Kyuubi sat comfortably on the railing in front of the Sandaime, swinging his legs lazily.

Hayate looked nervously between the two genin, shrugged once and stepped back. "Uh..cough Begin again..?"

Akadou Yoroi frowned as he eyed his opponent again. Once a weakling, always a weakling, he thought. Master Orochimaru's favorite saying as it were. He decided to take his master's wise words to heart. "I've beaten you once little girl, and I'll do it again."

Nanako laughed stupidly. "Hah! Yeah right. Before, I couldn't do much because that snake freak screwed up my chakra control, but now it's even better than it was before! I'll kick your ass for sure beetle eyes!"

Yoroi scoffed disbelievingly, inwardly crying at the insult. "I don't believe you. Once a weakling, always a weakling. Well, lets get this farce of a fight over with."

The whiskered girl glared heatedly at her opponent. "What? Call me weak will you! I'll make you kiss your own ass, BASTARD! Kage Bunshin-no-Jutsu!"

Yoroi felt a slight sliver of nervousness when roughly a hundred clones were created. Before, she could only make roughly ten to fifteen at a time, but this..? This was just ridiculous(He felt very unnerved when they all cracked their knuckles in eery symmetry). What's worse, was the fact that they seemed to be moving much faster than before. He sobbed inwardly as they charged him much like a raging stampede of bulls.

Hayate sweat dropped as he prodded the broken and bleeding form of Akadou Yoroi. "Um.. Is he cough still alive?"

Nanako shrugged, all one hundred of them. The referee sighed tiredly. "Whatever. Winner coughcough Uzumaki Nanako!"

The whiskered girl grinned cheekily and released all of her clones with a large puff of smoke, then cheerily headed up the stairs.

The sickly looking proctor looked up at the display, going into another fit of coughing. "..coughcough Can Yamanaka cough Ino and coughcough Haruno cough Sakura please come down cough to the cough arena?"

Hayate's blood ran cold when he felt a deadly killing intent wash over him. Looking up he saw the Kyuubi glaring at him, his eyebrow twitching showing his annoyance. "K-k-cough-kyuubi-s-cough-sama?" The pale man stuttered out with several coughs.

The kitsune growled at the man and lifted his arm and pointed at the sickly proctor. "Your coughing is annoying me, insect!" Hayate saw his life flashing before his eyes as a small sphere of white energy shot at him from the tip of the kitsune's finger. When the sphere struck he let out a pained scream as he felt his lungs being crushed and folded several hundred times in the span of a few seconds.

All jounin present prepared to attack the Kyuubi only to stop when Hayate shakily stood up, still living, looking extremely shocked. After several minutes of silence with the proctor going through several varying facial expressions, Hayate, to the shock of everyone, dropped to his knees and bowed to the Kyuubi. "Thank you very much, Kyuubi-sama! You are most gracious to bless a mere mortal such as myself with this gift!"

While everyone gawked at the, now healthy looking proctor, and his lack of sickly sounding coughs, the Kitsune waved his arm lazily. "Enough grovelling, meat bag. Get on with the show already. I'm getting bored."

Hayate blinked at the kitsune's reply, looked behind him at the two frozen forms of Sakura and Ino and nodded curtly. The proctor walked between the two genin's and begun the match. "Second preliminary match, between Yamanaka Ino and Haruno Sakura, begin!"

Kyuubi sighed as he watched the two girls trash talk each other. He had forgotten how utterly pathetic freshly graduated genin were. Back in his home dimension he had killed those two brats along with every other would-be graduate in his academy class. Chunin teacher included. He had been dragged, kicking and screaming, before the council of Konoha where they demanded answers for actions. Being the good scholarly boy he was, he had told the senile bastards how he had read in a bingo book about his hero, Momochi Zabuza, demon of mist, and how he had slaughtered his own graduation class and given the rank of chunin. He then fed them some bullshit story about not having parental figures to tell him wrong from right. The stupid bastards(The Sandaime, his two buttbuddies Danzo and Homura and that whore Koharu) actually swallowed the lie and made him a chunin, much to many clan head's and civilian council- men and women's outrage.

Heh.. good times.

He tilted his head absently, observing how the pinkette pulled on the blonde's hair, while said blonde scratched the pinkette in her face. A fox-like grin appeared on his face. Curious. A cat fight huh? Hmhmhmm. Potential for chaos! Excellent!

With a snap of the Kyuubi's fingers, both genin found themselves struggling to retain their balance in a pit of slippery mud. When Sakura slipped, tripped and fell, dragging Ino on top of her, they both realized that they were clad in nothing but thin bikini's, both in the color orange. Most amusing to the kitsune however, was the fact that they had their lips locked. Yep, he decided, maybe the twelve years of being sealed away could be made up with all the chaos he would cause in this dimension.

Life was great.