FicWad

Ally to Chaos formerly known as Chaos's best friend is Kyuubi

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Naruto x Kushina

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Super Naruto



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Author's Note

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ToxicManipulator is allowing me to adopt Chaos's Best Friend is Kyuubi as it seems like he has no more plans to update it. Anyway hope you guys enjoy it. Seeing as I am having problems with my documents and can't edit my pre-existing stories.

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Links. put an actual dot to be able to see the links. By putting them in the address bar.

Nanako

?qh=§ion=&global=1&q=female+naruto#/dnns57

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Story Start

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-=(Dream)=-

A young whiskered blonde boy sat in a sparsely decorated room riddled with dust, excepting the constantly used bed. The young preteen sat huddled between countless heaps of disorganized and messy scrolls, reading from a little black book. He nibbled daintily on a chocolate chip cookie. One of 'his' favorites. The blonde's locks of hair sat in all directions, looking very much like a bird's nest. He was clothed in an oversized navy blue short sleeved shirt and oversized knee length black shorts, the clothes belonged to 'him', much like the room itself did. A crescent white and red fan was sewed into the back of the shirt. The symbol of the Uchiha clan.

The boy was currently studying a page in the little book he held with great focus. On the top of the page it read, Momochi Zabuza - A Rank - Mist. His eyes shone with intense interest as he read and reread the missing nin's page. One line in particular amongst the page of text stood out most to him however. He murmured as he read it. "...Only known mist shinobi to graduate directly from the academy and become a Chunin?... Hmm.."

Naruto tapped his chin thoughtfully as his mind went over the information he just read. It would certainly be handy being a chunin ranked nin. Granted, he wasn't exactly chunin material, but, being a chunin had advantages. Like being able to get into the shinobi library! All those precious thousands of killing techniques to be learned. He drooled at the thought, then groaned when he realized he had a little tent in his pants.

Damn it, that was the third time this week! He prayed that he didn't have to see a shrink just because he got throbbing hard-on's just by thinking of killing. The boy could only hope it was something normal amongst shinobi.(Somewhere in the forest of death, MitIrashi Anko sneezed, stopped for a moment and shrugged, continuing to torture a hapless civilian that had in her own words, 'undressed me with his perverted eyes!'). He sighed and returned his thoughts to a more safe subject. Another bonus to being Chunin, was the fact that you get paid for doing practically nothing. Sure, you had to stand around and look pretty on gate guarding duty, or sit around all day sorting files in an administrative position, but still! Free money to look pretty? Hell yeah!

The blonde wasn't an idiot by any stretch of the imagination, no. He just had his own survival in mind most of the time. Stupid bastard villagers and their pointy objects! 'Just wait, you no good goat fuckers...one day I'll be top dog and make all of you bow and eat each other before me!', he thought viciously. He didn't realize, that at the time he was doubled over and laughing hysterically and drooling, muttering the words 'diediedie!' repeatedly.

As he got a hold over himself, the blonde took out a small photo from his pocket. "Ne, ne, you think it's a good idea Itachi-sensei? Killing everyone in my class that is?" The picture of a bloodied Uchiha Itachi with several dead bodies littering the ground around him remained silent. "Yeah! You're right! Being Chunin earlier WOULD be a huge help! How should I do it though?" Unsurprisingly, the picture remained unchanged. "Use what works huh? Yeah, Zabuza-san was pretty crafty, killing them all using that silent killing technique. Can you teach it to me, Itachi-sensei?" Itachi seemed to glare at the boy from the photo. "sigh Yeah, I guess you're right. I'll 'make do' with what I got. Thanks sensei!" He put the photo away.

Rubbing his chin thoughtfully, the young blonde considered how to go about disabling a class full of people's vision without knowing the hidden mist technique. His eyes landed on a scroll titled 'The idiot's guide to making homemade teargas - by Eidara Dey'. Slowly a malicious grin crept onto his face.

Naruto studied the room full of academy students and one Chunin. His own class. Damned weaklings. Just look at 'em smile like the idiots they are. The teacher, his name was Mizuki or something similar, was going to teach them how to use the replacement technique today. Fortunately, for the blonde, the room had no windows due to past accidents of logs having broken them. Nice. Only one escape. Perfect. Nowhere to run, since he just locked the door. Kukuku. The whiny little bastards wouldn't know what hit 'em.

The bonde slowly and inconspicuously lowered his goggles and covered his eyes, then took out a long cloth from his backpack and covered his nose and mouth with it. That done, he inched a good distance away from the crowd. Ever so slowly, he pulled out a box filled to the brim with his class' soon to be demise. Grinning savagely, he threw all the jars, breaking them between the crowd, smirking viciously when everyone started coughing, itching and rubbing their burning eyes and skin, sounding distressed.

Naruto quickly flipped the switch for the lights, leaving everyone but him in darkness. He didn't know why, but for some reason he could see in the dark. His pupils became slit whenever it was dark. Hmm...weird. Must be a bloodline he mused. Oh well, more important things to be done right now.

Fumbling with his backpack, the young boy pulled out a megaphone and turned it on. His eery whisper filled the room full of nervous, scared and weeping crybabies.

"Eight points for death... Larynx, spine, lungs, liver, jugular, subclavian artery, kidneys, heart. So many choices to choose from...giggle... I just LOVE multiple choice!"

-=(End Dream)=-

The world slowly came into focus for the kitsune as he made several smacking sounds with his lips and yawned widely, showing his fangs to the world. "Heh. What a good dream."

"You're kidding, right?" A deadpan voice spoke.

Looking up, he saw Kushina frowning down at him. He raised an eyebrow. "About having one of my old time favorite dreams? Nope. Not at all."

He sat up from the couch and stretched, lazily eyeing the frowning redhead that stood with her arms crossed. "Like what you see?" He quipped, grinning slyly. He had slept without his robe or fishnet shirt on.

Kushina eyed his rippling muscles, then averted her eyes and forced down the tint of pink she felt on her cheeks. "I've seen better." she muttered.

A lie. The kitsune could smell as much. He lay back on the couch, resting his hands behind his head and flexing his arms pointedly. "You sure about that? I could always reveal more skin..." one of his tails snaked up her legs and playfully groped her left cheek. Kushina jumped away from his probing tail with a squeak. The kitsune snickered.

A growl caught his attention. He watched amused as she tried to glower a hole through his head. He winked. She flipped him the bird and grumbled at him. "Keep your tails to yourself, Ero-Kitsune."

Naruto pouted playfully and tried(while failing) to look innocent. "That might be a problem. You see...they have a mind of their own, and are especially restless around cute blushing girls. The fact that you have cute pert buttocks aren't helping."

Kushina scowled at the kitsune. "I'm not a little girl, Ero-Kitsune. I think that would be obvious given the facts. And for the love of Kami-sama, leave my ass alone!" The blonde huffed, and rolled his eyes. "One, yes, you are a little girl. Gods, compared to my age, you are a young kitling still learning to walk. And two, I'll have you know I'm a prude compared to most other kitsune. Seriously. You DON'T want to see how perverted the average kitsune is."

The redhead rose an eyebrow, amused, then snickered. "Let me get this straight, you're a pervert, AND a pedophile? And you have the gall to act all high and mighty around humans? snort Oh yeah, I see why you're so respected." she finished sarcastically.

Naruto huffed childishly, pouting at the redhead. "Hey, I'll have you know that love comes in all sorts of shapes, forms and sizes. Age difference is just a silly concept you humans came up with. Would you discriminate against a loving relationship between a couple, one being aged two thousand, and the other ten millennia?"

Kushina sweat dropped. How the hell did an immortal incarnation of terror and evil look so cute and innocent pouting? She shook her viciously to clear her thoughts. "Uh.. Don't you feel like a dirty old lecher flirting with women not even a fraction of your own age?"

The kitsune scoffed indignantly. "Sweety, do I LOOK old to you?" The young woman looked at his rock hard muscles and young looking physique and turned away as if burning. "Gah! Stop that, Ero-Kitsune!"

"Fine, fine. No need to yell. Now, was there any reason I woke up to you ogling me?"

Kushina scowled at him. "I wasn't ogling, and no. I am a bit disturbed from what I heard you mutter in that so called 'good dream' of yours. I'm not sure I want a murderous psychopath anywhere near my daughter, let alone in my home. As is stands however, you hijacked the couch. Why are you even here? Can't you just disappear until Nanako-chan needs you or something?"

Naruto frowned, and shook his head. "No. I don't trust her alone. I'm not exactly living inside her to keep an eye on her anymore, so I'll stick as close as I can. Do you have any idea how many dicks I had to incinerate that attempted to defile the kit?"

The redhead went silent, and shuddered unwillingly as she recalled some of the past that the Kitsune had recounted to her and Minato. "You're right...I'm sorry, I guess. Thank you for looking after her when no one else would."

The kitsune looked away and murmured a response. "Sure, whatever." He shook his head, clearing it of depressing thoughts and grinned brightly at the young woman. "Anyways! You wanted to know about my sweet dreamy dream right? It was actually more of a memory from when I was a human, than a dream."

Kushina's eyes widened in surprise. "Wait, wait, wait. You mean you were actually HUMAN at some point in your life? The same race you keep bad mouthing, leering at, eyeing like fresh steaks, and generally being an all around asshole to, human race?"

Naruto huffed sulkily. "It's not THAT hard to believe." A snort answered him. "Indulge me then, Oh mighty Kyuubi-no-Kitsune!"

The blonde frowned. Damn sarcastic wench, make fun of him will she? Unbidden, a vulpine-like smirk graced his features. She'd rue the day!

He smiled brightly at the redhead. She didn't notice the glint of mischief in his closed eyes. "Alright. I'll oblige you, Ku-shi-na-chan~!" She blinked, then frowned. "Hey wait a minu-" She yelped in surprise when two of his tails curled around her and deposited her on his lap. A third tail wrapped snuggly around her midriff, while the first two secured around her legs, a fourth settled around her shoulders and pulled her flush against the kitsune.

Kushina attempted to push herself away from the kistune but couldn't budge. She flushed scarlet when she realized her hands were settled on his chest. "Gah! Let go of me Ero-Kitsune!" She didn't risk stabbing him, Kami knows, it would be like cutting into a rubber ball. He wouldn't get hurt either way, and she'd just end up with blood on her couch(She liked that couch, damn it!). She shivered when she felt him breathing near her ear, and bit back a moan as one calloused hand settled on the small of her back the other on her thigh. Damn Minato for holding back on her last night! She wouldn't be this flustered if the blonde bastard hadn't come home late and fell asleep.

"Comfy?" She blushed as he murmured to her. "If you try anything perverted I'll stab you in the balls, Ero-Kitsune." A snicker answered her.

"Alright. Lets begin. Once upon a time, there was a young blonde haired boy!('That's me by the way!' painful nudge 'No shit sherlock, get on with it!') Right, well this young blonde haired little boy was born into a ninja village('There were ninjas and ninja village's thousands of years ago?' nose flick painful yelp 'Don't interrupt.'), and he was a very happy little boy! But that changed several days after his birth,('Oooh, suspense.' poke 'No sarcasm either.'), for you see, his dear loving mother was assassinated by a one eyed, crippled, cock sucking, warmongering(painful nudge 'I think I get it, carry on.'), bastard."

"Of course not all was lost, the boy still had his dear loving father! But the boy would later learn in his life that looking at the bright side of things was just asking for that 'benevolent' bitch called fate to fuck things up for him. And so, his so called loving father, the toad licking bastard that he was, decided in his grief to put the blame for his wive's death on the poor innocent boy, by damning the boy, and dying a martyr. ('You're shitting me. The words 'you' and 'Innocent' don't go well together.' forehead flick pout 'Stop interrupting damn it!'). He did this by sealing one big ugly ass mother fucker, or a demon as they were known to the kindly villagers in those days, into his own son. His last request before he died was for it to be known to all in his village that his son housed the demon that had ruined countless thousand's of lives, and killed many fold more."

"So, as you may surmise, when the kindly villagers found out what had happened, they underwent a transformation. They transformed from the kindly, innocent and good-natured villagers, into flesh eating, happiness stealing, soul sucking vermin.('Hey, is that why you're always calling people meat bag's and flesh sack's?' glare eep 'No talking, gotcha.') And thus, the poor parentless lonely boy grew up amongst those vermin. Not a day passed easily for the poor boy's first ten years of life, forcing him to grow up before his time, to adapt, and survive. But, life was not totally unforgiving for our young blonde haired hero,('Wait, you think YOU'RE a hero?' snort nose flick 'Fine, I'll shut up.'), for he had made a friend. We'll call this friend of his red, because he had red eyes.('How original.' glare nervous laughter 'Sorry.')"

"The young blonde protagonist's friend red saw the unjust treatment of the boy, and decided in a rare act of kindness (for his clan was full of a bunch of pricks with mile long poles shoved up their asses) to help the boy. He taught the boy how to read, and how to write. He taught the boy how to turn any situation to his own advantage. He also taught the boy advanced philosophy. But most importantly of all, he taught the boy how to solve his problems once and for all. He taught him how to kill mercilessly and without bias those whom wronged him, and how not to get caught.('Aha! So being a psychopath IS contagious!' spank sputter 'Y-you spanked me!' 'Shut up and listen.')"

"Unfortunately for the poor blonde boy, this would not last. Alas, his dear friend and teacher red-sensei had to leave the village permanently shortly after his clan's demise. For you see, it was against the laws of the village to murder your own clan, even IF they are a bunch of useless pink-eyed bastards.('I thought you insinuated their eye color was red?' 'Noway! Red-sensei's eyes were the color of real blood! It made him look so sexy and cool whenever he would glare with them. His clan's eyes were stupid looking anyway.' shudder 'I'll just ignore you said that' 'good idea.') And thus, left without his wonderful sensei to further tutor him, the poor boy could not bare the thought of not being without his amazing sensei. So he broke into his red-sensei's abandoned home, and made his dust riddled room his own. The boy was not satisfied merely with this, so he sought out a most useful relic in the likeness of his departed sensei, and prayed to it whenever he would need advice. And answer the relic did, for that is what relic's do.('Eh.. you TALKED to a PHOTO?' shrugs sheepishly 'It was only for a while, I grew out of it after some time. I'm told all young kids have imaginary friends' dubious stare 'No, really!')"

"And so, the young boy's days passed in silent meditation and prayer, trying to think up ways to help better his own terrible situation. One day though, at the age of ten, the now wise young boy, while going through his sensei's many books and scrolls that were left behind, he found an interesting little book. This book instructed the young boy on how to immediately get recognition, and training for his talents. And so, the young boy did create many a teargas bomb.('Teargas? Seriously?' sigh 'Oh come on, I was under the impression you did something otherwordly, like making a deal with the devil or something.' blank stare sheepish smile 'sorry. please continue.') The boy was anything but impatient though, so he waited for many a month until finally an opportunity presented itself. Using this opportunity, he bathed his foolish fellow scholars of the art of the ninja, in teargas. Their 'supposed' master, whom was supposed to teach them to be ninjaish('Ninjaish?' snicker pout 'Oh come on. It's a cool word.' giggle 'Ninjaish?' '...shut up'). Right, their supposed 'master' also fell prey to the deadly teargas. (disbelieving gaze '...what?' 'I hardly think teargas counts as deadly.' 'Hush, will you?')"

"And thus, with his fellow scholars and master bathed in the deadly teargas, did he remove light from from the dojo by destroying the lights, for the dojo had no windows, and he had locked the door when noone was looking. It was then, with the stage set and the actors out, that the young boy brought out his most holy relic for the occasion. The sound bringer! ('The what?' rolls eyes 'A megaphone Ku-shi-na-chan, a megaphone.' snicker ' So, "The sound bringer" huh?' sigh) With the sound bringer, the boy did utter an unholy verse to his would be victims, scaring the hell out of those poor bastards. He then slowly and systematically killed everyone in the trapped and dark environment, for he had a blessing of sight in the darkness. It was then, that the leader of The-village-filled-to-the-brim-with-vermin came upon the scene. And horrified he was, for you see, the leader had an odd unusual attraction to the boy. The young boy suspected that the old leader was in fact a child lover, only later did he discover that the old leader saw the boy as his own grandson. Why the old bastard only told him after ten years of suffering, the boy did not know, for he only cared to advance in ranks and become stronger with the blessing of the leader. And blessed he was, after much arguing with the village scrooges who helped lead the village, did the boy get granted the title of journeyman, and allowed to learn more advanced technique. And the boy did live happily ever after, finally being allowed to learn the many thousands of killing techniques available to journeymen ninja's."

Kushina gave the kitsune a disbelieving look. The blonde rose an eyebrow. "What?"

The redhead rolled her eyes. "What exactly did that story have to do with your 'happy dream?'" Naruto grinned roguishly. "Isn't it obvious? I was dreaming of the day I killed my class of fellow would be graduates and got promoted for it. Of course, the clan heads whose children I killed were pretty pissed off at me. Too bad for them they couldn't do anything unless they wanted to be tried for treason. Ah, good times, good times."

Kushina nodded, slightly creeped out at the happy grin on his face and the vacant look in his eyes. She mentally filed away the fact that he was a Jinchuriki at some point in his life too. "Great. Story time is over, can you let go of me now?" Naruto tilted his head to the side. "I dunno, you seem pretty comfortable in my opinion." At Kushina's questioning glance, the blonde nodded towards her hands that were stroking the tails wrapped around her legs. She blushed crimson.

"What's going on here?" The cool voice spoke up from behind the blonde and redhead. Kushina yelped in surprise, while Naruto lazily turned and looked into the unamused face of one pissed looking Yondaime Hokage in pajama's. "Yo. I was just telling Ku-shi-na-chan here about how I used to be a piece of human filth like you, meat bag."

Minato scowled at his cordial tone of voice. "Could you PLEASE stop calling people that derogatory term? The council is pissed off enough as it is thanks to you calling them, what was it.. ah, 'goat fucking meat bags'.. was it?" At Naruto's cheerful nod, Minato frowned thoughtfully. "Wait a minute...what do you mean by you used to be human?"

Naruto blinked, picked Minato up by the scruff of his neck with a tail and deposited the man, who let out a grunt, on the coffee table infront of him. "You don't seriously think I was just born the Kyuubi-no-Kitsune, do you? I mean, sure, I was probably the most sexy and handsomest of human filth back then, but do you really think the God's just hand out power without you having earned it?"

At Minato's deadpan look the blonde sighed. "Bakayaro! Fact- I was a human several hundred millennia ago. Fact- I became a kitsune. Fact- There's no way, even under torture of Shinigami-teme that I'd ever reveal how I did as such." Without further ado, he stuck out his tongue and blew the Yondaime a raspberry.

Minato felt his eyebrow twitch, and a headache coming. "So, what you mean to say is, that all the Bijuu were human at some point in their lives." Naruto smiled brightly, and answered in a polite and civil manner. "No, stupid meat bag."

The Yondaime let out a frustrated growl. "Bah! What the hell? You just said that you used to be human-" "You didn't let me finish, furless ape. The Bijuu are the eight incarnations representing the sin of humanity as a whole. Each has its own sin."

Minato blinked, then frowned. "Wait a minute, I thought there were only seven deadly sins?" Naruto grinned cheerily. "A common misconception. It's actually eight deadly sins." He said, lying through his teeth. The Yondaime nodded thoughtfully. "Alright... What sins do they each represent then?"

Inwardly, Naruto gaped disbelievingly at the Yondaime. The idiot actually bought it? Wow, the intelligence of humanity at its best, he mused.

"Alright, try to pay attention meat bag. I know it is beyond your mortal capabilities, but even a bug like you should remember this. The eight sins are gluttony, lust, envy, pride, sloth, avarice, wrath and sorrow. In order, one through eight, I'll speak slowly so that you may comprehend which sins represent which demon."

"The Ichibi-no-Tanuki represents gluttony. The Nibi-no-Nekomata respresents lust. Sanbi-no-Umibouzu, envy. Yonbi-no-Satori, avarice. Gobi-no-Uma-kujira, pride. Rokubi-no-Sazae-oni, sloth. Shichibi-no-Kamikirimushi, wrath. And finally, the Hachibi-no-Ushi-oni houses sorrow."

Minato nodded, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "Okay. So where does that put you, Kyuubi?" Naruto snickered, pulling Kushina closer to him, earning an indignant squeak and a blush from her, and a frosty glare from the Yondaime. "Nowhere! I'm not a demon, they are! Get it? Hahahaha!"

The Yondaime scowled at the kitsune. Despite having lived with the Kyuubi for several days now, he still wasn't used to his chaotic behaviour. He would have thrown the mooching bastard out long ago if it wasn't for his daughter insisting he stay, lest she go live in her apartment. He'd seen the condition of her apartment. Which was why the Kyuubi was presently hogging Kushina's favorite couch. Frankly, he didn't know WHY she liked the ratty thing. It felt lumpy to him. It didn't help matters either with the fact that the council of Konoha wanted him to retake his seat as Hokage, and were demanding he 'vanquish' the 'baby eating demon'. But, he knew he had to integrate the damn fox into Konoha SOMEHOW. After all, he didn't want to call the kitsune's bluff whether or not he could incinerate all of Konoha with a snap of his fingers.

Minato didn't quite know HOW to go about integrating the Kyuubi into Konoha though, that was the problem. And so, like he would in any similar situation, he decided to go with the first thing that came to mind. "You're going to give a public speech to all of Konoha later."

Silence

Naruto blinked. Kushina blinked. They looked at each other, blinked once again. Then stared at Minato, giving him a look that clearly conveyed the message, 'What the hell are you thinking, dumbass?'

The yondaime sighed, rubbing his already aching forehead. "Alright, I know it may sound stupid, but bear with me. Sooner or later everyone in Konoha is going to know that you aren't sealed away anymore. That will eventually lead to either a civil war, riots and all sorts of other annoying things I don't want to deal with. Nor the mountains of paperwork I'd need to fill out for said events for that matter." He grinned eerily at the kitsune. "That's where you come in. I'm going to tell everyone, all of Konoha, that it was Madara that screwed you over and that you aren't really to blame. THEN I'll tell them about the seal failing because they did psychological damage to my daughter, yes, I'm revealing that little tidbit too. Give the bastards something to sweat about. I'll introduce you to Konoha, and you're going to tell everyone a bit about yourself, and we'll all live happily ever after. Got it?"

Naruto bit his lip, and thought for a moment before nodding. "Sure. I get your wife though."

Minato nodded happily. "Great, I'm glad yo- WHAT?"

The kitsune snickered, pulling Kushina flush against his chest and wrapping his arms around her, ignoring her mewl of protest. "Aw come on, meat bag. You're the Hokage. Nobility, or some stupid shit like that. You get to practise polygamy as a perk. You only married Ku-shi-na-chan here because of a political marriage to gain Uzu-no-Kuni as an ally, I'm not stupid. I think I remember turning that entire country to an ashy ruin while Madara controlled me. So you don't really have any reason to stay married to her. Come on, I promise I'll take real good care of her! Pretty please?" He finished, eyeing Minato with a kicked puppy look.

The Hokage frowned. True, he didn't really marry Kushina out of love. Both of them had done so out of duty to their countries, knowing it would probably be a loveless marriage. Sure the sex was great every once in a while, but neither really cared 'that' way for the other. He had hoped that they might get closer after having a child, but then the whole Kyuubi fiasco happened. And then they were brought back to life. Kushina was NOT amused to learn what kind of life he forced their child to live. His balls still had ached with ghost pains whenever he saw her.

Minato was still rather young for a kage. Officially, now that he wasn't marked as 'deceased' anymore, he was aged thirty-nine. In reality, he looked in his early twenties, he was twenty-six when he 'died'. In his perverted sensei, Jiraiya's own words, he was still young in the dating game'. Which meant that he still had good opportunity to actually find a woman that he could genuinely love. "He brings up a good point, you know, Kushina-chan?"

Kushina blinked, and nodded thoughtfully. "Indeed. I never really liked you like that anyway. You're more like an annoying overprotective brother to me, really." Minato smiled in response. "Great. And I've thought of you as a bratty little sister. This idea might have some merit!" Kushina responded by kicking him in the chin and sending him toppling over the coffee table.

"...Uwah?" He groaned as he sat up on the floor, groaning in slight pain. He saw the redhead glaring at him, her eyebrow twitching sporadically. "Bakayaro! I'm not an object! A divorce is fine and dandy, but I'm not some payment to Ero-Kitsune just so you can have peace!"

She slammed the back of her head into Naruto's nose, causing it to audibly break, grunting in pain. Several seconds passed and she heard a telltale snap of his nose healing itself. "Mah, that's not very nice Ku-shi-na-chan! You got some of my blood in your hair now."

Kushina's eyes widened when the kitsune informed her. "Nya~! I've got Ero-Kitsune blood on me! Ew, ew, ew! Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!" She started rapidly wiggling on his lap in an attempt to be free from her confinement.

Naruto rolled his eyes and snapped his fingers once. "There, it's gone. Now will you stop acting like a baby, Ku-shi-na-chan?"

The redhead growled. "And that's another thing! Why do you keep calling me in that annoying way? It's Kushina! No pauses between syllables! Let go of me , you pervy asshole!"

The kitsune huffed, feeling slightly annoyed. "Do I have to spank you, to get you to settle down?"

The lack of wiggling and movement from the woman on his lap answered him. "Good." He purred huskily into her ear, delighting in the shiver that ran up her spine. One of the two hands settled on her midriff move to her right thigh and softly caressed her. "You'll behave, wont you?" An almost inaudible moan was the response he got.

Minato looked slightly nervous as he eyed the two. "Um... She's right about the whole not being an object thing.(He winced when she glared at him) You'll still give a speech though, right?" he asked hopefully. He REALLY didn't like paperwork. Damned Satan spawns!

The blonde kitsune shrugged. "Sure, sure. Just get divorced and find yourself a nice harem of flesh sacks, and I'll do that silly little speech. I'll get Ku-shi-na-chan here to fold eventually." The woman in question growled slightly under the haze of affectionate gestures. "I wont be your next lay, damn Ero-Kitsune!" He grinned in response. Such a fiery and stubborn girl. He enjoyed a good challenge. Taking an experimental nip at her earlobe, he grinned when she didn't shy away from the contact. In fact, she seemed content to receive the attention if the way she arched her back told him anything.

So the furless blonde ape wasn't very affectionate in his time with her, hmm? The more fool him. Girls like Kushina were very rare finds. Beautiful, strong and powerful, unafraid to question authority when not in agreement. Boldly kicking the ass of anyone to defy them despite stacked odds. Naruto knew better though. Beneath the hardened and temperamental exterior lay a gentle soul, weary of the many terrible things in the world, and seeking genuine affection and perhaps, love. He had a good feeling Kushina was like that.

He smirked foxily. Well, there's that, and the fact that he enjoyed women who weren't afraid to beat the hell out of him when he made a screw up. Call him a masochist, but he didn't exactly appreciate those that couldn't speak up for themselves, and fight tooth and nail for what they wanted. His hand settled on her left breast and gave it a few experimental squeezes. Ah... perfect, D-cup. Not even the fist rapidly approaching his nose could kill this moment. His world went dark.

Naruto blinked as the blurry surroundings came back into focus. He looked to his left and saw Kushina chasing around Minato, attempting to wipe off the blood on her knuckles onto his clothes. He sat up and winced. Having bone fragments shoved into your brain via a punched in nose always sucked. The headache lasted for FIVE whole minutes! The torture! With a sigh, he snapped his fingers and he was fully cleaned and clothed in his favorite attire.

He perked up when Minato ran into the room, yelling with a pleading voice. "C'mon Kushina-chan. Be reasonable! I just bought these Pj's!" A gleeful cackling voice answered. "Hah. Who would've thought! The great Namikaze Minato, reduced to a little girl more concerned over the state of his clothing because of a few drops of blood!"

"Damn it, Kushina-chan! These silk pj's are brand new, and expensive too! What would you do if I wiped blood on your clothes?" The fiery Kunoichi rolled her eyes. "I'd wash them, baka."

Naruto chuckled at their behavior. "Yare yare! Acting like little brats. If only the kit could see you now."

"It think its funny as hell." A voice to his right piped up. He blinked, and looked at the grinning form of Uzumaki Nanako. She was still dressed in the silk orange pj's he had conjured for her last night. The cartoonish bowls of ramen and kunai were a nice touch as the girl had told him. Her blonde locks looked damp and hastily dried. She had apparently had a shower before coming down.

He smiled in response. "Did you have a good night's sleep, kit?" After a day of being called Mistress, the young girl had badgered him into calling her anything but that. So he settled on calling her kit instead(He wouldn't admit it, but he genuinely enjoyed calling her that). She had insisted on calling him something other than Kyuubi as a result. His eyebrow twitched. Kushina had gotten the habit of calling him 'Ero-Kitsune' from Nanako. The little brat had dubbed him that after the whole bikini mud wrestling thing several days ago.

The whiskered girl grinned cheerily. "It was okay, I guess. It's pretty weird sleeping on a completely different bed so suddenly though." Naruto hummed thoughtfully, and pulled the young girl onto his lap, grinning when she pouted at him for being abducted from her spot on Minato's recliner. With a flick of his wrist, a hairbrush appeared in his hand. The girl hummed contently as he gently brushed her hair. He grinned wryly. The kit had certainly taken advantage of the fact that he was her 'servant'. Despite this, she treated him more like a friend than anything.

He blinked when the girl turned around to hug and cuddle him after finishing brushing her hair. His eyebrow twitched. Scratch that. The brat thought he was an oversize walking toy plushy.

The Kitsune's eyes drooped and he let out a sigh of satisfaction, he hadn't noticed Nanako's fingers snaking up to his ears. Okay, maybe it wasn't as bad as he thought. The kit certainly had a certain finesse when it came to massaging his foxy ears and tails.(He REFUSED to call it petting. He wasn't some bloody domesticated animal.) That sort of made up for it. "Kit.." He mumbled, eyes glazing.

"Hm?" He blinked, brought out of the spell and looked at the curious looking little blonde. Several of his tails wrapped around her and pulled her close. "The toad licker said I have to give a speech to the all the worthless bugs that live in this village. I want you there with me to help the more slower ones realize that indeed I am the Kyuubi and you are not."

The whiskered girl nodded then scrunched her nose cutely. "Ne, Ero-Kitsune?" His eyebrow twitched, as he hummed questioningly. "Why do you call dad all those weird nick names all the time?" The kitsune huffed. "For the same reason that you call me Ero-Kitsune, gaki."

Nanako blinked curiously, and cutely tilted her head to the side quizzically. "You love him?" "What?" Naruto choked on his spit and spent nearly a minute trying to regain his composure. "Eh.. No kit. He's an ass, and I disrespect him whenever I can. I'm none too happy he trusted this village with your safety after the sealing." The whiskered girl nodded thoughtfully.

She had always prided herself on reading people just by looking at their eyes. It was a skill she had to develop out of necessity. With a simple look into the eyes of most people, she could more or less tell whether that person held good or bad intentions to her. The Kyuubi however, was one of the few she met that she couldn't quite decipher. He was a walking talking puzzle to her. She understood that he didn't REALLY have to be her servant, honestly, godlike beings don't just willingly become someone's slaves. Apparently everyone else was stupid enough to believe him though. Why he stuck around though, she had no idea. She enjoyed the attention he lavished on her, thanks in no small part to her lonely childhood. He was always patient with her for the short time she'd known him. And he genuinely seemed to care, despite him trying to hide it expertly. She would strife to keep him, her first real friend. He was probably the only one that really knew the real her, and even then, he was kind to her.

The whiskered blonde giggled when the kitsune poked her on several sensitive spots on her midriff. "So you love me huh? You call me Ero-Kitsune, right?" The girl blushed and tried to cave in on herself to hide. The blonde felt oddly touched. She loved him despite the fact that he was a major key in the shitty life she had until recent years... Ah. Screw it.. he'd stick around longer and see how she grew up. The brat was like a fungus. You just couldn't get rid of her once she got to you. He sighed, gently running his clawed fingers through her hair. Stupid emotional attachments.

Naruto gathered the orange clad girl into his arms and held her close. "Love ya too, brat. I dunno how you managed to worm your way into my heart, but there's not much I can do about that now, hmm?" A warm smile, a genuine warm smile, graced the little girl's features, and she returned the hug.

A loud crash was heard and both kitsune and young girl looked at the cause of it. Kushina sat on Minato's back, his arm bent in a painful position to prevent him from tossing the redhead off of him. His eyes widened in horror when he saw a spittle covered finger approach his ear. Kushina grinned evilly.

"Wet willy!"

"Aaaah! Nooo!"

But then something struck the Kitsune's curiosity. Usually when there wasn't a Kyuubi in the elemental nations or counterpart realm it was either in hell or simply reborn as some half-breed through some sort of connection. He then began to wondered, where was the Kyuubi of this world?

00

Chapter End

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Well this is another adopted story. I figure if old stories like these that are well loved aren't going to be updated then why not take them up? Sure it'll take awhile, but someone has to keep an eye on them. Anyway this will probably half and half balance of comedy and action. Until then, I hope you guys enjoy my other stories until I update this one.