FicWad

"Who here feels safe at school?" asked Dr."Caring"
I raise my hand along with everyone else.
It was a lie like everything else.
"What about at home?" she asked the 90 students.
I raise my hand. Another lie. I turn my head and see one of my classmates
smiling. How could they enjoy being lied to?
He turns to look at me and I quickly smile back and turn away.
I'm not happy.
This program is useless.
I'm never happy.
Does pretending they care bring them happiness? Does letting someone down once they
have this person's trust lead to happiness? If so, i should try it. Maybe i'll laugh again.
I'll never be happy.
I look down at my arm. Do people notice? The scars, the memories, they're killing me.
I'm not depressed, i'm not going hungry, i'm not dying. I'm just some shadow. I'll listen, just not pay attention.
Maybe if I die people will remember who I used to be, before everything. Maybe the present will be erased.
I want my blood to paint another life for me to absorb. To lose myself in it. To die in peace in a puddle of the rest of my life.
I want to see my blood. I want to taste it. I want to spill it and dye it and paint with it.
A beautiful picture. I want it to be perfect.
Something with more detail than Adam and Eve.
Something that God would think is perfect.
But my art is meaningless.
My tears flow.
I can't see.
Why must you test me God?
What am I to you?!
A toy?!
Do you want my tears?
Do you want my SOUL?
TAKE THEM.
I can't live with them.
I want to be mindless.

A/N: My first story! I must give credits to someone but they asked me to say it like this so I will. "I GIVE CREDITS TO FUCKING LADY NINJA."