FicWad

First off I think I broke my poor little left pinky toe (well at least split it really hard core D:) and I hacked my left ankle up (somehow, wake up FOR THE SECOND TIME, and it's all hacky-slashy)

Okay but my problem,
Overly regretting a total fuck up...

Why?

I dated this guy (I dated 1 guy, kissed the only guy I dated twice, the only time I kissed people) okay?

Now for the last couple months of grade 9 we were together, and it was well at the time..different.
Why? First REAL boyfriend (shams and "we're dating" kind of thing. First real thing)

Now, it was weird, the whole holding hands shit and all that didn't click with me..felt to unusual..

The worst? He told me he might be moving to BC (I live in Alberta so) and that killed me (he's been my best friend for 11 years, going on 12) and put me on the hot spot..
I told him I didn't want long-distance for my first relationship (get me?)
So thats when it ended (the first time) after that it was more on off than a fucking light switch...

Now onto my problem at hand,
I fucking all out regret it.

The whole "never should of let you go" thing is SO FUCKING TRUE!!
It sucks,
I miss it,
The way I could be in a bad mood or have a bad day, and know someone would care/ give me a hug 

He was so fucking sweet and GAH!
We like the same shit, he knows so much about me (best thing is he was talking and said "oh yeah I ship us"..I died laughing in the best way possible)

But how much I regret it, he won't want me back, I won't bring the subject up(that would make things akward)..plus he likes a girl who can get whatever guy she wants (who is rumored to having a crush on him)..

Sorry guys, it's been 4 months, but it just hit me