Categories > Original > Humor
Boys Don't Kiss Boys: A SHINee Fanfiction
0 reviewsJonghyun wants to change his gender. Minho is a sassy student. As neighbours they grew up close. But maybe one of them wants a little bit more than just ‘neighbours’.
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Foreword
“Umma!!” Jonghyun whined. “Why do I have this?” He stood naked in the kitchen doorway holding his penis tighter than is medically recommended.
“Honey, stop squeezing it- you’re seriously damaging the odds of me ever having grandchildren.” Jonghyun released his vice like grip, but maintained the grumpy face. “You have to have it so you can pee, silly!” Jonghyun’s mum continued.
“But you don’t have one!” He shrilled.
“I’m a girl, Jonghyun.”
“Why can’t I be a girl?!” Jonghyun yelled and ran to his room, tears streaming down his face.
His mum waited a minute and then followed him. She found him curled in a ball on his bed sniffling into his pillow. She sat next to him and rubbed his shoulders.
“Okay, what’s wrong? Why are you suddenly not happy being a boy?” She asked.
“I just want to be a girl and be pretty like umma.” Jonghyun’s words were muffled, his face in his pillow.
“I thought you wanted to be tall and strong like appa, honey?” Jonghyun’s mum was confused.
“But boys don’t kiss boys!!” Jonghyun lifted his head long enough to scream.
Jonghyun’s mum just sat there and waited knowing he would explain himself eventually. Even at the young age of four Jonghyun never shut up.
“I want Minho to kiss me. I want to be his princess.” He almost whispered.
“Oh,” Jonghyun’s mum was finally beginning to get it. But what do you do when your child is in love with the next door neighbour’s child?
“Jonghyun- look at me.” Jonghyun’s mum lifted him onto her lap and turned him to face her. “Be happy with who you are. You are a wonderful, inquisitive, chatty boy who has more energy than all the kids on the entire street.” She told him. “Minho is your very best friend and he loves you- just like umma loves you.”
“But umma doesn’t kiss me.” Jonghyun mumbled.
“Yes I do!” Jonghyun’s mum said planting a big wet kiss on his cheek.
“EW!” Jonghyun cried with a smile, wiping the slime off his face. “No! I mean like lip kissing. Like umma and appa.”
“Well, honey, that’s because only grown-ups kiss on the lips. You’re far too young for lips!” His mum said, pinching his plump cherub lips. “You aren’t old enough to be even thinking about lip kissing, you naughty boy!” She teased blowing on his naked stomach.
Jonghyun giggled and has face broke into his normal smile.
“So, my little princess, how does lunch sound?” His mum offered.
“Fish fingers and custard?” Jonghyun asked.
“Anything you want,” His mum smiled, thanking all the gods that Jonghyun’s ADHD made him easily distracted. “But how about we put on some undies first, okay?”
“Umma!!” Jonghyun whined. “Why do I have this?” He stood naked in the kitchen doorway holding his penis tighter than is medically recommended.
“Honey, stop squeezing it- you’re seriously damaging the odds of me ever having grandchildren.” Jonghyun released his vice like grip, but maintained the grumpy face. “You have to have it so you can pee, silly!” Jonghyun’s mum continued.
“But you don’t have one!” He shrilled.
“I’m a girl, Jonghyun.”
“Why can’t I be a girl?!” Jonghyun yelled and ran to his room, tears streaming down his face.
His mum waited a minute and then followed him. She found him curled in a ball on his bed sniffling into his pillow. She sat next to him and rubbed his shoulders.
“Okay, what’s wrong? Why are you suddenly not happy being a boy?” She asked.
“I just want to be a girl and be pretty like umma.” Jonghyun’s words were muffled, his face in his pillow.
“I thought you wanted to be tall and strong like appa, honey?” Jonghyun’s mum was confused.
“But boys don’t kiss boys!!” Jonghyun lifted his head long enough to scream.
Jonghyun’s mum just sat there and waited knowing he would explain himself eventually. Even at the young age of four Jonghyun never shut up.
“I want Minho to kiss me. I want to be his princess.” He almost whispered.
“Oh,” Jonghyun’s mum was finally beginning to get it. But what do you do when your child is in love with the next door neighbour’s child?
“Jonghyun- look at me.” Jonghyun’s mum lifted him onto her lap and turned him to face her. “Be happy with who you are. You are a wonderful, inquisitive, chatty boy who has more energy than all the kids on the entire street.” She told him. “Minho is your very best friend and he loves you- just like umma loves you.”
“But umma doesn’t kiss me.” Jonghyun mumbled.
“Yes I do!” Jonghyun’s mum said planting a big wet kiss on his cheek.
“EW!” Jonghyun cried with a smile, wiping the slime off his face. “No! I mean like lip kissing. Like umma and appa.”
“Well, honey, that’s because only grown-ups kiss on the lips. You’re far too young for lips!” His mum said, pinching his plump cherub lips. “You aren’t old enough to be even thinking about lip kissing, you naughty boy!” She teased blowing on his naked stomach.
Jonghyun giggled and has face broke into his normal smile.
“So, my little princess, how does lunch sound?” His mum offered.
“Fish fingers and custard?” Jonghyun asked.
“Anything you want,” His mum smiled, thanking all the gods that Jonghyun’s ADHD made him easily distracted. “But how about we put on some undies first, okay?”
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