FicWad

h 37 SHOPPING

Josh's POV

I look around the room for Matt.

"Maaaaaaaaaattttttttyyyyyyyyyy!!"

"What gorgeous?"

"We need to go shopping for this little fucker!"

"FUCK YES YES HELL YES!" He yells.

"God, I'm the preggers one! I am supposed to act crazy!"

"Dude, go to the fucking Costco, and get shit."

___at costco___

I am running around like a beheaded chicken in the baby aisle,

"JOSHUA FUCKING RAMSAY!! CALM DOWN!" Matt yells.

"READ BETWEEN THE LINES!" I snarl, holding up 3 fingers.

I look at the baby onsies.

"Oh, god, I need this one!!" I gasp. Its a fucking rainbow onsie.

"Joshua. No. Put that down. You're NOT getting it." Matt scolds.

"Why?" I whine.

"Do you want our child dressed up as a gay pride flag?!"

"YES." I grin at him.

"Dear lord Josh. I don't fucking care if you dye your hair rainbow, but seriously? DONT PUT OUR KID GO THROUGH HELL FOR WEARING A RAINBOW ONSIE!"

"Ohhh< NOW I WANNA DYE MY HAIR RAINBOW!" I squeal.

"Fuck, Josh. No. No. NO."

I pull out a black onsie, that says, "WATCH YOUR MOUTH AROUND THE FUCKING BABY!" I want it!

Matt looks at me, "No. No. Josh your parents are going to kill you if you get that one!"

I go through onsies, and finally find one that says, "BAZINGA!" from THE BIG BANG THEORY, cause its just THAT badass!

"Josh, are you seriously going to expose our child to the awkwardness of Sheldon Cooper?"

"Uh, duh."

"I fond another onsie with teh Soft Kitty song!" I grin.


"Joshua fucking Ramsay. :You want our child to grow up to be Howard?"

"Hey, the guy only got his penis almost broken once!" I retort.

"JOSH THERE ARE FUCKING CHILDREN HERE!" Matt screams.

"Its eitehr hear it in Costco, or hear it at school!"

Matt looks at me, "Josh. You feeling okay?"

"Yeah, why?"

"You look kinda pale."

"I'm fine!"

"You sure?"

"Yes dear!"

People stare at us.

"Fuck em Josh, they don't know what they're missing!"

I kiss Matt, and he pulls out this badass onsie that says, "I only talk to people when I'm drunk on formula!"


We spend about an hour grabbing random shit for the kid. I buy a cat hat, and socks that look like converse shoes, so we can match! GODDAMN I SOUND LIKE A WOMAN!

Matt kisses me, "You hungry beautiful?"

"Fuck yeah! I AM!" we go to McDonalds, and I am fucking starving.

I get some fries, and a coke zero.Fuck yes.

"Josh, Coke Zeros are bad for the kid."

"FUCK WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITHOUT MY COKE ZERO?" I gasped. "NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!"

I think I'm going insane! Matt looks at me, "Josh, you okay?"

"No, I think I'm going to be sick."

"Josh, its just the morning sickness."

He leads me to the bathroom, and I throw up all the fries and coke zeros.

Matt goes through the bags, and looks at the onsies I picked out with him.

"Oh, shit man. These onsies are fucking hilarious!"

Matt kissed me, "Feeling any better?"

"Yeah, lets go back to the rehab centere."

We kiss and walk out of the McDonalds, and go to the car.

This is fucking amazing. This KID is fucking amaznig.

I cant believe I didn't want this kid only about a week ago. Fuck raging hormones.

HI SAM!!!!!!!!! I AM BACK! :3 I GOT A FEW OF THE ONSIES IDEAS ON my own. ENJ)OY! :D