FicWad

Frank's P.O.V

I got a call from The Illuminator, my boss, last night saying that I had to come into work early. Apparently there’s going to be the biggest crime in the century, and only his top spies can stop it. Thank god I’m one of them. I don’t want to be stuck doing paperwork all day, and sometimes if you do really well on it, they get someone else to do the majority of it as one of the rewards. My agent name is agent Pansy. I named myself after my guitar, although now some of the spies who don’t know me think I’m gay. Even some of the ones who do. I’m not though. I’m Frank Iero, and my girlfriend’s name is Penina Dayne. I had to act shocked and relieved that the explosion that went off yesterday happened, but all of us spies knew, and even though it’s highly unlikely that she would’ve been there, she still could’ve been. I’m lucky to have her. I’d like to tell her about the fact that I’m a spy, but that would mean I would have to stop being a spy, and I love this job.

Penina and I got up at the same time and got ready for work. She thinks I work at a recording studio. Sometimes I go there in my spare time and play the guitar, but apart from that, I know basically nothing about that place. I love music though. Everyone knows it. I’m pretty sure Penina knows it more than I do. We even had our first kiss in a music shop. I was singing out loud, probably out of tune, so to shut me up, Penina kissed me. We’re both glad she did. Penina was probably glad for more reasons though, but I loved it anyway. We went there to skip maths one day in school.

‘Have a fun day at the kennels.’ I said giving her a kiss.

‘Have a better day at the studio.’ She said hugging me and smiling. We left the flat and went to work. When I got there I immediately went to The Illuminator’s office.

‘Hey. What’s this thing we have to do?’ I asked sitting down.

‘Let’s wait for the other agents first. Agent Poison, Agent Fro, Agent Knees and Agent Drumstick will be here, along with 5 other women.’ He said.

‘I’m the first one here?’ I asked. He laughed so loud, I swear some of the agents next door started planning a raid.

‘Oh god, no. We’re just keeping you in separate rooms for the meet up. In fact, I want you to just meet the girl you’re going to be working with the most today. You’ve probably heard of her. Her agent name’s Agent Lucidity. One of my very top agents.’ He said. The door opened and whoever she was walked in with her secretary. I couldn’t see her face properly yet though.

‘Agent Pansy? What? Is he gay? I love gay men.’ She said. I instantly recognised that voice.

‘No. He’s not. Especially not after last night.’ I said like a smartarse. I could see her bright green eyes widen after she stared at me.

‘Crap.’ She squeaked out.

‘What noise was that?’ The Illuminator asked. He started laughing.

‘Nothing, I just didn’t know he was in earshot.’ Penina lied. My girlfriend’s a spy? Why didn’t she tell me? Okay, well, I didn’t tell her, but we tell each other everything. Apart from the fact that I’m a spy.

‘Well, I’ll let you two get acquainted, and then tomorrow I’ll tell you what and who we’re working on.’ He said. He and the secretary left the room.

‘Frank? I can’t believe you’re a spy. That is so fake of you.’ She said. I giggled. She did too.

‘Wow. This is so weird. I thought you were just the innocent puppy loving girl that I loved so much, and now you’re a spy.’ I stated.

‘Wait? So you don’t love me anymore because I’m a spy? You’re a spy too.’ She said.

‘No, of course I love you, it’s just that it’s going to take a lot of getting used to. I mean, you’re Agent Lucidity. The Illuminator boasts that you’re his top spy, and you just thought my name was gay.’ I argued.

‘Yeah, but it does sound a bit gay, but what did I just say? I love gay people. They’re the best, but not as much as you, clearly. You want to know what my last mission was?’ She asked. I nodded my head.

‘What was it?’ I asked.

‘I blew up that building yesterday.’ She answered. I smiled.

‘Do you have to wear latex sometimes?’ I asked. She nodded her head in embarrassment. ‘I fucking love this job. Can I see you in it sometime?’ I asked. She giggled.

‘Well, maybe, but first we need to talk about this. All of the group’s girlfriends are spies.’ She said.

‘All of the group’s boyfriends are too. Do you think we need to have a group chat about it?’ I asked.

‘Yeah, I really do. I say we invite them over tonight, and then if we all agree, we tell The Illuminator.’ She suggested.

‘What if they don’t? We can’t exactly lie to the spies can we?’ I asked.

‘Well, it’s not lying, we’re just not telling them something. For instance, I don’t tell them that my bed sheets are white even though I want a different colour but it’s just to hide my boyfriend’s wet dreams.’ She said.

‘Oi!’ I shouted.

‘Well, it’s the exact same thing as not telling them that we know each other. There’s literally no difference.’ She said. I sighed and nodded my head.

‘Okay, then let’s go to our place tonight. Believe me, no one has anything planned. We’re the loners that managed to join together to create a force stronger than anything mankind know of.’ I said like the hulk. She just giggled and kissed my forehead lovingly. I smiled and we snuggled for a long time. This is the best day at work I’ve ever had.

As soon as we got home, the group started arriving in small clusters at a time. It seemed like they didn’t need to go to work today, or at least they didn’t see each other there.

‘So, why are we here all of a sudden? Oh my god! Penina? Are you pregnant?’ Shayla, one of my best friends who’s also known as Agent Fox, asked.

‘No, it’s something far more serious than that. We’re all a bunch of liars.’ She answered.

‘What are you talking about?’ Gerard asked. I sighed.

‘Agent Poison, Agent Fro, Agent Knees and Agent Drumstick, meet your girlfriends, Agent Pirate, Agent Fox, Agent Blue and Agent Tunny.’ I said. ‘Girls, I’m Agent Pansy, and guys, my girlfriend’s Agent Lucidity.’ I answered. Everyone looked shocked.

‘Wait, we’re all spies? Even Mikey?’ Hozzie asked.

‘Damn right I am.’ Mikey said pulling a knife out of his sock.

‘Wait, you’re Agent Lucidity? Agent Lucidity and Agent Pansy are dating? No one would have suspected it. Everyone thinks you’re gay!’ Jennifer told me. Everyone else started laughing.

‘Hey, Penina can tell you guys how straight I am. I’m straighter than the pole Mikey and Gee’s mum dances on. No offence guys.’ I said.

‘It’s cool. Although, I really wish she wasn’t a stripper.’ Gerard said.

‘Guys, what are we going to do about this?’ Ray asked.

‘I say we tell The Illuminator.’ Bob said.

‘I agree. I mean, maybe he could get some different agents so that we our personal lives don’t interfere with work?’ Callie suggested.

‘No, he wouldn’t do that. He’d be too stubborn to keep us all on the job.’ Penina said.

‘Look, let’s just talk to him now. He lives in the HQ, so let’s give him a home visit.’ Mikey said. We all left the apartment and drove to work. We knocked on The Illuminators office door. We could hear grunting sounds, so we were a bit nervous when he invited us in. He was lifting weights, but dropped them all when he saw us all in the same room together.

‘Agents? How did you guys meet each other? Was it Susie? Damn it Susie. I swear she’s a spy from another country.’ He said.

‘No. Susie didn’t do anything. Look, we all know each other. We’re all in relationships, and we needed to tell you in case it interfered with the mission.’ Penina said nervously. I put my arm around her to stop her shaking.

‘Well, there’s been a massive change. I’m going to have to kill you all.’ He said. We were all shocked and terrified, but then he burst out into a fit of laughter. Sometimes I wish I could kill him. ‘You should have seen the looks on your faces. Anyway, I can’t be bothered to change it now, so I trust you all to be professional about this. The briefing’s tomorrow. Goodnight.’ He said. We left the room in confusion and then spoke to each other.

‘That went well.’ Jen said.

‘Yeah, really well. But, I’m too tired to question it. Goodnight guys.’ Gerard said taking Hozzie’s hand. We all went our separate ways and got some sleep. No wonder why people shouldn’t trust spies. Their bosses can be idiots.

Long chapter today!!! WOO!!! Anyway, I went to Battersea Cats and Dogs home for a school trip, and guess who I saw? Give up? Okay! I saw Paul O'Grady there!!! ASDFGHJKL!!!! He was filming a Christmas special of his show!!! We weren't on the camera, but I shouted "Oh my god! It's Paul O'Grady!" And he said hi and joked that he was an alcoholic looking for a home there. I'm not sure how he worded it but it was really funny. Oh god! He was so nice! I love him! Unfortunately, I wasn't even in arms length of him, so I didn't manage to get a picture, but he's so nice GOD I LOVE HIM I WANT TO HUG HIM!!! HE'S LIKE THE GRANDPA I NEVER HAD BUT I WISH I DID!!! Haha. I hope you liked this chapter!!! Rate and review! XD xx