Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Forbidden Desires
-Slow down, the world isn’t watching us break down.-
**
My cell phone lit up and I gazed down at the response from my mother. “Okay. I love you sweetheart.” I’d texted her that I was sleeping at Lily’s. It was easy enough. I just had to play the pity card, and tell her that I felt uncomfortable with all of the drama that was going on. She didn’t question me. I’d always been favored against Ryan. It wasn’t fair at all and I hated it, especially now but it was something I planned to use to my advantage. Ryan and I needed to talk tonight. I wasn’t going to let him off the hook. I needed to know what was going on, and I needed to make my feelings clear to him… even if he was running from the feelings he’d told me that he shared with me.
Ryan looked over my shoulder, “How’s Mom holding up?”
“She’s just been crying a lot so far.”
Ryan frowned.
“It’s not your fault-”
Ryan cut me off, “And Dad?”
“He refuses to even acknowledge what is happening, I think.”
Ryan nodded.
I wanted him to say more, but instead it was Marie who spoke up- interrupting us. “Are you guys ready for a game of truth or dare, alcohol style?”
“What’s that?” I’d played truth or dare before, but never ‘alcohol style’.
“If you don’t want to tell the truth or do the dare then you have to take a shot of whiskey.” Ryan responded, with a shrug. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do though.”
“Stop trying to take the fun out of the game Ryan!” Marie slapped him on the shoulder and quickly disappeared.
Ryan shrugged. “So?”
“I can play.” I answered.
I mean, how bad could the questions get?
Brendon had the bottle of whiskey, along with two shot glasses. “Chasers?” I nervously asked. I’d never taken a shot without a chaser before.
“I’ll get something.” Ryan mumbled, disappearing for a second.
I sat beside Spencer, as Marie settled beside Brendon.
They giggled over something and I felt my own jealousy grow out of control. I wanted to be like them. It would certainly make things easier.
“You okay?” Spencer leaned over and asked, completely embarrassing me. I didn’t think I was that obvious!
“I’m fine, thanks.” I felt my cheeks heat to a blush just as Ryan sat down beside me. He had a cold 2-liter of Dr. Pepper.
“This work?” Ryan asked.
“Does no one else use a chaser?” I asked.
“Not really.” Ryan shrugged.
I was only a year younger but around them I felt like such a kid.
“So, let’s start!” Marie cheerfully spoke up, gazing at Brendon playfully. “Truth or dare Brendon?”
“Dare.” Brendon grinned widely.
Marie thought for several seconds before glancing at me. “Sorry Kassidy. This is kind of a welcome to the group dare.” I nervously glanced at Brendon as she said that. What was she going to dare him to do? “Brendon, I dare you to make out with Kassidy.”
“Make out with her?” Brendon seemed unfazed.
“Yep. No light kissing. I want to see an actual make out session.” I found the dare strange, since it was Brendon’s girlfriend daring him to make out with another girl- that girl being me. Damn.
Ryan didn’t say anything, but as I glanced at him he was looking down at his clenched fists.
“Doesn’t this seem like more of a dare for Kassidy?” Brendon laughed and moved closer. “You okay Kassidy? You look nervous. Don’t pretend you haven’t dreamt of this moment.”
“I just, I don’t know.” I blushed what felt like a brighter color and tried to laugh it off. “I’m not making the first move.”
Brendon chuckled, “I guess it’s up to me then. You sure this is what you want babe?” He glanced at Marie.
Marie grinned widely, “I like to watch.” She winked, and Ryan made a gagging noise.
Brendon laughed, “Let’s see… Out of everyone in this room, the only real safe spot for me will be next to Spencer after this.” Spencer scooted over as Brendon sat between us.
“Kassidy.” Brendon gazed at me intently.
“Yeah?” I returned the stare.
Brendon cracked a smile. “You’re beautiful.”
I laughed a little. “Thanks, I guess.”
“Hey, I’m the whole package.” Brendon teased, right before leaning in and closing the distance between us. He didn’t waste any time in running his tongue along my bottom lip. I parted my lips, allowing him entrance. It was hard to focus, knowing that everyone in the room was watching us. I felt so on display… and kind of horrible. I mean, I was making out with a guy while his girlfriend was less than three feet away- but she was the one who set the whole thing up. Ryan’s friends were odd.
Brendon’s hands began to roam, and one of them gently squeezed one of my breasts. Seconds later I felt a sharp pressure and Brendon pulled his hand away as Ryan apologized, “I didn’t mean to hit you Kass.” I couldn’t help but smile in to the ongoing kiss and then Brendon laughed, and the whole thing was over quite quickly after that.
Brendon pulled away, still laughing. “Ryan- truth or dare.” He moved on, as if nothing had happened.
“Dare.” Ryan replied.
“I dare you to feel up Marie.” He grinned, “Payback for the both of you.”
Marie rolled her eyes and Ryan reached for the bottle of whiskey. No one said anything as he poured himself a shot and quickly downed it.
Ryan glanced at me. “Truth or dare.”
I felt myself blushing, though I hadn’t even been asked to do anything yet. “Truth.” Now, I was the lame one out. Oh well.
“What really happened with Derek?” The entire room went silent. Brendon stopped shoving Spencer, and Spencer stared openly.
I didn’t know it was that big of a deal.
“I went out with him with the intention of leading him on.” Brendon shook his head. “Lily and I were being stupid, and he wouldn’t let me out of the car unless I gave him a blowjob- since that was what I owed for him driving us to the party. Lily climbed out and disappeared with Eric so I panicked. I sprayed Derek in the face and got out. Nothing really happened between us besides kissing.”
Ryan nodded.
My turn.
“Truth or dare Ryan.” I stared directly at him, as his friends continued to watch us.
“Truth.” Ryan replied.
I struggled with my wording, as a million thoughts ran through my mind- and I was being completely see through with what I meant. For the moment I didn’t particularly care. I was being judged by everyone else. What was a few more people? “The day that you called in to school for us… Did you mean what you said?”
Brendon groaned, “That’s not fair. You guys are telling secrets right in front of us!”
Ryan didn’t even look at him as he reached for the bottle of whiskey again.
I reached out and took the whiskey directly from his hands, hiding it behind my back. “Does he have to answer the question if he can’t find the whiskey?” I asked the group.
Marie giggled, “Yep.”
I felt Brendon pull the bottle out of my hands just as Ryan moved forward, reaching behind me for the bottle. “Where’d you put it?” He asked.
“Answer the question.” I responded.
“Explain the question.” Brendon urged, annoyed with not knowing the whole story.
Ryan shifted around the same time that I did and he ended up falling forward in to my lap and I fell back, knocking Brendon towards Spencer.
Ryan stared in to my eyes. “I’ll take a shot.” He finally spoke, sounding extremely irritated. “Now give me the whiskey Kassidy.”
Marie giggled. “Answer the question Ryan!”
Ryan put both of his hands on either side of me, successfully pinning me below him. “I meant it.”
“Then-” I started to ask a follow up question but Ryan cut me off.
“One question only.” With that said he pulled away, and I felt like an idiot.
I’d gotten part of the answer… but I’d pissed him off while doing so.
So he did love me, in the way that I loved him but- why did he hurt me then? And where did we go from here? Those were questions I couldn’t ask in front of his friends. They weren’t so easily disguised.
Ryan looked around and then paused on Spencer. “Spencer, truth or dare.”
“Truth.” Spencer leaned back, completely relaxed. “Hit me with your best one Ross.”
And so I hit him, upside the head.
Marie snorted from laughter.
Spencer looked shocked.
Brendon leaned over and kissed me upon the lips, temporarily shocking me, causing Marie to laugh harder.
“You guys are definitely weird.” I finally commented, as I took the 2-liter of Dr. Pepper from Ryan.
Ryan looked uncomfortable and took another shot of whiskey, which had mysteriously reappeared beside him.
Marie instantly stopped laughing as an evil look crossed her face. “New idea!” She declared.
Brendon rolled his eyes. “Don’t leave us hanging. What’s this new idea?”
“Let’s play seven minutes in heaven!” Marie grinned.
“There are only two girls.” Spencer notified her, “And one of them happens to be related to one of the guys.”
Marie shrugged, “So? We just happen to be a little dirtier than the average teenagers. Get over the controversy and get your head in the game. You’ll spin the damn bottle and whoever that bottle lands on you’ll go in to Brendon’s room with.”
Spencer sighed. “You’re mental, but fine. You spin first.”
She disappeared for a second, reappearing with an empty whiskey bottle. Once it was on the ground she spun it. It pointed to Spencer, who groaned.
Marie just giggled and jumped up, grabbing his hand. “Come on!”
After Brendon’s door closed behind them it became silent. “So, are we supposed to like, actually… do stuff during seven minutes?” I awkwardly asked.
“Have you never played this game before?” Brendon asked, unconcerned.
“I have but… Marie and you are dating, and Ryan and I are… er- siblings. That really only leaves legitimate seven minutes time between Spencer and myself.”
Brendon laughed. “You’re naïve sweetheart. Marie and I are pretty open about most shit. She’s not fucking Spencer in there, but they better fucking be kissing. If they weren’t then this game would be stupid as fuck. Are you afraid to kiss Ryan? You’re fucking adopte-” He shut his mouth and blushed, “Er, fuck. I’m sorry. Does it bother you if you’re adopted? I’m so fucking insensitive. I just meant that if you and Ryan did something in my bedroom it wouldn’t really be wrong, you know?”
I couldn’t help the smile from forming. Brendon was saying that Ryan and I doing something together wasn’t wrong… those words meant more to me than he could ever know.
Brendon trailed off, looking embarrassed.
“I know I’m adopted.” I informed him, “And I’m not upset about it. I guess you’re right. Everyone is fair game then.”
Ryan shot me a questioning look as Brendon nodded in agreement.
“This seven minutes is fucking taking forever.” Brendon complained. “Kassidy, spin!”
That just left either Brendon or Ryan.
I nervously took hold of the bottle.
It was either Brendon or Ryan.
Fuck.
I tried to spin the bottle but the amount of force I used caused it to fly up and it was Ryan who grabbed it out of the air as it nearly hit him in the face.
Brendon giggled. “Looks like you both have the next seven minutes together in the guest bedroom.”
Ryan sighed and stood, extending his hand to me.
Brendon seemed less concerned than Ryan and I did.
I was trembling as I placed my hand in his.
**
My cell phone lit up and I gazed down at the response from my mother. “Okay. I love you sweetheart.” I’d texted her that I was sleeping at Lily’s. It was easy enough. I just had to play the pity card, and tell her that I felt uncomfortable with all of the drama that was going on. She didn’t question me. I’d always been favored against Ryan. It wasn’t fair at all and I hated it, especially now but it was something I planned to use to my advantage. Ryan and I needed to talk tonight. I wasn’t going to let him off the hook. I needed to know what was going on, and I needed to make my feelings clear to him… even if he was running from the feelings he’d told me that he shared with me.
Ryan looked over my shoulder, “How’s Mom holding up?”
“She’s just been crying a lot so far.”
Ryan frowned.
“It’s not your fault-”
Ryan cut me off, “And Dad?”
“He refuses to even acknowledge what is happening, I think.”
Ryan nodded.
I wanted him to say more, but instead it was Marie who spoke up- interrupting us. “Are you guys ready for a game of truth or dare, alcohol style?”
“What’s that?” I’d played truth or dare before, but never ‘alcohol style’.
“If you don’t want to tell the truth or do the dare then you have to take a shot of whiskey.” Ryan responded, with a shrug. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do though.”
“Stop trying to take the fun out of the game Ryan!” Marie slapped him on the shoulder and quickly disappeared.
Ryan shrugged. “So?”
“I can play.” I answered.
I mean, how bad could the questions get?
Brendon had the bottle of whiskey, along with two shot glasses. “Chasers?” I nervously asked. I’d never taken a shot without a chaser before.
“I’ll get something.” Ryan mumbled, disappearing for a second.
I sat beside Spencer, as Marie settled beside Brendon.
They giggled over something and I felt my own jealousy grow out of control. I wanted to be like them. It would certainly make things easier.
“You okay?” Spencer leaned over and asked, completely embarrassing me. I didn’t think I was that obvious!
“I’m fine, thanks.” I felt my cheeks heat to a blush just as Ryan sat down beside me. He had a cold 2-liter of Dr. Pepper.
“This work?” Ryan asked.
“Does no one else use a chaser?” I asked.
“Not really.” Ryan shrugged.
I was only a year younger but around them I felt like such a kid.
“So, let’s start!” Marie cheerfully spoke up, gazing at Brendon playfully. “Truth or dare Brendon?”
“Dare.” Brendon grinned widely.
Marie thought for several seconds before glancing at me. “Sorry Kassidy. This is kind of a welcome to the group dare.” I nervously glanced at Brendon as she said that. What was she going to dare him to do? “Brendon, I dare you to make out with Kassidy.”
“Make out with her?” Brendon seemed unfazed.
“Yep. No light kissing. I want to see an actual make out session.” I found the dare strange, since it was Brendon’s girlfriend daring him to make out with another girl- that girl being me. Damn.
Ryan didn’t say anything, but as I glanced at him he was looking down at his clenched fists.
“Doesn’t this seem like more of a dare for Kassidy?” Brendon laughed and moved closer. “You okay Kassidy? You look nervous. Don’t pretend you haven’t dreamt of this moment.”
“I just, I don’t know.” I blushed what felt like a brighter color and tried to laugh it off. “I’m not making the first move.”
Brendon chuckled, “I guess it’s up to me then. You sure this is what you want babe?” He glanced at Marie.
Marie grinned widely, “I like to watch.” She winked, and Ryan made a gagging noise.
Brendon laughed, “Let’s see… Out of everyone in this room, the only real safe spot for me will be next to Spencer after this.” Spencer scooted over as Brendon sat between us.
“Kassidy.” Brendon gazed at me intently.
“Yeah?” I returned the stare.
Brendon cracked a smile. “You’re beautiful.”
I laughed a little. “Thanks, I guess.”
“Hey, I’m the whole package.” Brendon teased, right before leaning in and closing the distance between us. He didn’t waste any time in running his tongue along my bottom lip. I parted my lips, allowing him entrance. It was hard to focus, knowing that everyone in the room was watching us. I felt so on display… and kind of horrible. I mean, I was making out with a guy while his girlfriend was less than three feet away- but she was the one who set the whole thing up. Ryan’s friends were odd.
Brendon’s hands began to roam, and one of them gently squeezed one of my breasts. Seconds later I felt a sharp pressure and Brendon pulled his hand away as Ryan apologized, “I didn’t mean to hit you Kass.” I couldn’t help but smile in to the ongoing kiss and then Brendon laughed, and the whole thing was over quite quickly after that.
Brendon pulled away, still laughing. “Ryan- truth or dare.” He moved on, as if nothing had happened.
“Dare.” Ryan replied.
“I dare you to feel up Marie.” He grinned, “Payback for the both of you.”
Marie rolled her eyes and Ryan reached for the bottle of whiskey. No one said anything as he poured himself a shot and quickly downed it.
Ryan glanced at me. “Truth or dare.”
I felt myself blushing, though I hadn’t even been asked to do anything yet. “Truth.” Now, I was the lame one out. Oh well.
“What really happened with Derek?” The entire room went silent. Brendon stopped shoving Spencer, and Spencer stared openly.
I didn’t know it was that big of a deal.
“I went out with him with the intention of leading him on.” Brendon shook his head. “Lily and I were being stupid, and he wouldn’t let me out of the car unless I gave him a blowjob- since that was what I owed for him driving us to the party. Lily climbed out and disappeared with Eric so I panicked. I sprayed Derek in the face and got out. Nothing really happened between us besides kissing.”
Ryan nodded.
My turn.
“Truth or dare Ryan.” I stared directly at him, as his friends continued to watch us.
“Truth.” Ryan replied.
I struggled with my wording, as a million thoughts ran through my mind- and I was being completely see through with what I meant. For the moment I didn’t particularly care. I was being judged by everyone else. What was a few more people? “The day that you called in to school for us… Did you mean what you said?”
Brendon groaned, “That’s not fair. You guys are telling secrets right in front of us!”
Ryan didn’t even look at him as he reached for the bottle of whiskey again.
I reached out and took the whiskey directly from his hands, hiding it behind my back. “Does he have to answer the question if he can’t find the whiskey?” I asked the group.
Marie giggled, “Yep.”
I felt Brendon pull the bottle out of my hands just as Ryan moved forward, reaching behind me for the bottle. “Where’d you put it?” He asked.
“Answer the question.” I responded.
“Explain the question.” Brendon urged, annoyed with not knowing the whole story.
Ryan shifted around the same time that I did and he ended up falling forward in to my lap and I fell back, knocking Brendon towards Spencer.
Ryan stared in to my eyes. “I’ll take a shot.” He finally spoke, sounding extremely irritated. “Now give me the whiskey Kassidy.”
Marie giggled. “Answer the question Ryan!”
Ryan put both of his hands on either side of me, successfully pinning me below him. “I meant it.”
“Then-” I started to ask a follow up question but Ryan cut me off.
“One question only.” With that said he pulled away, and I felt like an idiot.
I’d gotten part of the answer… but I’d pissed him off while doing so.
So he did love me, in the way that I loved him but- why did he hurt me then? And where did we go from here? Those were questions I couldn’t ask in front of his friends. They weren’t so easily disguised.
Ryan looked around and then paused on Spencer. “Spencer, truth or dare.”
“Truth.” Spencer leaned back, completely relaxed. “Hit me with your best one Ross.”
And so I hit him, upside the head.
Marie snorted from laughter.
Spencer looked shocked.
Brendon leaned over and kissed me upon the lips, temporarily shocking me, causing Marie to laugh harder.
“You guys are definitely weird.” I finally commented, as I took the 2-liter of Dr. Pepper from Ryan.
Ryan looked uncomfortable and took another shot of whiskey, which had mysteriously reappeared beside him.
Marie instantly stopped laughing as an evil look crossed her face. “New idea!” She declared.
Brendon rolled his eyes. “Don’t leave us hanging. What’s this new idea?”
“Let’s play seven minutes in heaven!” Marie grinned.
“There are only two girls.” Spencer notified her, “And one of them happens to be related to one of the guys.”
Marie shrugged, “So? We just happen to be a little dirtier than the average teenagers. Get over the controversy and get your head in the game. You’ll spin the damn bottle and whoever that bottle lands on you’ll go in to Brendon’s room with.”
Spencer sighed. “You’re mental, but fine. You spin first.”
She disappeared for a second, reappearing with an empty whiskey bottle. Once it was on the ground she spun it. It pointed to Spencer, who groaned.
Marie just giggled and jumped up, grabbing his hand. “Come on!”
After Brendon’s door closed behind them it became silent. “So, are we supposed to like, actually… do stuff during seven minutes?” I awkwardly asked.
“Have you never played this game before?” Brendon asked, unconcerned.
“I have but… Marie and you are dating, and Ryan and I are… er- siblings. That really only leaves legitimate seven minutes time between Spencer and myself.”
Brendon laughed. “You’re naïve sweetheart. Marie and I are pretty open about most shit. She’s not fucking Spencer in there, but they better fucking be kissing. If they weren’t then this game would be stupid as fuck. Are you afraid to kiss Ryan? You’re fucking adopte-” He shut his mouth and blushed, “Er, fuck. I’m sorry. Does it bother you if you’re adopted? I’m so fucking insensitive. I just meant that if you and Ryan did something in my bedroom it wouldn’t really be wrong, you know?”
I couldn’t help the smile from forming. Brendon was saying that Ryan and I doing something together wasn’t wrong… those words meant more to me than he could ever know.
Brendon trailed off, looking embarrassed.
“I know I’m adopted.” I informed him, “And I’m not upset about it. I guess you’re right. Everyone is fair game then.”
Ryan shot me a questioning look as Brendon nodded in agreement.
“This seven minutes is fucking taking forever.” Brendon complained. “Kassidy, spin!”
That just left either Brendon or Ryan.
I nervously took hold of the bottle.
It was either Brendon or Ryan.
Fuck.
I tried to spin the bottle but the amount of force I used caused it to fly up and it was Ryan who grabbed it out of the air as it nearly hit him in the face.
Brendon giggled. “Looks like you both have the next seven minutes together in the guest bedroom.”
Ryan sighed and stood, extending his hand to me.
Brendon seemed less concerned than Ryan and I did.
I was trembling as I placed my hand in his.
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