FicWad

Under MCR because there's no Falling in Reverse, Escape the Fate, or Black Veil Brides category

Andy had slaved away the entire day, cooking for Thanksgiving. He even wore a frilly apron, and had his hair tied back. If he applied some lipstick, he'd look like a scrawny housewife. However, the singer didn't care.

As skinny as he was, he loved cooking. It was more refreshing to him than a breath of fresh air. Or of taking a long piss after having to wait several hours. He hummed a little tune, the refrain to an upbeat song, as he checked the turkey. It was going pretty well, so far.

He had several tray of biscuits, and a cake waiting to go into the over. In the over was 2 trays of biscuits, and the turkey. On the stove, 4 pans, full of macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes, green beans, and gravy.

Bowls of finished food littered the kitchen, as well. On days like this, Andy was glad he actually lived in a house.

Then, the doorbell rang.

Cursing Andy wiped his hands on his apron, and went to open the door. "Holy shit!" Was the first thing out of his mouth.

A giant turkey stood there, glaring at him. "The hell is your problem, man?"


"What do you mean?"

"You know exactly what."

"No..." Andy said, getting ready to slam the door shut and triple lock it, then call the police.

"I'm the ghost of the goddamn turkey in your oven!"

"What?"

"You kill me, chop my head off, pluck my feathers off, rip out my insides, and then to add insult to injury, you shove your hand up my ass!"

"Yeah, I'm calling the cops." Andy said. To say that he was slightly creeped out was an understatement. This had never happened before, and it certainly defied logic. Why should the ghost be larger than the turkey it claimed it was from?

As he went to shut the door, the turkey jammed it's foot in the door, keeping it open. "How about I do the same to you?" It yelled. It sounded familiar, but the singer just couldn't place the voice.

"The fuck?"

"As in how bout I strip you, chop your head off, and go stuffing shit up your ass?"

"Bro, you're the one with issues here!"

"Aw hell nah!" The turkey snarled, charging towards the singer.

Andy scooted back, but the overgrown bird managed to yank off his apron. "You perverted creature!" Andy yelled.

"You were the one with your hand up my corpse's ass a minute ago!"

"Jesus Christ! People stuff turkeys for thanksgiving! Ger over it!"

"Well then I'm gonna stuff you!" The turkey yelled in reply.

Andy ran to the bathroom, and locked himself in. He didn't want to be raped by a giant turkey ghost, thank you very much!

Meanwhile, the turkey walked into the house, shutting the door behind it. Entering the kitchen, it yanked it's head off. In the kitchen, CC was scarfing down the fresh biscuits. Seeing the now headless turkey, he grinned and said, "Best. Thanksgiving. Plan. Ever!"

"Yup!" Ronnie agreed, still looking all the world like a turkey from the neck down.

Meanwhile, in the bathroom, poor little Andy was hyperventilating. Why did a vengeful ghost of a turkey have to come after him of all people?