FicWad

Half an hour later, they'd finally shut up and went to sleep. But it was too late. The damage had already been done. My entire left arm was covered in cuts, some of them probably deep enough to need stitches, and I had started in on my hip as well. The shirt I was wearing had blood on most of the sleeve, and my pants and the waistband of my underwear had blood on them too. I'd need a change of clothes, and stitches, but at this point, I didn't give a fuck. I actually wanted these to scar over, to leave a mark and show me that what I'd been through was real. Dare I say it, I actually think I like it.

But I had to clean this up. I stood, relishing the pain in my hip, before grabbing several washcloths from the nightstand, and the first aid kit from below my bed. And yes, I made sure to keep that fucker extremely well stocked, thank you very much.

I took these into the adjoined bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind me. I set my 'supplies' on the bathroom counter, before peeling off my bloody shirt. My arm was in terrible condition. It'd been scratched up so horribly that I may as well have ripped my skin off. It was covered in blood, and stung like all hell broke loose. I was almost afraid of what I was going to see below the blood. Would I have managed to hit the bone this time?

As I reached for the washcloth, my phone went off, scaring me. I pulled it out of my pocket. It was Andy.

They asleep yet?

Taking a breath, I replied.

Yea

Before I could put it away, he had sent back:

How long?

I said

awhile

before putting it back into my pants.

Then, I grabbed up the washcloth, pressing it to the open gashes on my arm. I bit my lip, holding back a sound of pain. The towel began to soak through in some places. After a few minutes, I pulled it away from my arm. The cuts were starting to scab over slightly in some places. My phone had going off several times during the process. I ignored it, pouring peroxide over my arm, blotting it off with a fresh washcloth once I heard the blood start bubbling and sizzling.

It looked less painful now that my arm didn't resemble a piece of raw meat quite so much. I decided to let it rest a minute, before I rubbed in the anti-biotic ointment. I knew how to treat cuts all too well. Sad to say, the reason for this is because I've had a lot of practice with this kind of thing, in the form of my trying to heal myself after a night like this one.

So I took the opportunity to slide my phone back out of my pocket. From the looks of the messages, Andy was fucking furious.

Thn y didnt u tell me earlier?

Ashley?

Purdy...

WTF r u doin

Ashley -.-

I sighed. Why did he choose today of all days to be all nice to me, when most of the time, he just ignored me?

Hey I sent. Not a minute later he sent back a message saying If u did wat I think ur doin Ima kick ur ass

Wow, that was so fucking helpful. I sent back a message, saying I didn't before tossing my phone into the sink. Then, I started rubbing the ointment into my arm. It stung like hell, but it just served to remind me that suffering was all I deserved.

I pointedly continued to ignore my phone going off in the sink, and by extension, Andy. I opened the first aid kit, and spilled the contents onto the counter. I plucked several butterfly strips out of the mess, ripping open their paper sleeves, before using them to hold the edges of the worst cuts on my wrist closed. I should've gotten stitches, but there was no way they'd give me anything like that without my parents finding out, and that was something I wasn't keen on happening, because Oh, hey look it, I like being free, thanks!

Andy kept spamming me as I laid gauze and toilet paper over my cuts, before covering them with medical tape. By now, Andy was trying to call me. I hung up on him instead, before something prompted me to check my messages. Most of them read some variant of my name. One said Don't do it, the next said, PLZ, then after a minute :(

Finally, one read, If u dnt answer Im callin ambulance

Holy shit, this wasn't good.

I called him back the moment I read that. He picked up on the first ring. "You didn't call an ambulance, did you?" was the first thing out of my mouth, not even hell, I was that worked up over this. "DO I have to call one" He asked me. The tone in his voice said he wouldn't hesitate to call one this instant.

"No!" I said, probably too fast. "You didn't do anything, did you?" He asked. I knew that depending on what I said, this could go one of two ways. I don't think saying yes would be too conducive to my health, so I said "No."

"You sure?" He gave me a last chance to tell the truth. I could tell by the tone of his voice that he didn't believe me. "Andy..." I practically whined. He sighed, before saying, "How bad is it?"

"I t-told you, I didn't do anything." I squeaked, falling over my own words. I didn't want him finding out about this, considering the fact that he had ignored me for a few months well after the last incident like this, and me and him were only now just barely speaking again.

"Keep lying to me, and you know what I'll do." He said warningly, before adding, "Ashley Purdy, if you don't tell me the fucking truth this instant, I swear that I'll do everything I did last time, and worse."

Last time, he took all my blades, and my booze, and didn't talk to me for a few months, wouldn't even look at me at school. While the first two of those pissed me off, the last two hurt even more. Yeah, I'm a fucking attention whore, who hates feeling invisible all the time, deal with it. And by worse, he meant that he would drag me to a psych ward, checked me in, and made sure I took the damned pills. I was terrified of those places, and wasn't keen on going back any time soon, so this terrified the shit out of me.

Even though I saw him for the asshole that he was, I still got an odd contact high from him. It was damn near scary.

"Ashley." He said, bringing me out of my thoughts. "I'm sorry!" Was all I managed, before I broke down, sobbing hysterically.

"I'll be there, 15 minutes tops. Don't do anything til then." He said. Then, the line went dead. The only way that he was going to make it here in 15 minutes was if he ran like his very life depended on it. The thing was, I don't think that I ever meant that much to him.