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Okay kids, this is a revamp. So I'm editing as I go along. Just stick with me it'll get better. Promise. Now leave me lots of reviews. They make my heart smile!

Chpt 1: Thus is the problem.

Sometimes I wish life were a little less complicated. But that won't happen, will it? The simple truth is; I'm in love with Patrick. Too bad he hasn't got a clue. Sometimes I seriously question his intelligence. I mean its not like I've made it anything less than obvious. Subtly is not my area of expertise.

"Ane (Annie)!" Jillian yelled, she's my sister. Unfortunately.

"Coming." I called back to her from my room, where I am currently stationed. Sighing I pushed myself off the bed and walked into the living room of the small apartment she and I share. Well, it's Patrick's apartment. While I actually live here, Jillian just makes it her business to check in on me and stay. Damn her for being born four years before me.

She's Pete's age, born in October of the same year. . I'm only twenty-one , the baby of the entire clan. Even Joe has me beat by a year.

"Anemarie Blaire Harris!" Jil called to me again.

"Damnit Jilly I'm coming!" I said as I rounded the corner into the living room.

"Finally," She said from her perch in Patrick's overstuffed armchair, " lover boy called. The tour ends in a week."

My eyes were a dead give away to my level of elation. I know this from the look she is now giving me. Its that one, pity mixed with annoyance.

"Seems like they've been gone forever." I said, plopping on the sofa across from her.


Somewhere on the road a week's travel from Wilmette

"Patrick!" Joe taunted, "How exactly do you plan to tell Ane that you met a girl?"

"I'm just going to tell her, Joe. Why would she care?"

"Don't tell me you can't see how painfully obvious it is the girl likes you." Pete said coming into the small kitchenette area.

"Ok then, I won't."

Pete sighed in aggravation and walked back to the lounge area pulling out his cell phone. He'd tell her. Someone had to and Patrick was oblivious to damage the news could cause.

The phone rang from its place next to Jill, shattering the comfortable silence we'd been sharing. .

"Yeah, hang on. It's for you Ane, Pete I think." She said tossing me the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey Ane my love... how ya doin'?" Pete said, I could hear the sad smile in his voice. It was the same tone he used when he told me that my cat got run over.

"What's wrong Pete?" I asked avoiding his question. Knowing that tone all too well.

"Huh? Nothing, can't I call my favorite kid once in a while without getting the third degree?"

"No. Now, the truth. Please."

"Ugh," he sighed, "Well...it's Patrick."

"Is something wrong? What happened?"

"Nothing happened. This isn't how I wanted you to find out Ane. And I know it's going to hurt you."

"So, just say it. Making me wait only makes it worse."

"Ok, here goes nothing. Patrick, well he met someone Ane."

Met someone? My mouth hung open. This is not exactly what I had expected him to say. And I'm not sure why it's such a shock. I mean Patrick's a great guy, not to mention famous. But its a shock nonetheless. The phone slipped from my hand, catching Jilly's attention. She looked up, my face was still frozen slack jawed. This is not an attractive look. She grabbed the phone; I could faintly hear Pete yelling in attempt to get my attention.

"What the hell did you say to her, Pete?" Jilly asked poking my shoulder as I regained composure. This shouldn't be affecting me the way that it is. Oh well. I can be brave, I hope.

I sat there for a moment processing as Jilly continued to listen while Pete told her the news. I blinked a few more times; this is what I wanted right? For him to be happy, I know that's not true. I want him to be happy with me.

I stood up and took the phone back from Jilly, "Hey Pete, sorry bout that. Kind of caught me off guard I guess."

"Understandable, I just wanted to give you fair warning before we get home." He said with a slight, sad laugh before the phone was snatched from him.

"ANE!" Andy screamed into the phone.

"I miss you too Andy." I laughed as I walked into the kitchen for a glass of tea.

"Good, then I get a hug when you pick us up?"

"Of course! How could I not hug my favorite drummer?"

"I thought you said Bob was your favorite." Which I had when I'd visited them on the road a month ago.

"I didn't mean it though; I was just being nice to him. You know I like you better." I said in the most convincing tone I could muster.

"Goo...," Andy's voice trailed off, "Hello Ane!" and was replaced with Joe's.

"What is this? Pass Ane around night?"

"Perhaps." I swear I could almost see him doing his Mr. Burns impression, but I did my best not to laugh.

"God, I feel like such a whore." I said, then heard more shuffling. There were only two options on the other end. Pete or Patrick.

"Hey Ane." Patrick said in a calm and low voice.

"Hi Patrick," I sighed, "How goes it ?"

"Good I guess," I could hear the distance in his voice, it was growing. I don't want that. I want to stop it.

"Well, you know how it goes here...heh...work, home, sleep...work." My voice was quiet, I'm almost afraid to speak to him. It makes me feel like he's slipping right through my fingers, but I know he's still there.

"Yeah," He's pulling on the hem of his shirt and biting his bottom lip. I can't see him, but I know. I just know. I know him. He knows me. Everything, well almost everything.

"Don't bite your lip, you'll make it bleed." I smiled through the forming tears. He laughed softly, that gentle laugh, the one no one ever hears.

"Don't cry, your make up will run." He says, I hate that he can see right through me even when he can't see me. But I love that too, I love that someone cares enough to know me so well.

"Ok." But it was too late, the tears had spilled. Warm and salty.

He sighs sadly and there's a pause, "Blood tastes bitter." I cry a little harder and forget that Jil is in the other room. I want to forget everything but him and this moment.

"This is bitter Patrick." I say unaware of the catch in my voice. The silence on the other end lingers, then we say our good-byes and I'm handed back to Pete.

I clear my throat, "Bye Pete. Love you."

"Love you too." He echoes and the line goes dead. And I feel dead.