FicWad

I'm over and done
Let me just get my gun
Raise it to my head
Pull the trigger and fall down
Down to hell and beyond.

You never cared, you never listened
You never saw the way my eyes never glistened
They didn't sparkle with pure joy
All they did were destroy
Destroy the ones around me
Brought them down
Made them mad

Why am I such a fuck up?
Can't I do anything right?
No, that's the answer.
Always was.
Stupid is also another answer.
I guess I'm so stupid I give you cancer.

What?
What so wrong?
Why is you face so long?
You read what you see and seem surprised.
I though I was obvious, maybe you just oblivious
Disguise my pain with a grin, that all you need, reassurance, to make sure I'm okay
But in the words of the music, I'm not o-fucking- Kay.

Now only you know, the true pain i feel.
I know you have felt it too.
But not to my extreme.
You tell me I shouldn't do it.
It's addicting you say?
I might as well give it a try, it's calling for me all the time.
It's a burning, stinging sensation
Call for me to pick it up, slide it across and let the red flow down.
I know what you said, but is it really what you meant?

I can't believe anyone anymore
I just don't know.
I don't need help
I just need a friend
Maybe I need the reassurance
But that still doesn't make me okay.

Never have I ever been fine.
Never will I ever be okay.
But I guess I can hold on until May.

What's May you say?
May is the day, the day of my dissapearance.
I'll be gone an forgotten.
You will all be happy.
But for now I'll wait wait until May.

So ta-ta for now.
--

Erm.

Abbie xx