Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance

Ho Ho Ho, Merry F*cking Christmas (Frerard)

by ItsM0llyBitch 2 reviews

Frank is a scrooge, sick of spending Christmas alone, but after a visit from an angry man in a red suit, will he find the angel for the top of his tree? Warning: Strong language

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Humor,Romance - Characters: Frank Iero,Gerard Way - Warnings: [X] - Published: 2012-12-15 - Updated: 2012-12-15 - 2292 words - Complete


I shuffle on the couch, teeth chattering, hands shaking in my freezing cold living room. I walk over to the thermostat and push it up to tropical heat before returning to my seat and pulling a thick blanket over me for the time being. I start to flick through channels, angrily pushing the ‘Channel Down’ button as clips of Band Aid, Wizzard and all the usual Christmas shit fills every channel I land on. I finally give up, realising I can’t escape the horrid event two weeks from now.

“Christmas sucks” I grumble, staring daggers at the television that is spreading bright red and greens around the darkened room, Richard Attenborough’s voice pouring into my ears as A Miracle On 34th Street drones on. I sigh heavily and carry on glaring at the television.

“Oh shit, here we go again” I hear a hoarse voice boom through my fireplace, making me jump up off of the couch.

“What the-” I question before being cut off by the sound of painful groans and loud bangs getting closer. I stare at the fireplace, anticipating a really stupid burglar. I slowly reach underneath my couch and grab a baseball bat and make my way over to the entrance of the fireplace, wincing at the painful clangs of metal against bricks, as the intruder gets closer. I raise my bat high above my head, ready to attack at any moment. Suddenly, a fat man with a tangled white beard and a bright red suit lands in a crumpled heap at my feet, mumbling obscenities.

“Fucking hell, ever heard of a grate?! Are you trying to fucking kill me?! And you can forget about trying to attack me with that bat you dick” The strange man exclaims. I slowly lower my bat as he stands up, growling angrily and trying to rub dust off of his suit “Jesus Christ, this is silk, do you know how hard it is to get dust off of silk? Well obviously not, look at you” He finishes, gesturing to my Misfits t-shirt and jeans with holes in the knees.

“What the-? Who are-?” I cut myself off, trying to think of the right words while simultaneously trying to convince myself I am not in a dream.

“Morgan Freeman, who do you think?” I continue to stare at him, now even more confused than before. He sighs heavily and rolls his eyes “I’m Santa Claus you twat” He snaps, walking over to the couch and collapsing on it heavily. I rub my head and walk over to the couch, collapsing down near him but keeping distance between us.

“Why are you here?” I ask

“Because you are a grumpy shit who is ruining Christmas” He replies bluntly, looking at me seriously.

“How am I ruining Christmas?” I protest “I can’t be bringing anybody’s mood down, there’s never anyone here to do that”

“You are ruining Christmas because you are making my job hard, and I don’t like that. Plus, all your friend Ray does is worry about you” He pauses “Haven’t a fucking clue why”

“Thanks” I reply sarcastically, flipping him off “You can go now” I say, folding my arms across my chest and looking away from him.

“Oh believe me, there is nothing I would want more, but first I have to tell you something, that’s the reason I’m here” He says, sighing heavily and wiping his face with his sleeve.

“Fine” I reply, looking towards him. He sits forward, coming to the edge of the couch and looks me dead in the eye before explaining.

“Well, I know for a fact you are so fucking grumpy around Christmas because you always spend it alone, so I thought it would be nice to send a good piece of dick or gash your way” He says crudely without even cracking a smile

“Ok…” I urge him to continue

“So, in the next week, someone new will start talking to you and they will be set on sticking around for quite a while. They will have no idea that I got good old cupid to shoot them when they lay eyes on you and that little guy is a psychic so you will definitely like them back. I can’t specify gender, age or whether or not they are a munter, but you have to take this opportunity to finally have someone around at Christmas instead of pushing them away, Cupid has one arrow with your name on it, that’s one chance” He explains, standing up and walking towards the front door.

“Wait, don’t you go up the chimney?” I question

“Who do you think I am? Spider-Man?! Jesus Christ, get a grip man” He mumbles angrily, slamming the door behind him and stamping down the path, his heavy boots crunching in the snow beneath them. In a faint voice, I hear him add “Ho ho ho, merry fucking Christmas”


I zip up my hoodie hastily and walk out into the burning cold, practically running to Starbucks since I ran out of coffee. I slam the front gate shut and wander down the sidewalk, my pace slowing as I think back to last night, Santa’s words ringing in my ears

“You have to take this opportunity to finally have someone around at Christmas instead of pushing them away, Cupid has one arrow with your name on it, that’s one chance”

He’s such a dick, but he’s right, I do push people away and this may be my last chance and I do hate to be a burden on Ray. I’m still not convinced that whoever Cupid’s going to shoot is going to be who I want it to be though. I try and forget about the situation, especially since I don’t even know when it’s going to happen, I know this week but WHEN? By the time I have stopped questioning the situation, I am outside of Starbucks. I pull the door open and the heat in the room and the strong smell of coffee hits me as I walk over to join the back of the queue. I stare at the board, contemplating what to buy. My eyes dart right to Americano and I settle on that. Simple, black coffee is what I need right now. I hand over the money to the woman behind the counter and stand, waiting for my coffee.

I start to look around the room, looking at the pictures of nearby bridges on the wall and paintings being sold by new artists. I see people typing furiously on laptops, laughing with their friends. Then there’s him. That fine specimen of man right in the corner. He sits gazing out of his hazel eyes around the room, his head leaning on his hand as strands of bright red hair fall into his eyes. Beautiful.

“Frank” The woman calls. The man’s head looks up, catching my eye. I smile to him and he smiles back, his pale cheeks tingeing pink. I look over to the woman, remembering she had just called my name “Here’s your coffee” She smiles, sliding the coffee over the counter

“Thank you” I say, grabbing the coffee and walking away. I hesitate slightly, wondering whether or not to talk to him. I can’t, if Cupid shot him, he would have come over. I continue to walk and yank the door open, stepping back into the cold and turning down the sidewalk back to my house. I walk, my mind never getting rid of the image of that man. Why couldn’t it have been him?

I fumble in my pocket to find my keys, unlocking my door and stepping back into the warmth. I sigh heavily and throw my empty cup into the trash, unzip my hoodie and pull it off, throwing it over the kitchen chair. I slip my feet out of my shoes and walk to the living room, collapsing onto the couch. I sigh heavily and hope to god that someone just as good is shot by Cupid’s arrow while I’m at Ray’s party tonight, it’d be even better if it were actually him.


I knock heavily on the door of Ray’s house as music spills out of the window and drums make the ground vibrate.

“HEY!” Ray shouts as he opens the door, smiling widely “Come on in, join the party, it’s just getting started” I walk in and see the classic party scene, people drinking and dancing in the middle of the room. Ray offers me a beer and I take it, walking into the living room and saying hi to people I haven’t seen in a while. I make my way around the room until I stop suddenly. I look into the corner to see the guy from earlier, leaning on the wall casually, hands in his pockets and head nodding slightly to the beat of the music. I think about walking over but think back and realise Santa said nothing about approaching anyone. I suppose if he is the one I’m looking for, I just have to wait it out.

I walk into the crowd of people and start to dance, shouting along to Run To The Hills and catching up with old friends. Eventually, claustrophobia gets the better of me and I back away to the outskirts of the crowd but people are scattered around the room anyway, some making out, some just dicking around. I continue to sing to the music when I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn around and see the guy standing in front of me.

“You’re Frank right?” He asks

“Sure is, what’s your name?” I ask, shouting slightly so he can hear me over the music

“I’m Gerard, I’m sorry I just saw you earlier and I just knew I had to get to know you” A flash of excitement runs through me. He wants to get to know me; maybe Cupid has done his job.

“Well, would you like to dance? Or mosh I suppose?” I say, making him giggle

“I’d love to” He grabs my hand and leads me into a space amongst the crowd and we start to sway along with everyone else. We comment on the song occasionally but mostly dance in silence, the music too loud to be heard over anyway.

Gerard gets closer and closer until our chests are millimetres apart, I can feel his warm breath on my nose and his hands slide up to my hips. I place my hands on his shoulders, sliding them up to his neck when I know I can’t take it anymore. Gerard is looking me right in the eyes when I pull him closer and place my lips tenderly on his. His hands move to the bottom of my back and I can feel him pull me closer as he our lips start to work together slowly, perfectly. I start to walk backwards, pulling Gerard with me until I reach the wall. Gerard leans back into me, kissing me desperately as the beat of the song gets faster. I feel him pulling away. He smirks at me and grabs my hand, leading me upstairs.

We walk into the spare room, closing the door behind us. Gerard pushes me down onto the bed and sits carefully on my lap, continuing to kiss me messily. I lay down, pulling Gerard with me and place my hands on his waist, squeezing slightly when a shot of pleasure runs through me. My cheeks flush as Gerard attacks my neck, placing kisses along my jaw and working his way down before sucking my neck, making me moan quietly. I feel Gerard’s breath against my skin as he giggles. He reaches up and places one more kiss on my lips before shuffling down my body to kneel in front of me on the floor and I know what’s coming next.

He unhooks my belt, undoes the button on my jeans and unzips them with his teeth before sliding them and my boxers down to the floor. I wipe my face with my hands, anticipating Gerard’s next move when a shudder gets sent up my spine as I feel Gerard’s mouth close around my tip and work his way down, using his tongue creatively. I clutch the sheets as he continues, my breathing getting heavier as I get closer to the edge. A moan escapes my mouth as I release into Gerard’s mouth and he swallows it all. He stands up, swaying slightly and collapses next to me. I stand up, almost falling over from my shaking knees and pull up my jeans. When I sit back down, Gerard and I collapse back and lay down. He cuddles into my side and I put my arm around him, pulling him closer.

“So tell me about yourself” Gerard jokes, making me laugh. I think I have found the angel for the top of my tree.

A/N: Merry Christmas! I hope you enjoyed this little Frerard I did. This is the first smut I've done so please be nice because I felt incredibly awkward writing it even though I am so much more dirty minded anyway. I'm sorry if it was bad but I'm hoping I've read enough to educate myself on how to write it xD Please R&R and you will wake up Christmas day to see Mikey Way, wearing nothing but a bow, posing sexily under your tree and who wouldn't want that?
Molly x
Sign up to rate and review this story