FicWad

Chapter 3
I, Quistis Trepe
(Quistis)


A SeeD in full uniform set a cloth sack at Quistis’ feet, then turned and headed back towards the front gate. Quistis bent over and unknotted the top of the sack and looked inside.

“First aid kits,” Quistis said. She began pulling the white plastic boxes out of the bag and organizing them in stacks of five. When she’d emptied the bag, one stack was shorter than the others. “Twenty four in total,” she said.

Xu nodded, then wrote that figure down on her clipboard. “Twenty four first aid kits.” Using the end of her pen, she pointed at two cadets that were awaiting orders. “They go to the infirmary. Dr. Kadowaki will tell you where to put them.”

“Ma’am,” both cadets said. Quistis handed the empty bag to one of them, as the other began loading the kits back into it. When it was full, they carried the sack down the walkway towards the infirmary.

From down the hall, another uniformed SeeD approached, carrying two red fuel containers, one in each hand.

“I got fuel here,” he said.

“Set it by the directory,” Xu said, pointing to the large, colorful map of Balamb Garden that was a few paces behind her. “Is there any more?”

“Yeah,” the SeeD said. He grunted as he set the cans down. “Probably a whole ‘nother car full.”

“Bring it all out so that we can count it,” Xu said. “Then bring it to the parking lot.”

“Ma’am,” the SeeD said. He turned and headed back to the front gate.

Quistis looked down the hall and around her. Most of the items that had been brought in from outside had already been opened and inventoried, and the stream of SeeDs and cadets hauling in new supplies was becoming sparser and more intermittent. Those who were still working were mostly bringing in red gas cans and setting them down in a cluster by the directory.

“So, Quistis,” Xu said. She looked up from her clipboard. “Planning on applying for any of the admin positions?”

Quistis shrugged. She adjusted the collar of her uniform. “I’m not sure. I’ll wait until the complete list is up before I make up my mind.”

“C’mon, Q,” Xu said. “It’s a waste of your talents to be just a SeeD. You should at least look into being an instructor again.”

“I’ve thought about it,” Quistis said. She stepped over to a bag near the edge of the walkway. She unknotted the top and peered inside. She was confused for a moment when she saw only more cloth inside the bag, then she realized that it was new bed sheets for the dormitories. She counted them out and gave the tally to Xu. Another SeeD brought the sack to the dorms.

“How about you?” Quistis asked. “Applying for anything?”

“Already did,” Xu said. “Executive Supply Officer.”

Quistis raised an eyebrow. “You want to keep doing this inventory stuff?”

“It suits me,” Xu said. “And I’ve been doing it since Garden went mobile. I figured, you know, why not?”

A SeeD carrying gas tanks walked up to Xu. He set them down in the cluster of fuel tanks. “This is the last of them.”

Xu nodded. She added the total number of cans and marked it on her clipboard. “Thirty units of gasoline. Okay, bring it all to the parking lot. You know where they go?”

“Ma’am,” the SeeD said, nodding. He picked up some cans and, with the help of a few other SeeDs, began carrying them back to the parking lot.

“If that’s what you want,” Quistis said to Xu.

“There’s more to it than just doing inventory,” Xu said. “Besides, it looks good on a resume. Sounds very professional.”

“As if being a member of SeeD didn’t already look good enough,” Quistis said.

“Hey, prospective employers need to know that I can do more than just kick ass,” Xu said. “I can kick ass and take inventory.”

Quistis smiled.

There was a loud thump behind her that made her jump. She spun around to see Selphie standing in the walkway, her overstuffed duffel bag resting on the ground where she had dropped it. She looked out of place in her bright yellow civilian clothes, amidst a cloud of black and blue uniforms.

“Can I go yet?” Selphie asked.

“I hadn’t heard anything from the Headmaster,” Quistis said. Selphie sighed.

“And the Headmaster is the one you should be asking about this, not us,” Xu said. “We’re not in charge of releasing you.”

“But the Headmaster is busy,” Selphie said. “And you guys said you’d help me.”

“We’ve been inventorying the new supplies all morning, Selphie,” Quistis said.

“That’s not helping me at all!” Selphie said.

“Sorry, Selphie,” Xu said. “But getting you and Irvine to Trabia is not a big priority right now.”

“Why not?” Selphie asked. “We have important stuff to do too!”

Xu sighed. “The faster we finish inventory, the sooner we can help you.”

“Fine,” Selphie said. “I can help! What do you need?”

“We need someone to dispose of the empty crates and bags,” Xu said. “They’re starting to block the walkway.”

“Gotcha,” Selphie said. She picked up all the stray bags littering the floor and tossed them into a nearby wooden crate. Then she bent over and picked up the crate, leaning back and balancing it on her chest. It was bulky, but since it was only stuffed with straw and cloth bags, it was lightweight. “Where d’ya want it?”

“The dumpsters outside,” Xu said.

Selphie turned and headed out towards the front gate, leaving a trail of straw behind her.

The previous afternoon, the Garden had docked in its usual spot: a giant crater where it had sat for years before becoming mobile. Selphie had been under the impression that she and Irvine were free to go as soon as they made land. They’d been halfway to the front gate, bags slung over their shoulders, before Xu found them and stopped them.

There was no precedent for an ambassador to Trabia, and the details of the position had not been formally worked out or agreed upon. Furthermore, Quistis still had objections about whether or not it was wise to send them away at all. While her opinion was respected and heard, it was not heeded. The Headmaster agreed to write up the contract as quickly as possible, but one thing led to another, and now it was almost twenty-four hours later and there still was no contract.

During that time, Selphie had been relentless, carrying her duffel bag with all her possessions everywhere she went, as if she would only had a few seconds to leave the Garden once she’d been given the signal. She complained to anyone who would listen, hoping someone would be able to authorize her release. Even Irvine, who normally shadowed her everywhere, had gotten bored and wandered off to wait until someone called him.

(I wonder if she even slept last night.)

Selphie worked like a machine, removing the crates one by one until the hallway was cleared.

“Done,” Selphie said. She wiped a thin haze of sweat from her forehead. “Can we go now?”

Xu was busy writing notes on her clipboard. “Okay, we got everything we need and then some. We’ll have to send out another group to get some more stuff in a day or two, but all the urgent supplies are here.”

“That’s good,” Quistis said.

“Hey!” Selphie said. She waved her arms. “Does that mean we’re done?”

“Yes, Selphie,” Xu said with a smile. “We’re done with inventory. We’ll go with you to talk to the Headmaster. We’re heading that way anyway.”

“Yes! Finally!” Selphie said.

“There’s no guarantee that we’ll be able to speed up the process though,” Quistis said.

“Don’t be such a downer, Quisty,” Selphie said. She walked towards the main elevator. On the way, she picked up her duffel bag and slung it over her shoulder. Quistis and Xu followed a pace behind.

“Selphie, mind if I ask you a question?” Quistis asked.

“Shoot,” Selphie said, glancing over her shoulder.

“Why do you want to go to Trabia so badly?” Quistis asked. “Aren’t you happy here?”

“I’m happy!” Selphie said. She smiled broadly. “I really like it here. I’m just… I think there’s more I can do in Trabia than here, you know?”

“Follow-up question,” Quistis said. She raised the corners of her mouth into a smile. “Why does Irvine want to go so badly?”

Selphie gulped. She climbed the steps up to the elevator. She arrived and pushed the button to call the next car. Quistis stood next to Selphie, still smiling. Xu stood behind her, smirking as well.

“It’s um…” Selphie said. “He just wants to help. And it’s not like he can go back to Galbadia anymore.”

Xu and Quistis exchanged a glance. “That’s it?” Xu asked. “He just wants to help?”

“I don’t know what Irvine thinks,” Selphie said. “I can’t read minds. He said he wanted to go with, so he’s going with. I didn’t ask why.”

“But Trabia isn’t his home,” Quistis said. “You’re the only reason he’d want to go.”

With a hum and a ding, the elevator arrived.

“ELEVATOR’S HERE!” Selphie shouted. The doors opened, and she almost leapt inside. Xu and Quistis followed her in. The doors shut behind them and Selphie pushed the button for the third floor.

“You didn’t really answer my question,” Quistis said.

“No talking in the elevators!” Selphie said. “Do I have to report you?”

“That’s not a Garden rule,” Xu said. “The library, classrooms, and Cid’s office are the only places where speaking rights are limited.”

“Be honest. Are you and Irvine getting serious?” Quistis asked.

Selphie adjusted her duffel bag strap on her shoulder. Quistis could see that the fingers of her free hand were fidgeting. Selphie sighed, her voice dropping to a normal, soft tone.

“No,” Selphie said. “We’re just friends. Irvine is nice… but he’s just a friend.”

“Really?” Xu said.

“Honest!” Selphie said, her voice cracking.

(You two seem like a lot more than just friends.)

Quistis decided not to press the issue.

The elevator dinged again and arrived at the third floor. The doors opened up into a red-carpeted receiving room. Directly ahead of the elevator doors was an ornately-carved set of golden double doors that led into Cid’s office. Lining the walls next to the door were a handful of red leather chairs where students could sit until the Headmaster was ready to admit them.

Once Balamb had become mobile, Squall and his friends had received something of a standing invitation to Cid’s office. Still, Xu chose to knock on the doors out of courtesy. Cid’s voice called, “Come in!” from inside. Xu pushed open the doors and the three stepped inside.

The Headmaster’s office was a wide, marble-floored room with a domed glass ceiling, allowing the sunlight to pour in. Dominating the middle of the room was a massive steel pillar, atop which was the Garden’s mobile control center and bridge. The bridge stopped only a short distance from the glass ceiling. A small lift—barely more than a metal slab—jutted out from the side of the pillar, ready to bring personnel from up from Cid’s office to the bridge.

Next to the pillar was Cid’s desk, a blonde wooden desk covered in papers. Cid sat hunched over his desk, scribbling something on a paper. His wife, Edea, leaned over his shoulder, reading another paper on his desk.

Selphie crossed the marble floor, her boots thumping and echoing. She dropped her duffel bag with a crash, then saluted the Headmaster. Xu and Quistis stood on either side of Selphie and also saluted.

“At ease,” the Headmaster said. He looked over his glasses at the three girls. They relaxed their stances. “How’s the resupply going, Xu?”

“It’s done, Headmaster,” Xu said. “We were able to procure all the supplies on our list, plus some additional luxuries, and we’re still slightly under budget. A few of our SeeDs were able to buy direct from the shippers, which saved us quite a bit of money.”

“Excellent,” Cid said. “May I see the report?”

Xu stepped forward and put her clipboard on the table. She stepped back in line with Quistis and Selphie while Cid skimmed over her chart. Selphie began to bounce on the toes of her boots. Edea finished reading the paper on Cid’s desk and smiled at the girls.

“Very good,” Cid said, putting the clipboard to the side. He noticed Selphie’s behavior and raised an eyebrow. “Is there something you would like to ask, Selphie?”

“Umm… I just wanted to know if you were done writing up our contract,” Selphie said. “So that Irvine and me could leave. For Trabia. As ambassadors. Like we said. Headmaster. Please?”

“As a matter of fact,” Cid said. He searched through his papers. “Ah, here it is. Yes, I have both of your contracts written up. If you would just read and sign them…”

“WOO-HOO!” Selphie said. She bounded to Cid’s desk. “You got a pen?”

Cid pulled back the contracts and eyed Selphie. “I said read and sign them. Not just grab the nearest pen and scribble your name on them thoughtlessly. You are official
Ambassadors for Balamb Garden, and I want you to fully understand the duties and expectations we demand of you. You will conduct yourself in a manner befitting to SeeD. Understood?”

Selphie cleared her throat and straightened up. She saluted again, crisply. “Yes, Headmaster. Sorry, Headmaster.”

“The contracts specifically state that this arrangement can be canceled by me at any time, for any reason,” Cid said. “So you two had better behave yourselves if you want to keep your positions.”

“Yes, Headmaster,” Selphie said. The Headmaster nodded, and she bent over and began reading her contract.

Sometimes it was easy to forget that Selphie was a SeeD. With her seemingly infinite energy and low discipline, she could pass as an ordinary, hyperactive teenage girl. But standing there, her eyes and body focused and alert, Quistis was reminded how determined and professional she could be, when she chose.

(It’s almost like there’s two Selphies.)

Behind them, they could hear the elevator ding. A few seconds later, the door opened just a crack. Quistis and Xu turned to look, and saw Zell’s blonde hair and tattooed face poking through the open door. His eyes widened in surprise when he saw everyone in the room. He started to back out.

“Sorry,” he said. “I’ll come back later.”

“No, it’s fine,” Cid said. He waved him in. “Come in, Zell.”

Zell pushed open the door and crossed the room, stopping alongside Quistis and Xu. He saluted quickly. He looked around at the situation, and saw Selphie leaning over Cid’s desk, intently reading the paper in front of her.

“Oh, Selphie’s contract is finished?” Zell asked.

“Yep!” Selphie said. She looked over her shoulder and smiled at Zell. “Finally going to Trabia!”

Zell smiled back and gave her a thumbs-up. “Well, good luck to ya!”

“Thanks!” She returned to the contract.

“Selphie,” Quistis said. “I don’t want to tell you what to do, but I really think you should consider staying. At least for a little while. You can always go to Trabia later.”

“Quistis!” Selphie said, turning around. “You’re supposed to be helping me! That’s what I brought you here for!”

“I just think there’s a lot of confusion at Garden still,” Quistis said. “The past few weeks have been very hectic and disorganized. I think we should get everything in order and make sure everyone’s on the same page before we start sending people away.”

“That’s what you’ve been sayin’,” Selphie said. “But Trabia needs help too. And I’m gonna help them.”

Quistis sighed. She shrugged. “Well, I had to say something.”

Selphie turned back to her contract. Cid watched her for a moment, then spoke up.

“Selphie, was there anything else you wished to discuss besides the contract?” he asked.

“No, not really,” Selphie said.

“Okay then. No sense in reading it all right here,” Cid said. “Take your contract and Irvine’s. Make sure that you both read them thoroughly and agree with all the points. Then sign them and return them to me. Once you’ve done that, then I will release you to Trabia. Understood?”

Selphie saluted again. “Yes, Headmaster.”

“You are dismissed,” Cid said.

Selphie spun around, snatching up the two contracts in one hand. She picked up her duffel bag and went at a near sprint for the elevator. A second later, the elevator dinged, admitting Selphie inside, and she was gone in search of Irvine.

The Headmaster turned to Xu and Quistis. “Was there anything else you two were meaning to discuss?”

Quistis shook her head. “Nothing as of now, Headmaster.”

“Actually,” Xu said, “Quistis is interested in seeing what positions are available in administration.”

Quistis opened her mouth to object, but decided against it.

(No harm in at least seeing what’s available, I guess.)

“Uh, I’m here about that too,” Zell said, raising his right hand a little bit. “I just wanted to see what’s open, you know? I don’t know if I’ll take anything yet.”

“Excellent,” Cid said. He clapped his hands once and leaned forward. “Edea and I haven’t compiled the full list yet, I’m afraid. We’re restructuring SeeD a bit. Some jobs need to be removed, others need to be created. You understand. But we were hoping that you—both of you—would express interest in administrative jobs. We have specifically set aside two positions for you two. If you accept these positions now, they’re yours. If you decline, we will post them along with the rest of the available staff positions, and someone else will take the jobs. Are you interested in hearing about them?”

“Of course,” Quistis said.

“Yeah!” Zell said.

“All right,” Cid said. “Zell, let’s start with you. Squall’s report of the incident at the D-District Prison in Galbadia—to which you two were present—has revealed a flaw in our training.”

“Headmaster?” Zell said, wrinkling his forehead in confusion.

Cid continued. “We have spent a great deal of time encouraging diversity in weapon specialization, to increase our overall strength and capabilities. However, in situations where SeeDs are unable to use their weapons or their magic, then hand-to-hand combat is essential. Therefore, we are going to instate a mandatory hand-to-hand combat training course for all cadets, and we would like you to head up that class, as a Combat Instructor.”

Zell pointed to himself. “Me? Combat Instructor?”

“Of course,” Cid said. “You’ll have to pass the requisite Instructor’s test, as well as a follow-up to ensure that you are skilled enough to handle the position. But I doubt either of those will be a problem for you.”

“Yeah…” Zell said, scratching the back of his head. “Heh… tests. My favorite.”

“Do you accept?” Cid asked.

“I don’t know if I’m the guy for the job,” Zell said. He shifted his weight. “I mean, I know a lot about fightin’, but I don’t know if I’m really a teacher type…”

“I can help you with that,” Quistis said. “In my experience, knowledge of the material is the most important thing. If you understand the material and try your hardest, you’ll learn the rest. Don’t worry. “

“Umm… sure, I guess,” Zell said. “I’ll still get to go on missions, right? Or at least get outside every now and then. I don’t wanna be in Garden all the time. No offense.”

“Like Squall said yesterday morning,” Cid said, “You’re all going to be SeeDs first. When missions come up, we will give them to the SeeDs most able to accomplish them. So, yes, you will still have opportunities to join in missions.”

“All right,” Zell said. “Sounds like a deal.”

“We’ll go over the details in a moment,” Cid said. “Quistis, I have a special job offer for you.”

“I’d like to hear it, Headmaster,” Quistis said. She adjusted her feet and straightened herself up.

“Right now there is a very large authority gap between Squall and the rest of SeeD,” Cid said. “That is a poor long-term model for running any army or military organization. Should Squall be indisposed for whatever reason, he has no clear successor. So Edea and I are working on creating incremental steps between ordinary SeeDs and the SeeD Commander. One of these positions will be that of Lieutenant Commander, which I offer to you.”

Quistis gaped. “Lieutenant Commander?” she said. “You mean, second in command to Squall?”

“Exactly,” Cid said.

“That’s… that’s more than I was expecting, Headmaster,” Quistis said. She cleared her throat and glanced at Xu. “I would think Xu would be a better choice, wouldn’t you?”

“I’m actually the one who recommended you,” Xu said. “When I signed up to be Executive Supply Officer, they were talking about potential candidates for the job, and I said you should be at the top of the list.”

(So she knew about the job before she even brought me here…)

“And I heartily agree with Xu’s recommendation,” Cid said.

“But… Headmaster,” Quistis said. She struggled to find the words to express her thoughts. No words came to mind, but the image of her alone, with all of Garden watching her, waiting for her command, kept forcing its way into her mind. “I was released from my Instructor duties only a few weeks ago. And now you offer me the position of second in command for all of SeeD? I-I don’t see how… It doesn’t make sense.”

“The decision to fire you was not mine,” Cid said. He leaned back in his chair. “And I opposed it as best I could. NORG and the Garden Faculty were the ones who thought you were unfit to be an Instructor, not me. And believe me when I say your dismissal was for political reasons, not because of anything you did or did not do.”

“Political reasons?” Quistis said.

“Yes,” Headmaster Cid said. He sighed. “Things between NORG and I were getting ugly long before the internal battle broke out in Garden. He thought that you had too many fans among the student body, and that you would not be… I believe he used the word ‘obedient.’ So he dismissed you to ruin your credibility.”

(Fans among the students? What is he… Oh…)

“You mean the Trepies?” Quistis said. She shrugged. “They’re just a little fan club.”

“NORG didn’t see it that way, I’m afraid,” Cid said. “He saw organizations like that to be a threat to his power base. He even had his eye on the Garden Festival Club, if you can believe it.” Cid chuckled, but no one else in the room joined him. He cleared his throat and continued. “He wanted total control over Garden. NORG was quite paranoid in his last days. And you were, I’m sorry to say, a casualty of his delusions.”

“I see…” Quistis said.

Her thoughts ran over the implications of what she’d been told. And with each thought, with
each mental connection, a new emotion rose within her. She didn’t know if she was angry, hurt, offended, ashamed, or disappointed. Somehow, she was all of those things at once, and yet none of them at the same time. Nor did she know where to direct those feelings. At NORG, for dismissing her? At herself, for not being stronger? At Cid, for being unable to stop it?

She could understand being dismissed for her failures. When the Garden Faculty had told her that she was being dismissed for her lack of leadership, she had accepted their decision. It had been painful, but understandable. But then to learn that there was no reason, that she had lost her position and her dreams because of the former Garden Master’s fear and jealousy? It didn’t make sense.

“Man, NORG was evil,” Zell said. “I can’t believe we never knew about this stuff before.”

Cid waved his hand. “NORG and the Garden Faculty are in the past,” he said. “Now things are as they should be. It is my decision that matters, and I believe you would be a great person to have as Lieutenant Commander, in part because of your fan club. People who have fan clubs are people who naturally inspire followers. These students go out of their way just to show their admiration of you. That is a rare thing.”

Quistis came out of her head for a moment to reply to the Headmaster. “To be honest…” she said. “I would have been happy just taking an Instructor position again. Or maybe something like Xu’s position. But… Lieutenant Commander? That is so much more than I was hoping for.”
“Maybe more than you were hoping for,” Cid said, “But not, I believe, more than you are capable of.”

(I don’t know if I can do this.)

(Is this how Squall felt?)

“Can I be given time to think about it?” Quistis asked.

Cid waved his hand. “Of course. I ask only that you return to me with a decision in the next few days or so. I’d like to begin preparing you—or someone else, if you refuse—while we still have some relative peace and quiet in the world.”

“Yes, Headmaster,” Quistis said, bowing slightly.

“I think your dismissal hurt your self-image,” Xu said. “You doubt yourself too much, Q.”

“Yeah, Quistis,” Zell said. “I mean, if I can be a Combat Instructor, then you can be Lieutenant Commander no problem.”

“You are greater than you think you are,” Edea said. “Believe in yourself.”

Quistis smiled at her friends, and sighed gently.

(But sometimes… wisdom means knowing when not to step forward.)

“Thank you for the opportunity,” Quistis said. “I’m honored. I’m just…”

Cid nodded sympathetically. “I understand,” he said. “Think it over. You’ll realize you’re ready. I’m sure of it. Now, if there’s no more business to attend to, I’d like to brief Zell on his position, and get his contract signed and all that busywork taken care of.”

Quistis and Xu saluted, then turned and left the office. As they left, Zell stepped forward to Cid’s desk and the Headmaster began filling him in on all the duties that would be expected of him. They entered the receiving area and shut the door behind them. Xu crossed the room, pushed the button to call an elevator, then looked at Quistis.

“I’m pretty sure the girl who traveled across time and saved the world from an all-powerful sorceress is good enough for SeeD’s second-in-command,” Xu said. “But hey, what do I know?”
Quistis grimaced and looked away. “Ultimecia wasn’t all-powerful,” she said. “And I wasn’t alone. The others helped me as much as I helped them.”

“Still,” Xu said. “Most other SeeDs brag for days after doing delivery and reconnaissance missions. No one can compete with your experiences. Not even me. I have no idea the type of things you’ve been through.”

The elevator arrived with a ding and opened its doors. The two stepped inside. Xu pushed the button for the first floor. After a moment, Quistis leaned over and pushed the button for the second floor.

“Not going with me for lunch?” Xu asked.

“Not hungry,” Quistis said. The elevator doors shut, and it began to move. “Also, I’d like to be alone for a bit.”

“You mean you don’t want me to keep telling you how great you’d be as Lieutenant Commander?”

“I’m sorry,” Quistis said. “But I’d like to make the decision on my own.”

Xu shrugged. “I understand.”

The elevator descended to the second floor. Quistis stepped out as soon as the doors opened. She turned around and smiled weakly. “Thank you for your support. It means a lot to me.”
Before the doors could close, Xu reached out a hand and held them open.

“Listen,” Xu said. “Before you go. The Headmaster didn’t want to say anything, I guess because he didn’t want to pressure you, but there’s a reason he’s been offering high ranking positions to you guys first, and why he’s been so willing to compromise with you.”

“I know,” Quistis said. “He trusts us. But there’s more to it than that. I can’t lead people just on trust alone.”

(And just because he trusts us, doesn’t mean he’s necessarily right to trust us.)

Xu shook her head and said, “Maybe the Headmaster can find someone who has more leadership experience than you. But you guys, you, Squall, and the others, you’ve been through a lot with the Headmaster and with Edea. He trusts you with his life, and he trusts you with Garden’s future. He knows that you share his vision of what Garden could be, what it should be. I know you’re not sure if you can hack it, but if you stand by and let someone else have all the power, then you may not like the decisions they make. That’s the way I see it.”

Xu stepped back into the elevator and released the glass door. It slid shut. Xu’s silhouette was just visible through the blue glass, holding Quistis’ gaze. The elevator sunk down to the first floor, leaving Quistis alone on the walkway.

She sighed.

Quistis walked forward, heading towards the room that used to be her classroom. The door leading inside was closed, the window peering in was darkened. She turned the knob, but of course, the door was locked. In all the rush and excitement of the past days, she’d forgotten than all of the classrooms were not in use and wouldn’t be until at least tomorrow. She stopped just outside the door and crossed her arms. The hallway was empty. It wasn’t as private as she wanted, but it was private enough.

She leaned her back against the wall and closed her eyes.

She regretted leaving Xu behind. Xu was doing nothing but trying to help her, and Quistis shrugged her off. Xu was a friend, but that was part of the problem. Because Xu was a friend, her opinion was colored. Was Quistis truly fit to lead, or did everyone think so only because they were her friends? Quistis couldn’t be sure.

(Lieutenant Commander Quistis Trepe…)

Only a few weeks ago, she would have accepted the offer instantly. It would have been the culmination of all of her hard work; the reward she’d been chasing for years. But things had changed.

She had joined SeeD in her early teens, showing immediate promise and earning high marks and high praise from her superiors. At only seventeen years of age, she became one of the youngest instructors in the history of SeeD, teaching classes on World History and SeeD Protocol to cadets.

In this time, she accrued a group of dedicated fans, called the “Trepies,” a play on her last name. Though she was flattered by this indirect compliment, she always held the suspicion that her fans singled her out for her physical appearance, rather than her mental or teaching acumen. She was only eighteen, and she knew her age and looks contributed to her popularity. In a field composed mostly of old or married men and women, a young, single instructor was bound to draw attention.

(Although there are a number of girls in my fan club too, so it can’t be all physical attraction…)

But after her rise to Instructor, everything seemed to stall. It felt as though she had reached the limit of her talent. She continued to learn and develop, and had been studying a new subject—Game Theory—with the intent of teaching it come the next semester, but that was it. After several consecutive years of constantly climbing upward, it seemed she had finally reached the top, only to find that the summit was lower than she’d hoped. The praise from her superiors was less frequent, awards and honors came rarely, if at all, and the size of her fan base plateaued at only a small core of devotees.

During this time, she’d been called into the main office, where a member of the Garden Faculty informed her that she had been dismissed as an Instructor, effective immediately. When she asked why, the staff member told her that she lacked leadership skills and had failed her duties as Instructor.

(But the Headmaster said…)

Yes. Cid told her that her dismissal was a political move on NORG’s part, not based on her performance, as she’d been led to believe. But regardless of the actual motive, she couldn’t ignore the possibility that the Garden Faculty had a point. Maybe she did lack leadership skills.

In her mind, a leader was a person who inspired others to follow, a person of great charisma and character who people naturally obeyed. Quistis would be lying to herself if she thought she was that person. She learned all the material presented to her, overcame all the obstacles put in her path, but she did so mechanically, systematically. Even her teaching style could be called robotic, moving quickly though the facts, then drilling the students with frequent quizzes and tests. It was effective, but it wasn’t inspiring.

But she had to admit, Squall did not fit her definition of a leader. He was not energetic or charismatic, yet people followed him, unquestioning. Maybe there was some intangible leadership quality that separated the great leaders from everyone else. A hidden force within their personalities that drove them beyond the sum of their experiences.

Maybe that was her problem. She had never been able to figure out the exact combination of characteristics that made Squall into the leader he became. If she couldn’t even understand why people obeyed Squall, how could she hope to repeat his success?

She sighed and looked down the hallway. Still empty.

She wished she could be someone else for a while, a few days, maybe a week. Not to escape her life or rid herself of her burdens, but so that she could view herself from the outside, impartial, as the rest of the world saw her. How different was the Quistis the world knew and the Quistis she thought she was?

(What do people really think of me?)

And so she stood in thought. She soon realized, though, that all her reflection was only delaying her inevitable choice. No matter how much time she devoted to considering the subject, she would never be able to see herself through another’s eyes. She would never know if the Headmaster saw her as she was, or as he wished she was. This was a problem she could not solve logically, and she would have to depend on her feelings to know how to act.
And her feelings told her that the Headmaster was wrong to believe in her.



The next morning, Quistis and Xu went to the cafeteria. For dietary reasons, the cafeteria workers refused to serve hot dogs for breakfast, despite the near constant demand for them. A few years back, there had been a bit of a war between the cafeteria and the student body over this rule. Students began hoarding hot dogs in their rooms, so that they could eat them the next morning. This resulted in unsanitary living conditions, multiple cases of food poisoning, and a hot dog shortage.

(And the dorms always smelled of hot dogs…)

After a number of unsuccessful attempts at cracking down on hot dog hoarding, the cafeteria workers finally reached a compromise, creating a breakfast dish of scrambled eggs, syrup, and diced hotdogs, which they called “Dogg Eggs.” The dish had resolved the issue in SeeD and stopped the hoarding, but Quistis had found both the name and the concept abhorrent and refused to even try them. Xu, an unrepentant hot dog addict, ordered a plate of Dogg Eggs, while Quistis had eggs and toast. With their respective plates in hand, the two found a table and sat down.

“You can’t have hot dogs every meal,” Quistis said. She looked at the ugly mess of syrupy yellow and brown chunks on Xu’s plate and shuddered.

“Been living off them for years now,” Xu said. “I haven’t died yet.”

“‘Yet’ being the key word here,” Quistis said.

“Be quiet and eat your eggs, Q,” Xu said. She shoved a forkful of Dogg Eggs into her mouth, a thin trail of syrup stretching from her fork to her plate. She licked her lip and the syrup string collapsed onto her plate. Quistis shuddered again. Xu smiled.

Every time that Quistis thought that SeeD was running out of things to do, Xu would pull out her list of objectives and reveal five, ten , or fifteen more things that needed to be done that day. The problems never seemed to end. Xu’s job as Executive Supply Officer bled into a number of other areas, especially since there was such a manpower shortage in SeeD. Xu had all her regular duties, plus she was frequently called in to help fill any gaps and perform any duties that no one else had time for.

Quistis felt a little guilty, having not taken an administration job yet, so she’d assigned herself as Xu’s assistant until she had a full time job herself. While she helped Xu, she took time to consider her job offer, but was no closer to sorting out her feelings. She realized that if she didn’t respond soon, the position would automatically go to someone else.

(Maybe that would be the best. Save me the trouble of having to refuse the position.)

No, that was unfair to the Headmaster and unprofessional behavior. Whatever her decision was, she needed to deliver it to the Headmaster herself, as soon as possible.

As the two were finishing their meals, Zell came over to their table, carrying his own tray of Dogg Eggs. The lumpy mess wiggled atop the tray.

“Mind if I sit real quick?” Zell asked.

“Sure, but we were just leaving,” Quistis said. “We’ve got a lot to do today.”

“Won’t take me long,” Zell said. He dropped his plate onto the table with a clang and sat down hard into a chair. “So I was in the library, right?”

“Why were you in the library, Zell?” Quistis asked. She rested her elbows on the table and leaned forward with a grin.

Zell coughed. “Uh… you know… h-hanging out.” He shoved a forkful of Dogg Eggs into his mouth and chewed to avoid having to answer the question. Quistis shrugged and let the issue go.

(I wonder why it always bothers him so much. We all know about the library girl. It’s not a secret.)

(I guess it doesn’t matter.)

“So um, Caraway, you remember him, right?” Zell said. He finished chewing and swallowed. “General Caraway?”

“I remember the General, yes,” Quistis said. The memory of being locked in his drawing room and having to escape through the sewers was still fresh in her mind.

“He put out a video on cable late last night,” Zell said. He punctuated each sentence with another quick forkful of food, speaking in between mouthfuls. “I think you guys should check it out. I just saw it a few minutes ago. It’s causing a big fuss over in Timber. I was going to look into it more, but then I got hungry… so I didn’t.”

He shoveled in more food.

(He eats like he’s being timed.)

“Is it something Rinoa should see?” Quistis asked.

“Rinoa? Why…” Zell said, with a mouthful of food. He swallowed. “Oh right. You know, I keep forgetting that she’s Caraway’s daughter. She might want to see it, now that I think about it.”

“Want to go check it out?” Xu asked Quistis.

“Yes, I’m curious as to what he’d have to say,” Quistis said. “Especially if it’s got the people of Timber upset.”

Quistis and Xu excused themselves and took their trays, leaving Zell alone to demolish the rest of his plate. He’d already cleared the majority of it in his short conversation. They set their trays on the rack above the garbage and headed across the Garden to the library.
Tucked in the far corner of the library were three rows of computer terminals, totaling fifteen functioning stations. Every terminal except two were taken. Xu rushed in to sit at the nearest available one. She pressed a key on the keyboard and the monitor turned on with a soft hum. Quistis leaned over Xu’s shoulder to see the monitor more clearly.

All the computer terminals defaulted to the Garden’s home page, which was dominated by in-school events. The recent policy changes and new code of conduct were displayed prominently. Across the top was a banner depicting a smiling male and female SeeD in full uniform, with the text, “Uniforms now mandatory on Garden property. Click for details.” There was a link for the available administration positions, but only a handful had been posted so far.

There was also a link to the Garden’s “News of the World” page, which Xu clicked. The monitor displayed a list of videos, images, and pages. Almost every link mentioned “Galbadia,” “General Caraway,” or “Timber,” and most of the pictures showed the General’s face, staring directly at the screen.

“Guess it’s big news,” Quistis said.

“No kidding,” Xu said. She clicked on a link titled, “General Caraway Official Speech,” with the previous day’s date. The monitor switched to video format. Xu adjusted the volume to keep it from being too loud, and Quistis leaned in to hear.

In the video, General Caraway stood behind a wooden podium. On either side of the podium were two miniature Galbadian flags. Behind him was a topographical map of the world. He wore his full dress uniform, black, and adorned with the ribbons of his many honors and decorations. He wore white gloves, fingers laced and resting on the top of his desk. He waited a moment while the camera zoomed closer to his face, then began speaking.

“Citizens of Galbadia,” Caraway said. “I am General Fury Caraway, commander of the Galbadian Army. I understand that the recent days and weeks have been tumultuous, confusing, and, on occasion, violent. For those of you who have been unable to stay abreast of the situation, I feel it necessary to provide you with a history of recent events.

“Less than a month ago, President Vizner Deling appointed a new ambassador to Galbadia, the Sorceress Edea. But she had ambitions beyond simply being an Ambassador. On the day of her appointment, she publicly assassinated President Deling and assumed control of Galbadia and our military. Her exact motives were—and still are—greatly shrouded in mystery, but her actions from there are well-known.

“Shortly after seizing control of the military, the Sorceress used our soldiers to canvass the world in search of a girl named Ellone. At the same time, she also launched an attack against the mercenary group SeeD, using both missiles and Galbadia Garden in her efforts to eradicate SeeD. What significance the girl Ellone had, or why SeeD posed such a threat to the sorceress, we may never know. All we know is, after a violent confrontation between Galbadia Garden and Balamb Garden, the Sorceress vanished, and is presumed to have been killed or captured by SeeD.”

(He seems to know a lot about the situation, despite having not had much of a role in it.)

Caraway continued. “Her sudden disappearance is a weight off the shoulders of our nation, but it left us in a predicament. As you know, the Vice President under President Deling died of heart failure nearly a decade ago, and he was not replaced. Furthermore, President Deling dissolved his cabinet shortly after the last Sorceress War, leaving behind, upon his death, no clear line of succession for who should next rule Galbadia.

“Thus myself and the District Governors have seen fit to declare a temporary state of martial law upon the nation of Galbadia, until such time as we are able to elect a new President. That, in effect, makes me in charge of Galbadia for the duration. I assure you, I regret that it has come to this, and I eagerly await the day when I can hand off the reins of Galbadia to someone more suited than I, so that I may resume my duties as General. I wish to pass no laws, and effect no major changes during my stay. My sole desire is to maintain peace and order as we conduct a free and open election in Galbadia.”

(An election in Galbadia? It’d be the first since before I was born.)

Caraway went on. “According to Galbadia’s Constitution, we are not due for another election until this time next year. However, I do not want to wait that long and leave Galbadia in a state of uncertainty and military rule for an entire year. So we are conducting an election for a temporary President, who will serve in office until the next election cycle. Any natural-born Galbadian citizen over the age of forty may run for office. Applicants will be rigorously vetted by myself and the District Governors, to ensure that they are fit to lead our nation, and then we will begin hosting a series of debates between the candidates, to allow the people of Galbadia to better understand the people they are voting for, and to make an informed vote.

“Those interested in running for office may contact—”

Xu tapped a key to end the video. “I think we’ve got the gist of it.”

Quistis crossed her arms. “It seems pretty innocuous. I wonder why Timber would be getting upset over this.”

Xu shrugged. “Let’s find out."

Timber’s public broadcasts were already severely limited, and news from that area was hard to find. Galbadian intel specialists worked hard to clamp down on any transmissions, deleting all videos and posts about Timber’s views and opinions. However, by scanning headlines and reading news sources from Dollet and other neighboring areas, it became clear why Timber was upset.

“I can see why they would take issue with this,” Quistis said. “They are subjected to Galbadian rule, but aren’t allowed to vote in the coming election. Even their speech is being limited. They can’t so much as talk about the election publicly without repercussions.”

“Well, they’re not technically Galbadians,” Xu said. “Not that I’m condoning Galbadia’s behavior or anything…”

“Right,” Quistis said. She paused for a moment, then went on. “But it seems that General Caraway has no intention of liberating Timber during his stay in office. That might be the biggest problem. He’s just going to hand the government—and Timber’s fate—over to another politician, and Timber can do nothing about it… It must be awful to feel so powerless.”

“And because Timber can’t influence the vote in any way,” Xu said, “Then there’s no incentive for any incumbent president to cater to their desires. No matter who gets elected, Timber is still going to be an occupied nation at the end of it all.”

And in that instant, Quistis’ confusion and doubt were replaced by a moment of absolute certainty. The moment of revelation she did not think was possible had come to her, and she knew what her next decision was.

“Can you find Rinoa and show her this video?” Quistis said.

“Sure,” Xu said. “What about you? Where are you going?”

“I’m going to speak with the Headmaster,” Quistis said, straightening up.

Xu raised her eyebrows. “Okay. See you later, Q.”

Quistis turned and left the library, heading to the central elevator in the middle of Garden.

She did not believe in signs, or omens. Events in the world happened because of a combination of human intervention mixed with a bit of random chance. But nevertheless, she couldn’t shake the feeling that the video had come to her in the moment of her greatest indecision and provided her with the answer she had been looking for. Everything about the situation in Galbadia and Timber seemed to parallel Quistis’ current dilemma.

Deling’s assassination, leaving Galbadia without a leader. Timber forced to sit by and watch as their future was sold away in an election they couldn’t influence.

(“If you stand by and let someone else have all the power, then you may not like the decisions they make.”)

Maybe Timber couldn’t influence the course of its fate, but Quistis certainly could influence her own, and that of SeeD. And as long as she had that power, she would use it. To discard it was a denial of everything she believed.

The elevator arrived, and Quistis rode it up to the third floor. The elevator released her to the Headmaster’s receiving room. She crossed the red carpeted floors and knocked on the office door, hoping the Headmaster was in. Something about her epiphany demanded urgency, immediate action. Although it didn’t actually matter, Quistis felt that she had to speak to the Headmaster as soon as possible.

“Come in,” the Headmaster said. Quistis opened the door and stepped inside. Headmaster Cid’s desk was, as usual, a mess of papers and files, but now he had added a computer monitor on top of the pile. He and Edea were examining the screen and sorting through it. Quistis approached his desk, saluted, then returned to the position of attention until the Headmaster greeted her.

“Hello, Quistis,” Cid said. He turned to face her, smiling broadly. He folded his hands together and placed them on his desk. “Now, what can I help you with?”

“Have you seen General Caraway’s video?” Quistis asked.

“Yes,” Cid said. “I’ve been checking the cable all morning. I’m a bit of a news junkie, I must admit. And that video is almost inescapable.”

(No point in drawing this out.)

Quistis took a deep breath. “I would like to accept the position you offered me,” she said. “If you still want me, then I’ll be your Lieutenant Commander.”

Cid clapped. “Wonderful! My star pupils continue to shine! If I may ask, what caused you to reach this decision?”

She didn’t hesitate. “Because I want to have a voice in determining SeeD’s future,” she said. “I want to work with Squall and the others to make sure that SeeD becomes everything it can be. Maybe I’m not the perfect one for the job, but I know my intentions are good. I know that I can and will be able to do anything and everything to help SeeD prosper.”

“Well, let’s not waste any time,” Cid said. “Let’s go over the details of the position, shall we?”