Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance
The Light Behind Your Eyes (One-Shot)
6 reviewsMikey is gone. My Chemical Romance has one last show. Gerard remembers some memories he had with his brother. Song fic.
5Moving
“I don’t think I can do this.” Gerard mumbled, tears brimming his eyes.
Ray put a firm hand on his friend’s shoulder. “I know it’s hard, it’s hard on all of us; but I think he would want us to have one last show.”
“But Ray it’s not the same…nothing’s the same anymore.” Gerard tried holding back his tears but they eventually they started to cascade down his weary cheeks.
“I know Gee….without Mikey here…you’re right it’s not the same. But we need to do this…for him.” Ray stated trying to stay strong for his grieving friend but on the inside he could feel himself breaking down as well. Frank walked into the small dressing room, his eyes, too, were glassy from the tears he’d let fall.
Gerard took a deep breath to compose himself. “You’re right Ray. Mikes…Mikey would want us to put on one last hell-of-a- show. Frank weakly smiled and nodded his head, he grabbed his guitar and walked out behind the singer. Ray took his beloved acoustic guitar and followed his two friends.
Bob stood by the entrance to the stage; he had agreed to do the last live show of My Chemical Romance. He had took the time to learn all the songs and he wanted to perform them perfectly. The four men gathered in a group hug, like they used to do before every show, and they all closed their eyes and prayed. They weren’t very religious men in the slightest, but they thought they all could use the extra help tonight.
As soon as they all stepped out onto the stage the stadium erupted into cheers. Gerard meekly waved to the crowd. Without his brother standing behind him he felt extremely vulnerable. “This show is dedicated to all the amazing years we’ve spent doing what we love. But mostly this show is dedicated to the most wonderful and inspiring man we had the pleasure of knowing and growing up with….my little brother Michael James Way.”
The first song started and the four men were putting their everything into this performance. Soon they were all dripping with sweat and they knew they’d be sore in the morning. After an hour passed by, Ray took out the acoustic guitar and sat down on the small stool.
“For a closing number we’d appreciate it if everyone would take out their lighters or cell phones….or anything that fucking glows and hold it in the air. Thank you everyone for taking this journey with us! Thank you for never giving up on My Chemical Romance. Thank you.” Gerard breathed out and signaled Ray to begin with the closing song.
“So long to all of my friends
Everyone of them met tragic ends
With every passing day
I’d be lying if I didn’t say
That I miss them all tonight
And if they only knew what I would say…..”
Gerard sung out into the stadium full of people…he couldn’t help but think of Mikey. He didn’t know if he could make it through this last song.
“Gee…” Ten year old Mikey whispered shaking his older brother awake. Gerard quickly opened his eyes and sat up.
“What’s going on? Are you hurt?” Gerard muttered rubbing his eyes and yawning.
“No…I had a bad dream. And I was wondering if I could sleep with you.” Mikey mumbled, his bottom lip quivering. Gerard smiled, even though they slept in the same room, Mikey often wanted to sleep in the same bed.
“Of course Mikes.” Gerard pulled the covers down and Mikey slid in next to his brother. Gerard wrapped a protective arm around his baby brother and closed his eyes.
“Gee?” Mikey called out.
“Yeah,"
“You promise to never leave me?” Mikey asked.
Gerard’s eyes snapped open again; he didn’t know why Mikey would ever even think that Gerard would abandon him. “Of course Mikes, I promise. I’ll always be right here.”
Gerard blinked quickly trying to keep his tears at bay. It was one of the memories Gerard had never told anyone about because that promise was between Mikey and him, no one else. He glanced over at Ray, the guitarist ran his fingers smoothly across the neck of the guitar, but his face showed the same emotion Gerard was feeling. Sorrow.
“If I could be with you tonight
I would sing you to sleep
Never let them take the light behind your eyes
One day I’ll lose this fight
As we fade in the dark
Just remember you will always burn as bright….”
“Gerard I don’t know what to do. Alicia and I have been dating for a while now. I think she’s ready to take the next step.” Mikey stated running his long, bony fingers through his hair.
“Well are you ready for that?” Gerard asked taking a bite of a cold slice of pizza that was left over from dinner the night before.
“That’s the thing I have no clue. Half of me is and the other half…well…I think it’s scared to move on.” Mikey admitted.
“Scared?” Gerard glanced up at Mikey in confusion.
“Yeah…I mean it’s always been you and me against the world. And well I’m not sure if I’m ready to change that. Of course Frank and Ray have almost always been there…but you…well you have never turned your back on me
once.” Mikey sighed and sat down on the couch.
Gerard walked over to his brother and sat beside him. “Look Mikes…that will never change. I’m always gonna be one-hundred percent behind you. I think if you truly want to marry Alicia than do it. She’s a great girl. But don’t let your fear of losing me stand in the way because that’s never going to happen.” Gerard stated in a soft voice, Mikey looked over at his brother and smiled.
“So you want to help me pick out a ring?” Mikey chuckled.
Gerard shrugged, “Nothing better to do.”
Gerard felt his throat swell, but he shook his head and regained control over his emotions. He looked over at Frank and saw that he had tears streaming down his face. Frank had never been able to hide his emotions, it didn’t matter what they were, you could always tell how he was feeling.
“Be strong and hold my hand
Time becomes for us, you’ll understand
We’ll say goodbye today
And we’re sorry how it ends this way
If you promise not to cry
Then I’ll tell you just what I would say…”
Gerard pulled into the local parks parking lot. Mikey had called him and told him to meet him there. He said that it was urgent and that he needed to tell someone. Gerard quickly got out of his car and ran over to where he saw Mikey standing. He was standing in front of a small pond; the park was nearly empty because of the looming grey clouds in the horizon.
“Mikey what’s wrong?” Gerard huffed, trying to catch his breath.
Mikey looked up at the sky. “I’ve always loved the smell of rain. It’s very soothing.” He said in a calm tone.
“Mikes…what is going on? You said you needed someone to talk to?” Gerard
said giving his brother a worried look.
"I’ve been going to the doctor’s a lot lately about the pain in my stomach.” Gerard didn’t say anything, he just waited for Mikey to continue speaking, “Turns out it has nothing to do with my stomach."
“That’s good right?” Gerard asked becoming more and more worried.
Mikey took a deep breath, wincing as he did so. “Gerard… I- I have
pancreatic cancer.”
Gerard stared at his little brother mouth agape. “N-No. You can’t…i-it’s treatable right?”
Mikey bit his bottom lip, “It already spread to other parts of my body Gerard.”
Gerard shook his franticly, “But can’t you get chemotherapy? Th-they can’t do anything.”
“I could go through chemo…but my chances of survival are about five percent. I-I refused treatments Gerard. I don’t want to go through chemo if there’s no chance of it helping.” Mikey voice was shaky. “They gave me pain killers to numb the pain…but they estimated I’ll be gone in about a month.
Gerard couldn’t comprehend. One month? He had one month left with his baby brother. “Does A-Alicia know?”
Mikey nodded, “I told her a couple days ago. But other than that no one else knows.”
Gerard felt warm tears slide down his cheeks. “You can’t be dying Mikes…you just can’t be.”
“I’m sorry Gerard,” Mikey took a deep breath, “But I want to spend as much time with everyone as I can. That’s half the reason why I refused treatments.”
Gerard couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. He let them fall freely down his face in front of the hundreds of fans in front of him
“If I could be with you tonight
I would sing you to sleep
Never let them take the light behind your eyes
I’ll fail and lose this fight
Never fade in the dark
Just remember you will always burn as bright…”
The hospital smelled of bleach and old food which made Gerard crinkle his nose. Mikey had been taken to the hospital a few days ago and Gerard had hardly left his side. It had been three months since Mikey had told Gerard about the cancer. Gerard was happy that he had gotten a few more months with his brother. He had, had to go home and spend the night with his family but now he was walking back to the room in which Mikey was in. He saw Alicia on the floor crying. Fearing the worse he kneeled down beside her.
“Al what’s wrong? What’s happen with Mikey?”
“He got worse Gerard. So much worse over night. They don’t think he’s going to last very much longer. I’m sorry but I can’t watch the man I love die.” Alicia wiped her eyes, got to her feet, and walked away.
Gerard quickly walked into the room. Mikey glanced over and smiled weakly.
“Hey,” He muttered.
“Hey Mikes, how are you feeling?” Gerard already knew the answer though.
“Not too good.” He sounded so weak. Gerard walked over to the bed and laid down next to Mikey. He wrapped his arms around his brother. Mikey listened to Gerard’s heart beat which soothed him a little.
“It’s okay to let go Mikey. You’ve hung on so long. It’s okay to let go.” Gerard whispered into Mikey’s ear.
“I’m scared Gee.” Mikey whimpered. This was the first time Gerard had seen Mikey break down in these last couple months. Gerard ran his hand, soothingly, through Mikey’s hair.
“I know. I know.” Gerard cooed.
“Gee?” Mikey called out.
“Yeah Mikes?”
“Can you sing to me?” Mikey asked, his voice becoming weaker and weaker.
Gerard nodded and begun to sing his baby brother to sleep. Within a couple minutes Mikey went limp. Gerard knew he was gone. But he didn’t stop singing until the doctors and nurses asked him politely to leave./]
“Sometimes we must grow stronger and
You can’t be stronger in the dark
When I’m here, no longer
You must be stronger and
If I could be with you tonight
I would sing you to sleep
Never let them take the light behind your eyes
I’ll fail and lost this fight
Never fade in the dark
Just remember you will always burn as bright.”
Gerard finished up the final notes and the crowd erupted into cheers. He could see many of them had tears falling down their faces.
“Thank you guys. We love you all. This…this has been one hell of a journey.” Gerard croaked.
The four men exited the stage. Gerard saw all of them including Bob had tears running down their cheeks.
“That was a great show.” Ray smiled weakly, “Mikey would be proud.”
“No would be.” Gerard stated, “He is proud. He’s still with us. In our hearts…in our music.”
They all nodded and after a few more minutes of talking they went their separate ways. Gerard gasped when he saw the faint silhouette of Mikey smirking in front of him.
“I love you.” Gerard smiled.
“I love you too big bro. I’ll see you on the other side.” Mikey stated and then disappeared.
“I’ll see you then,” Gerard whispered to himself before grabbing his leather jacket, getting into his car and driving away into the night.
Ray put a firm hand on his friend’s shoulder. “I know it’s hard, it’s hard on all of us; but I think he would want us to have one last show.”
“But Ray it’s not the same…nothing’s the same anymore.” Gerard tried holding back his tears but they eventually they started to cascade down his weary cheeks.
“I know Gee….without Mikey here…you’re right it’s not the same. But we need to do this…for him.” Ray stated trying to stay strong for his grieving friend but on the inside he could feel himself breaking down as well. Frank walked into the small dressing room, his eyes, too, were glassy from the tears he’d let fall.
Gerard took a deep breath to compose himself. “You’re right Ray. Mikes…Mikey would want us to put on one last hell-of-a- show. Frank weakly smiled and nodded his head, he grabbed his guitar and walked out behind the singer. Ray took his beloved acoustic guitar and followed his two friends.
Bob stood by the entrance to the stage; he had agreed to do the last live show of My Chemical Romance. He had took the time to learn all the songs and he wanted to perform them perfectly. The four men gathered in a group hug, like they used to do before every show, and they all closed their eyes and prayed. They weren’t very religious men in the slightest, but they thought they all could use the extra help tonight.
As soon as they all stepped out onto the stage the stadium erupted into cheers. Gerard meekly waved to the crowd. Without his brother standing behind him he felt extremely vulnerable. “This show is dedicated to all the amazing years we’ve spent doing what we love. But mostly this show is dedicated to the most wonderful and inspiring man we had the pleasure of knowing and growing up with….my little brother Michael James Way.”
The first song started and the four men were putting their everything into this performance. Soon they were all dripping with sweat and they knew they’d be sore in the morning. After an hour passed by, Ray took out the acoustic guitar and sat down on the small stool.
“For a closing number we’d appreciate it if everyone would take out their lighters or cell phones….or anything that fucking glows and hold it in the air. Thank you everyone for taking this journey with us! Thank you for never giving up on My Chemical Romance. Thank you.” Gerard breathed out and signaled Ray to begin with the closing song.
“So long to all of my friends
Everyone of them met tragic ends
With every passing day
I’d be lying if I didn’t say
That I miss them all tonight
And if they only knew what I would say…..”
Gerard sung out into the stadium full of people…he couldn’t help but think of Mikey. He didn’t know if he could make it through this last song.
“Gee…” Ten year old Mikey whispered shaking his older brother awake. Gerard quickly opened his eyes and sat up.
“What’s going on? Are you hurt?” Gerard muttered rubbing his eyes and yawning.
“No…I had a bad dream. And I was wondering if I could sleep with you.” Mikey mumbled, his bottom lip quivering. Gerard smiled, even though they slept in the same room, Mikey often wanted to sleep in the same bed.
“Of course Mikes.” Gerard pulled the covers down and Mikey slid in next to his brother. Gerard wrapped a protective arm around his baby brother and closed his eyes.
“Gee?” Mikey called out.
“Yeah,"
“You promise to never leave me?” Mikey asked.
Gerard’s eyes snapped open again; he didn’t know why Mikey would ever even think that Gerard would abandon him. “Of course Mikes, I promise. I’ll always be right here.”
Gerard blinked quickly trying to keep his tears at bay. It was one of the memories Gerard had never told anyone about because that promise was between Mikey and him, no one else. He glanced over at Ray, the guitarist ran his fingers smoothly across the neck of the guitar, but his face showed the same emotion Gerard was feeling. Sorrow.
“If I could be with you tonight
I would sing you to sleep
Never let them take the light behind your eyes
One day I’ll lose this fight
As we fade in the dark
Just remember you will always burn as bright….”
“Gerard I don’t know what to do. Alicia and I have been dating for a while now. I think she’s ready to take the next step.” Mikey stated running his long, bony fingers through his hair.
“Well are you ready for that?” Gerard asked taking a bite of a cold slice of pizza that was left over from dinner the night before.
“That’s the thing I have no clue. Half of me is and the other half…well…I think it’s scared to move on.” Mikey admitted.
“Scared?” Gerard glanced up at Mikey in confusion.
“Yeah…I mean it’s always been you and me against the world. And well I’m not sure if I’m ready to change that. Of course Frank and Ray have almost always been there…but you…well you have never turned your back on me
once.” Mikey sighed and sat down on the couch.
Gerard walked over to his brother and sat beside him. “Look Mikes…that will never change. I’m always gonna be one-hundred percent behind you. I think if you truly want to marry Alicia than do it. She’s a great girl. But don’t let your fear of losing me stand in the way because that’s never going to happen.” Gerard stated in a soft voice, Mikey looked over at his brother and smiled.
“So you want to help me pick out a ring?” Mikey chuckled.
Gerard shrugged, “Nothing better to do.”
Gerard felt his throat swell, but he shook his head and regained control over his emotions. He looked over at Frank and saw that he had tears streaming down his face. Frank had never been able to hide his emotions, it didn’t matter what they were, you could always tell how he was feeling.
“Be strong and hold my hand
Time becomes for us, you’ll understand
We’ll say goodbye today
And we’re sorry how it ends this way
If you promise not to cry
Then I’ll tell you just what I would say…”
Gerard pulled into the local parks parking lot. Mikey had called him and told him to meet him there. He said that it was urgent and that he needed to tell someone. Gerard quickly got out of his car and ran over to where he saw Mikey standing. He was standing in front of a small pond; the park was nearly empty because of the looming grey clouds in the horizon.
“Mikey what’s wrong?” Gerard huffed, trying to catch his breath.
Mikey looked up at the sky. “I’ve always loved the smell of rain. It’s very soothing.” He said in a calm tone.
“Mikes…what is going on? You said you needed someone to talk to?” Gerard
said giving his brother a worried look.
"I’ve been going to the doctor’s a lot lately about the pain in my stomach.” Gerard didn’t say anything, he just waited for Mikey to continue speaking, “Turns out it has nothing to do with my stomach."
“That’s good right?” Gerard asked becoming more and more worried.
Mikey took a deep breath, wincing as he did so. “Gerard… I- I have
pancreatic cancer.”
Gerard stared at his little brother mouth agape. “N-No. You can’t…i-it’s treatable right?”
Mikey bit his bottom lip, “It already spread to other parts of my body Gerard.”
Gerard shook his franticly, “But can’t you get chemotherapy? Th-they can’t do anything.”
“I could go through chemo…but my chances of survival are about five percent. I-I refused treatments Gerard. I don’t want to go through chemo if there’s no chance of it helping.” Mikey voice was shaky. “They gave me pain killers to numb the pain…but they estimated I’ll be gone in about a month.
Gerard couldn’t comprehend. One month? He had one month left with his baby brother. “Does A-Alicia know?”
Mikey nodded, “I told her a couple days ago. But other than that no one else knows.”
Gerard felt warm tears slide down his cheeks. “You can’t be dying Mikes…you just can’t be.”
“I’m sorry Gerard,” Mikey took a deep breath, “But I want to spend as much time with everyone as I can. That’s half the reason why I refused treatments.”
Gerard couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. He let them fall freely down his face in front of the hundreds of fans in front of him
“If I could be with you tonight
I would sing you to sleep
Never let them take the light behind your eyes
I’ll fail and lose this fight
Never fade in the dark
Just remember you will always burn as bright…”
The hospital smelled of bleach and old food which made Gerard crinkle his nose. Mikey had been taken to the hospital a few days ago and Gerard had hardly left his side. It had been three months since Mikey had told Gerard about the cancer. Gerard was happy that he had gotten a few more months with his brother. He had, had to go home and spend the night with his family but now he was walking back to the room in which Mikey was in. He saw Alicia on the floor crying. Fearing the worse he kneeled down beside her.
“Al what’s wrong? What’s happen with Mikey?”
“He got worse Gerard. So much worse over night. They don’t think he’s going to last very much longer. I’m sorry but I can’t watch the man I love die.” Alicia wiped her eyes, got to her feet, and walked away.
Gerard quickly walked into the room. Mikey glanced over and smiled weakly.
“Hey,” He muttered.
“Hey Mikes, how are you feeling?” Gerard already knew the answer though.
“Not too good.” He sounded so weak. Gerard walked over to the bed and laid down next to Mikey. He wrapped his arms around his brother. Mikey listened to Gerard’s heart beat which soothed him a little.
“It’s okay to let go Mikey. You’ve hung on so long. It’s okay to let go.” Gerard whispered into Mikey’s ear.
“I’m scared Gee.” Mikey whimpered. This was the first time Gerard had seen Mikey break down in these last couple months. Gerard ran his hand, soothingly, through Mikey’s hair.
“I know. I know.” Gerard cooed.
“Gee?” Mikey called out.
“Yeah Mikes?”
“Can you sing to me?” Mikey asked, his voice becoming weaker and weaker.
Gerard nodded and begun to sing his baby brother to sleep. Within a couple minutes Mikey went limp. Gerard knew he was gone. But he didn’t stop singing until the doctors and nurses asked him politely to leave./]
“Sometimes we must grow stronger and
You can’t be stronger in the dark
When I’m here, no longer
You must be stronger and
If I could be with you tonight
I would sing you to sleep
Never let them take the light behind your eyes
I’ll fail and lost this fight
Never fade in the dark
Just remember you will always burn as bright.”
Gerard finished up the final notes and the crowd erupted into cheers. He could see many of them had tears falling down their faces.
“Thank you guys. We love you all. This…this has been one hell of a journey.” Gerard croaked.
The four men exited the stage. Gerard saw all of them including Bob had tears running down their cheeks.
“That was a great show.” Ray smiled weakly, “Mikey would be proud.”
“No would be.” Gerard stated, “He is proud. He’s still with us. In our hearts…in our music.”
They all nodded and after a few more minutes of talking they went their separate ways. Gerard gasped when he saw the faint silhouette of Mikey smirking in front of him.
“I love you.” Gerard smiled.
“I love you too big bro. I’ll see you on the other side.” Mikey stated and then disappeared.
“I’ll see you then,” Gerard whispered to himself before grabbing his leather jacket, getting into his car and driving away into the night.
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