FicWad

Kendall awkwardly stopped in the doorway as Frank continued walking forward. He grabbed a clean rag and gestured for her to follow him in to the bathroom but she didn’t. “So, no more door knobs?” She hadn’t commented on it before, but now was as good a time as any.

Frank shrugged. “You did something wrong, and lost the privilege of privacy.”

“Yes Sir.” Kendall spit out bitterly.

Frank rolled his eyes. “It wouldn’t be so bad if you’d stop testing me.”

“Did you expect anything different?” Kendall inquired, slowly moving forward. Her head ached, but the idea of the wound being cleaned was unappealing.

“I…” Frank twisted the rag, draining out all of the excess water. “No, I guess I didn’t.”

“You did.” Kendall commented, turning her back to him.

Frank pulled her hair to the side so that he could get a better view of the head wound. It wasn’t very big, but there was a little blood. “I just hoped you, of all people, would understand.”

“Why would I?” Kendall winced in pain as Frank gently dabbed at the forming bump.

“Your blog.” Frank spoke softly, sounding somewhat embarrassed. “You’re the most open person I know.”

“You don’t know me.” Kendall spit out.

“Oh, but I do.” Frank confidently replied.

“There is more to me than what’s written in my blog.” Kendall commented.

“I know that.” Frank answered. “That’s the surprise of all of this. You’re so much different than I expected, but I still know you… deep inside.”

Kendall rolled her eyes, but Frank couldn’t see. “So, I’m a disappointment then?”

“I didn’t say that.” Frank smoothly replied.

“What did you expect?” Kendall asked, wincing once again as Frank finished cleaning the blood from her head wound.

“I expected you to be more open to this, more understanding.” Frank admitted.

“So, you thought I wouldn’t care when you murdered my parents?” Kendall was surprised.

“You weren’t supposed to know.” Frank softly admitted.

“What?” Kendall turned, and Frank dropped his hand to his side though he kept hold of the slightly wet rag.

“I was going to be late picking you up from our date, after dinner I was going to bring you here and then… then you- well, you know.” Frank blushed.

“Then you’d keep me locked here, and I’d never know about my parents?” Kendall asked softly, feeling even more betrayed.

“Yeah.” Frank breathed out, realizing his mistake almost immediately. Honesty wasn’t always the best policy, and he wasn’t quite sure how to balance honesty with lies. He didn’t want to lie to Kendall, but he didn’t want to hurt her either.

“Did it hurt?” Kendall’s voice broke, and she fought to look at Frank. It was hard. She was having trouble associating him with murder, or even thinking of her parents as dead. Inside her head she was still convinced that Frank would let her go and her parents would be there waiting, waiting for her. She still had the feeling that things could be normal again. It was her own delusion, one she wasn’t ready to let go of.

Frank learned to lie just in time. “No, they didn’t feel a thing.”

“Did they, did they know what you were going to do?” Kendall tentatively asked, unsure if she really wanted to know.

Frank closed his eyes and thought of their fear. The pain he’d caused them… All of their blood, all over his hands. “I knocked them out before they saw it coming, and then- well, you don’t need to know this.”

“Please.” Kendall begged softly.

Frank opened his eyes to find Kendall’s eyes glued to him. She looked scared, and lost, and /vulnerable/. “I don’t want you to know what I did.”

“I need to know. What did you do Frank?” Kendall pressed.

“I knocked them out.” Frank swallowed hard, constructing the lie quite quickly. “First your father, since he was more of a risk, and then your mother. They were confused, but it never moved past that. I then beat them to death. They never woke up, and they never knew what was coming. I made it as painless for them as possible… for you.” That was the only part of truth to Frank’s statement. He had tried his hardest to make it as painless as he could but his father relished in pain, and having him there had complicated things. For Kendall, Frank had still tried.

“And you found that to be a kind gesture.” Kendall whispered. Her tone betrayed her, as her emotions clearly showed through.

Frank nodded, gazing at Kendall with an unreadable expression.

“So this is who you are.” Kendall commented softly, as if they’d made a big discovery together.

“Yes.” Frank swallowed hard.

“And you want me to accept you, as you are.” Kendall commented.

Frank nodded.

“And you want me to give up everything I’ve ever known?” Kendall asked, already knowing the answer. She just wanted to make this all crystal clear to Frank. She wanted him to hear out loud what he was asking of her, what he expected of her.

Frank thought over the question with growing dread. “I want-”

Kendall cut him off. “Yes or no Frank.”

“Yes.” Frank swallowed hard.

“And you want to kiss me?” Kendall’s voice broke, as she thought of how she’d given her first kiss away to the boy that killed her parents. That was hard to stomach.

“Yes.” Frank answered, voice growing stronger. “I very much want that, all the time.”

“And you want to fuck me?” Kendall cringed at how crude the question was.

Frank didn’t answer.

Kendall continued on, not needing a verbal answer. She already knew. “And you want me to give you children?”

Frank nodded. “When you’re ready.”

“And then you want me to raise those children knowing they will go out someday and kill, ruining someone’s life in order to force love.”

Frank sighed. “Make your point already.”

“That is my point.” Kendall replied. “I just outlined everything you want from me, and it seems that none of it sticks out as wrong to you. Do you really want to teach your son or daughter to be killers? Do you want that on them? Do you want the person they choose to hate them forever, as I hate you? And do you really want to fucking deprive them of the chance to be loved, and love? Because this isn’t love Frank. This is so fucking far from love.”

Frank thought of how it had felt taking Kendall’s parent’s lives. It wasn’t something he had really dealt with just yet. It was just something he knew he had to do, and so he’d done it. Did he really want his future children to have that weight on their shoulders? He wasn’t so sure about that.

“Love takes time.” Frank finally answered, though his voice was dry. “You haven’t had time to cope, and you don’t understand yet-”

Kendall cut him off again. “You can give me all the time in the world Frank but I’ll never love you. I might learn to be a better liar but that’s as far as we’ll get.”

Frank swallowed hard, as Kendall’s words floated around in his mind.

Would she ever truly love him?

He always thought it would happen, but now? Now that it was really coming down to it he wasn’t so sure that love was as easy as his parents had said it was.

“Why don’t you go clean up the kitchen?” Frank finally spoke. The words came out calm, but he felt far from calm. He felt angry, and as if his plan was falling apart- though it couldn’t. He had no other choice. This love had to work. It was all either of them had.

“I’m not your bitch.” Kendall spit out. “You clean it up.”

Frank’s hand shot out, and it was like he didn’t even have control of it. Kendall squeaked in fear as his fingers wrapped around her neck. She could fight him off, sure, but she knew she wasn’t strong enough and so she left her hands at her sides, uselessly hanging there. Frank’s fingers tightened, but not enough to cut off her breathing. “Let me make this clear Kendall.” Frank’s voice dropped. “You’re whatever I want you to be.” Frank didn’t even know where the words came from, nor where the aggression had popped up from. He wanted to be gentle and caring with Kendall but she evoked caveman like feelings inside of him- and he didn’t like the idea of losing her completely, though his angry actions were just proving to push her further away.

“Of course.” Kendall’s fire returned, burning brightly than ever. She shoved him away, hard. “I’ll be in the kitchen.” With a glare that could kill she left.

Frank remained standing in the bathroom, as everything that had ever made sense to him came crumbling down.

What did he want?

Because it sure as hell wasn’t this.