Categories > TV > Buffy the Vampire Slayer > Hanging the Monkey

Chapter Two.

by Hussar 0 reviews

Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer - Rating: G - Genres:  - Published: 2013-01-27 - Updated: 2013-01-27 - 2698 words - Complete


Outside the Saracen’s Head.

Waiting in the Land Rover, Xander found himself admiring the swing of Faith’s hips as she sauntered into the pub. He blinked his eye rapidly and looked away, once with Faith was enough; also he could never be sure that he wouldn’t end up out in the parking lot clutching his clothes again.

The Saracen’s Head was a typical north country pub which attracted a lot of the local bikers. This was good on several counts; first it meant that Faith’s Land Rover was in tip-top mechanical condition. Anyone who wanted to impress the sexy, hot, American barmaid was ready, willing and able to perform all kinds of maintenance on Faith’s vehicle. Having been bought for the princely some of £250 at a Ministry of Defence auction it’d been in dire need of repair.

Secondly, the bikers were more than willing to ‘help out’. If that meant getting a slayer to the other end of the country in a hurry there were always volunteers with large powerful motorbikes available and no questions asked. To be honest, Xander couldn’t remember meeting a nicer more helpful bunch of guys and girls. It seemed that if you were one of Faith’s friends nothing was too much trouble.

Once again, Xander found himself thinking of Faith in a more than ‘just a work colleague’ way. It also reminded him that he’d not been on a date since Anya had died and to be honest he didn’t exactly meet that many eligible young women during the course of his work. Okay, he could take up the almost daily offers of meaningless sex from the lonely housewives he met while he was doing his day job. But he wanted more than ‘meaningless sex’, or so he told himself.

Okay, Faith was out of the question, he started to go through a mental list of the available women in his life. Buffy, no that was way too complicated and she was sorta his boss. Willow? Very gay now, and he didn’t think he could fight Kennedy for her. Dawn? No, that was right out, that would be like dating the little sister of your best friend…which of course he would be. Vi? Again that would be like dating a friend’s little sister and anyway he thought she’d got a boyfriend. No, it looked like he was heading for a life of celibacy.

“Hey! Harris!”

“Huh! What!?” Xander turned to see Faith looking in through the side window at him.

“Look,” Faith pushed a stray strand of hair out of her eyes and Xander found himself thinking how beautiful she looked, “I can’t get tonight off. But I’ve got tomorrow night off anyway, so why don’t you go to this party tonight and pick me up after closing time?” Faith dug deep into the pocket of her jeans, “Here,” she pulled out the keys for the Land Rover, “you can borrow the ‘Rover but don’t you bust her up.”

Tossing him the keys she turned and started back towards the pub, she called over her shoulder to him.

“Be here at about eleven-thirty tonight,” she waved and disappeared into the pub.

A little stunned, Xander looked at the keys in his hand. Maybe Faith did like him, she didn’t lend her precious Land Rover to just anyone.


Inside the pub, Mrs Townsend, the landlady, watched as Xander drove Faith’s Land Rover out onto the main road.

“Oh, ‘e’s tasty, Faith,” she glanced in Faith’s direction and grinned, “is ‘e your boyfriend then?”

“What!” laughed Faith, “Harris? Nah,” she shook her head, “he’s just someone I work with sometimes, he helps out, y’know?”

“Oh, I thought he looked rather dashing,” Mrs Townsend, a woman in her early forties, turned away from the window, “what with the eye patch an’ that.”

“You want him,” Faith smiled as she started to help restock the bar, “you have him…be my guest!”


Dawn and Vi’s flat warming party later that night.

“Who’s that?” Buffy whispered urgently in Willow’s ear.

“Who’s who?” Willow sipped on her long cocktail and turned to face Buffy, a puzzled frown on her face.

The party was actually quite fun, normally Willow didn’t function well at parties but she knew almost everyone at this one so she was enjoying herself. Or she would be if Buffy didn’t keep whispering in her ear demanding to know the name and full life history of any male that came within three feet of Dawn.

“There, talking to Dawn,” Buffy gestured with a half full wine glass, some or the dark red liquid slopped out of the glass to splash on the floor.

“That’s Alistair,” sighed Willow, she was getting fed up of this game and couldn’t wait for Kennedy to reappear. “He’s Vi’s boyfriend and no he’s not a vampire and as far as I can tell he’s not a demon either.”

“So why’s she talking to him?” Buffy drank the remaining wine in her glass.

“Because,” Willow was starting to get cross now, “she’s being a good hostess and friend by distracting him while Vi’s out on patrol and Buffy you’re starting to suck all the fun out of this!”

“Sorry,” mumbled Buffy as she looked at her empty glass, “Hey!” she turned to look into Willow’s eyes, “Someone stole my wine! Need more!”

Buffy started to head for the nearest wine bottle, surprisingly, Willow easily held her back.

“I think you’ve had quite enough wine,” Willow started to steer her friend towards an empty chair. “Come on Kennedy,” Willow muttered under her breath, “please hurry up and come back.”


Middlesbrough University Campus.

Twisting the vampire’s arm up behind his back, Kennedy slammed him head first into a tree. Holding the stunned vamp with one hand she reached around with the other to retrieve the stake she usually carried tucked into her jeans; her hand closed on emptiness.

“Damn it!” she snarled quietly, “STAKE!” she cried and held out her hand.

As if by magic she felt the comforting hardness of a stake being slapped into her hand. Not wasting a second she rammed it into the back of the struggling vamp. Stepping away from the creature she watched as it turned to dust. Tossing the stake up in the air she caught it again and turned to give it back to Vi.

“Thanks,” she smiled, “stupid me, I forgot to pack one.”

“That’s okay,” Vi walked across the small lawn from her own little pile of ash, “keep it, I’ve got plenty.”

Opening her leather jacket, Vi showed off a row of stakes secured by loops to the inside of her coat. Kennedy studied Vi’s set-up with interest, it seemed like a good way of carrying stakes around.

“Dawnie did the stitching,” explained Vi, “and a guy on the woodwork course at school made the stakes; they’re hammer handles.”

“Cool,” admitted Kennedy as she tucked the stake away; the two young women linked arms and continued their walk around the university campus. “So, what’s it like living with Dawn?”

Having had to leave America long before they’d finished High School, both girls were doing a Further Education course run by the university. Hopefully, in a year or two they’d both be able to enrol for a degree course if they so desired. At the moment they were enjoying being free of parental control and not having to work too hard.

“Dawn’s nice,” Vi nodded her head, “not at all bossy like her sister but she’s just as stubborn.”

“Yeah,” Kennedy nodded her head in agreement, “tell me something new.”

The two young women walked along in silence for a moment.

“So,” began Kennedy nonchalantly, “have you and Alistair done ‘it’ yet?”

“Done what?” puzzled Vi looked at Kennedy just as the penny dropped, “OH!” she squeaked, “You mean…no. Not yet…do you think I should…I mean is it time?”

“Not for me to say,” Kennedy admitted, “and remember; I find the whole idea of screwing a guy a bit icky anyway…now if it was you and Dawn…”

“EWW!” Vi pulled away from Kennedy, “I mean…not that I’ve got anything against Dawn, but…”

“She doesn’t rock your boat?” Kennedy raised an eyebrow quizzically.

“No way,” Violet replied emphatically.

“Not even a little?” Kennedy teased.

“No, no and NO!” Violet slapped Kennedy’s back playfully before linking arms with her again.

“Pity,” sighed Kennedy, she looked at her watch, “Oh well, I think its time we were heading back,” they turned and headed in the direction of Violet and Dawn’s apartment. “I better save Willow from the clutches of Saint Buffy of the Stake.”

Violet giggled at Kennedy’s nick name for Buffy.

“And I,” Violet sighed longingly, “wanna get back to Alistair before Dawn steals him away from me.”


Hartlepool, later that night.

Pulling into the parking space on Hartlepool High Street, Xander watched the blue flashing lights a little further down the street. There was a couple of police cars and an ambulance parked in the road as a small crowd gathered around and blocked his view of what was going on.

“What’s goin’ on, Harris?” Faith was struggling with her seatbelt and was too pre-occupied to watch.

“Looks like there’s been an accident or something,” Xander unclipped his seat belt and opened the driver’s side door, “come on we better check it out.”

“Hold on!” with a grunt Faith pulled the seatbelt mounting loose from the roll-bar it’d been welded to; free at last she stepped out onto the road.

Joining Xander on the pavement, Faith automatically put her arm through his; they started to walk towards the accident. To anyone watching they looked just like any young couple on there way home after a Friday night out. As they came to the rear of the crowd, Xander could feel the warmth of Faith’s body against his own; he started to feel emotions he’d thought long forgotten start to bubble to the surface of his mind. By the time they got to where they could see, the paramedics were putting a body onto a stretcher and covering it with a blanket.

“Nasty,” Xander commented quietly.

“Unusual way to die,” admitted Faith trying hard to hide her amusement.

“Hey, Faith,” Xander turned to look at her crossly, “death by banana is no joke y’know?”

“I know,” Faith covered her mouth with her hand, “but did you see where…” she cracked-up and hid her face against Xander’s shoulder.

“That’s old Ernie Hepplethwaite, that is!” exclaimed a voice in the crowd as the police started to clear the crowd and the ambulance drove off.

“I know that name,” whispered Xander, as Faith regained control of herself, “I read it today somewhere.”

“Hey,” Faith was starting to realise the seriousness of what she’d just see, “last I checked ya can’t stab someone with a banana, let alone stick one up his…”

“T’Cop said they were t’frozen t’solid!” muttered a young woman to her friend as they walked past Faith.

“Eee, well go t’foot of our t’stairs, Hilda!” replied her friend as they walked on out of even slayer hearing.

“Well that answers that question,” Faith crossed her arms over her chest as she looked around the rapidly emptying street, it was at this point she realised she was talking to herself.

“Harris!?” Catching site of Xander by the Rover she hurried over to join him, “Did you hear that?” she called as she got closer, “Guy was stabbed with a deep frozen banana!”

“Good,” distractedly Xander sorted through the file Buffy had given him, “at least now we know it wasn’t a Scotsman.”

“A what?” Faith looked at Xander as if he were mad.

“A Scotsman would have covered the banana in batter and deep fried it,” triumphantly Xander held up the sheet of paper he’d been searching for. “Here!” he smiled, “I knew I knew that name,” he paused waiting for Faith to react; she didn’t so he sighed quietly and continued. “There was a Hepplethwaite connected to the monkey hanging…”

“You don’t think…” Faith ran her eyes over the nearby roof tops.

“The French monkey has come back for his reven-ge!” Xander smiled hopefully waiting for some sort of reaction from Faith, all he got was a…

“Huh?” Faith was seriously doubting Xander’s sanity.

“Revenge!” exclaimed Xander, “After all these years its come back to…”

“Yeah I get the picture,” Faith had a thoughtful look on her face, “what was the date of the original hanging?”

“Um let me see,” Xander rifled through the papers he held, “Yeah I’ve got it…November, 1803!”

“Hey, even I can work out that’s almost exactly two hundred years ago,” Faith ran her hand through her hair as she looked up and down the street. “Did anything happen in 1903?”

“Damn-it,” Xander searched through the papers again, “doesn’t say.”

“Okay,” Faith walked around to the rear of the Land Rover, she started to open the canvas tilt. “Are there any more names? All we have to do is get to them before this monkey thing does and slay it.”

“Names, but no addresses,” Xander threw the papers onto the driver’s seat in frustration.

“Okay,” Faith reappeared from the back of the Land Rover clutching a selection of sharp edged weapons. “We just drive around until we find the bastard…I mean,” she shrugged and dumped the weapons on the front seats, “a monkey in a French sailor suit can’t be that hard to spot around here.”


Willow and Kennedy’s Apartment.

Snoring loudly, Buffy curled up on Willow and Kennedy’s couch in their front room.

“How much did she have?” Kennedy placed a blanket over Buffy’s sleeping form.

“She musta drunk a whole bottle,” Willow placed a bucket near Buffy’s head, just in case, “it’s not like her to drink so much.” Willow frowned as she looked down at her friend, “She knows she can’t drink…well not that much.”

“Look,” Kennedy came to stand next to Willow, she slipped her arm around her waist, “she’s got a lot to worry about.”

Willow looked at her girlfriend in puzzled surprise.

“Hey,” she smiled, “what have you done with the real Kennedy Scarpone?”

“No, I’m serious,” Kennedy started to steer Willow towards their bedroom, “I realised things must be worse than she was letting on when she asked if my Dad could help.”

“Oh, jeepers, she didn’t, did she?” Willow looked at Kennedy wide-eyed, “Things must be bad…”

“Yeah look,” Kennedy kissed Willow lightly on the lips, “you get into bed I’ll switch off the lights and lock up, okay?”

“Okay,” Willow agreed sleepily as she shuffled into the bed room.

Walking over to the kitchen door, Kennedy switched off the light and shut the door. Switching off the living room light, she walked over to the couch to check on Buffy once more. She looked down at the older woman and sighed sadly.

“Hey,” she said softly, “you might be a pain in my ass but…but you care.” Shaking her head Kennedy pulled the blanket up to cover Buffy’s shoulder, “You worry about everyone and everything and you do your best, so, I think you’re entitled to drink yourself silly every once in a while. Tomorrow, it’ll all still be there; same crap, different day.”

Buffy shifted in her sleep.

“And if by chance you remember anything I’ve said,” Kennedy told Buffy’s sleeping form, “I’ll deny every word!”

Turning, Kennedy headed for her bed and Willow leaving Buffy to sleep it off. As the bedroom door closed leaving Buffy alone on the couch, she whimpered quietly as she dreamed.

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