FicWad

In the living room, I went through my cameraroll on my iphone, searching for a new wallpaper. I scrolled through a picture of me and pete kissing, and I made a disgusted noise and deleted the picture. My dad started cursing. He had seen me kissing a boy. He hates gays with a passion, and he quickly smacked me across the face. I yelped loudly, and he started throwing blows at me, and he ignored when my mother walked in. She pried him off of me and started yelling at him. He started screaming about how much of a faggot I am. I stared with tears in my eyes as he smacked her across the face, and she quickly fell from the hard blow. I heard a sickening crack as her head hit the table. He turned back to me and pulled me by my hair, and to my feet, punching me on my red cheek.
"Gerard! P-Please hel-" I am cut off by my father punching me in the stomach again, knocking the wind out of me. I gasp for air as he grabs ahold of my throat. I kick and flail as he lifts me off the ground by my windpipe, and forcefully drops me to the ground. I try to look up at the doorway to find Gerard. He has a small pistol in his hand, finger on the trigger and peering through the indention.

I hear loud sirens. See people rushing into the house. Gerard on the couch trembling. Dad on the ground with a pool of blood. Mom being carried off on a stretcher. What is happening...?

The next thing I actually remember was having Gerard leaning over me, removing my Smashing Pumpkins T-shirt. He noted my bruises, and sighed. He moved to pull down my pants as well.
"Dude what are you..." I try, but he looked at me weird.
"Do you not remember how you were Throwing a bitch-fit about it being too hot in here? Plus, the last thing your wounds is to have clothes rubbing against them. "
I shrugged and leaned back against the pillow I was propped up on, the movement immediately causing me to feel dizzier. I brought a hand to my head, to find it bandaged, and looked questionably down at gerard. He caught my glance, and pulled the cold, thin sheets onto my body.
" Dad pulled a blade before I shot him... I'm sorry about not being there sooner, babe..." I sat silently and pulled him down to me.
" Thanks gee... It's okay it's not your fault he is like this..." I looked into his eyes and he kissed my forehead.
"I need to go down to talk to the police. I told them you will not be seeing anyone." I thank him, and drift into sleep.
When I wake up, Gerard is by my side talking quietly with an officer. He has a black un-professional hair cut, including a fringe, and even a lipring and nosering. Gerard notices I'm awake, and the officer introduces himself as 'Officer Iero.' I nod at him, my headache faded. I look at Gerard, begging not to talk. He said no one would come talk to me. He asks questions- simple questions I knew that had been coming.
"How long have these actions been going on?" He asks softly.
"About five years... After my mother had been caught cheating on him. He had a short temper and couldn't trust anyone after that. " I said weakly, and scared of the next questions to come.
"What about your mother? Had she ever done anything inappropriate for a mother?" I shook my head no and looked over at Gerard, who seemed a little offended that the officer assumed our wonderful mother was anything like our father.
"Has there been any attacks as bad as this?" He asks, nibbling slightly on his silver hoop punctured through his bottom lip.
"Yes. Worse, actually- but Gerard always helped me. One time I remember Gerard throwing himself at him... He almost got killed until my mother kicked him out, threatening to call the police. That was his weakness." He nodded slowly, taking notes. He excused himself and left the room, and Gerard started talking about what had happened after my mind started skipping.
"Dad was... Uh.. Pronounced dead..." He mumbles. A part of me wants to cheer, but another reminds me- I have no father now. I shoot up and grab his arm to steady myself.
"What about mom?" I immediately respond. He shrugs and tells me she has a minor concussion, and should be perfectly fine soon.
"She's pretty shooken up though... I think she still loves dad. Even after all the beatings."
"Jesus..." I say, nearly a whisper.
"Mikey?" He says after awhile. I hum a "what?" back to him, and when he doesn't say anything, I look up at him. He takes the hand I had his arm in, and entwines our fingers together.
"Mikey... I'm so sorry about all of this. I should've done something... Called someone... If I would have you would never gotten-" His voice turns into a mixture of desperate and disgust. I cut him off. "Gerard, Stop! It's not your fault, okay? It's his. His problems. Not yours. Plus, I feel fine. It's all okay, okay gee?" I pull him down and hug him tightly. He nods shakily, and I allow him to sit next to me. After my arms start to hurt from my tight grip on him, I release him. I hold his hands in mine gently.
"Gee?" He looks up at me, and turn my gaze from my lap to him.
"Why did you have a gun?"
He stared at me, and stuttered.
"Just tell me." I snap at him.
"Mikes... I didn't really want to show you, but... C'mere." Gerard stood up and helped me out of bed. I walked with him to his room, and he pulled out a box from his closet. I sat on his bed, and he set the plain box next to me. I looked in, and I saw a pack of cigarettes, a lighter, and a paper written in messy ink.
"Gerard?" I asked softly. He told me to read the note and sat down next to me. As my eyes scanned the scribbled words. He began twiddling his thumbs. It was clearly a suicide note, with all the cursing out dad, the police for never caring, and even schools for the torture. He had a section labled 'My sweet Mikey.' I swallowed. What would his last words be to me?
'Mikey. I can't believe I'm doing this. I want you to call the police on that prick who mom married. Please. I can't anymore. I'm so sorry... I know you're strong enough to carry on. But me? I can't. I won't be able to see you again, mikes. I feel horrible for doing this to you, but you'll just have to stay strong. Mikey? I love you. So much... That's one reason I have to go. Okay?-'
I stopped reading. I couldn't see anymore. I'm a reason he has to kill himself? Why does he need to die for loving me back? I couldn't stop the tears from falling. I looked up at him.
"Gee..." I began sobbing unintentionally and hugged him. I cuddled deep into his chest, and couldn't stop myself from making his shirt soaked with tears.
"Mikey it's okay. I think... I think I want to live- Only to see you grow up. Please understand why I was going to do this... It's not like it's your fault. I just meant... What I feel for you is illegal." He wrapped his arms around me and I looked up slightly from his chest. Was he talking about...
"You mean... Incest? Is that what you feel?" I had to ask. I have to know. He nodded slightly.
"I don't like putting it that way. I mean.. Love doesn't care who it chooses to be together. I'm sorry Mikey." I looked up at him.
"Why?" He has nothing to be sorry about...
"For this." He pulled me up and pressed our lips together. He was trembling. My tears that had stopped slightly, came down harder. I moved my lips back against his, and he started fisting at my shirt. It was clear we were nervous.. But this felt perfect. It feels like how we should be. I need this more than anything right now.
I need his love.
I intwined our fingers together and smiled against his lips.
I need My brother's love...