Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > A Lifetime Like This (Spell Out My Denial)
Could You Tell Me About Him?
1 reviewGather round, my dear. We've got a lot to reflect on...
1Ambiance
Well, it's getting close to being... 3 years... since I signed up to this site ^^ I may have been inactive for the vast majority of that time (because I'm a lazy bitch) but, hey... Here's some more crap for you to read and enjoy and reproduce with multiple times- wait... WHAT?! O.o
Forget it, forget it... That never happened.
Anyways... As I was saying... I hope you enjoy this.
xoxo
Nikki
Gerard's POV
I can't help but feel the outcome of this situation is my fault. I pushed him, I pushed him too far. I feel nothing anymore. I fear nothing anymore. I have become blank and emotionless, frozen and motionless, with monotonous words slipping occasionally from my almost muted mouth.
I must remain this way... Forced to communicate with pen and paper, my voice no longer willing to tell you the story. But I'll try. For now.
Because of him.
I loved him, I did. I do. And yet, love was not enough to stop me from hurting him, from destroying him.
I love you. That's why I had to kill you.
I want to make myself believe that it isn't over. I told him I loved him, I told him I worshipped him. And I wasn't lying. I wasn't. I don't remember the day that changed. In fact, I don't think it ever did. Underneath my tough exterior was a barrel crammed full of hurt and agony. The sort of pain that no one can see, but it's always there, niggling until it becomes your only focus. Have you ever felt that?
I had never intended to hurt him, I promise you. I love him. I want him. I need him and- and... He's not coming back.
It's my fault.
I'm the only one to blame. I am, I know. It's too late to take back every insult, every punch, but I never meant it.
Any of it.
I cannot speak, the words I spit out will only hurt you.
I cannot sleep, the thoughts I see are flashbacks that burn.
I cannot cry, my body won't allow any releases as I am not worthy.
I cannot live.
So I must punish myself by staying here.
You're intrigued, you say?
You've never seen such a severe case of denial?
You would like to learn more?
Well...
Gather round, my dear. We've got a lot to reflect on.
Forget it, forget it... That never happened.
Anyways... As I was saying... I hope you enjoy this.
xoxo
Nikki
Gerard's POV
I can't help but feel the outcome of this situation is my fault. I pushed him, I pushed him too far. I feel nothing anymore. I fear nothing anymore. I have become blank and emotionless, frozen and motionless, with monotonous words slipping occasionally from my almost muted mouth.
I must remain this way... Forced to communicate with pen and paper, my voice no longer willing to tell you the story. But I'll try. For now.
Because of him.
I loved him, I did. I do. And yet, love was not enough to stop me from hurting him, from destroying him.
I love you. That's why I had to kill you.
I want to make myself believe that it isn't over. I told him I loved him, I told him I worshipped him. And I wasn't lying. I wasn't. I don't remember the day that changed. In fact, I don't think it ever did. Underneath my tough exterior was a barrel crammed full of hurt and agony. The sort of pain that no one can see, but it's always there, niggling until it becomes your only focus. Have you ever felt that?
I had never intended to hurt him, I promise you. I love him. I want him. I need him and- and... He's not coming back.
It's my fault.
I'm the only one to blame. I am, I know. It's too late to take back every insult, every punch, but I never meant it.
Any of it.
I cannot speak, the words I spit out will only hurt you.
I cannot sleep, the thoughts I see are flashbacks that burn.
I cannot cry, my body won't allow any releases as I am not worthy.
I cannot live.
So I must punish myself by staying here.
You're intrigued, you say?
You've never seen such a severe case of denial?
You would like to learn more?
Well...
Gather round, my dear. We've got a lot to reflect on.
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