FicWad

I try to make it through my life,
In my way, there's you...
I try to make it through these lies
And that's all I do

Brendon. Brendon baby. I love you. Okay. That's a lie. I don't love you. I hate you. With a burning passion. We used to date. We use to have a life with love and passion and romance and laughter. That's all gone now. I wonder what happened to it. What happened to us. We use to stay up all night entwined in a tight warm embrace. Now we're up all night fighting about nothing, or sleeping in different room. I'm now trying to make it through my life. But I can't. Why? Because you're in my way. I've tried to make it through the lies. We say we love each other. Those are lies. Whenever you say you're "working late" we both now that's a big fat lie. You're probably having sex with one of your multiple flings. Getting wasted at the bar and coming home smelling of some dude or chick you picked up. That's all I do now and day. Try and make it through my life, and make it through these lies.

If you were dead or still alive,
I don't care,
I don't care
Just go and leave this all behind,
Cause I swear,
I don't care

You say you love me, and that you'd be devastated if I died. That is a BIG lie Bren. C'mon. We both know it. Let's just stop pretending. You know what? I honestly wouldn't care if you were dead or still alive. I swear, I honestly wouldn't care. Leave this, leave us behind. Let's break up. You don't care, I sure as hell don't care. C'mon. It'll be easier for us both if we just ended it right here and now.

I try to make you see my side
Always try to stay in line
But your eyes see right through
That's all they do
I'm getting burried in this place
I've got no room your in my face
Don't say anything and just go away

I've tried countless times to make you see what I see. Maybe you do. Honestly. I don't know if you do. I doubt it. You keep saying "we'll work through this, we will baby I know." What do you know? What will we work through? What are we going through? You've always tried to stay in line. You're eyes see right through. See right through what really happening. That's all they do. I'm getting burried in this house. I feel like I'm in a early grave. I feel dead. I feel lifeless on those nights when we actually have sex. It's not the kind of sex we had when we were truly in love. No. It's just the kind of sex that is a reminder that we're dating and not just two dudes who live together. Don't say anything Brendon, just go away.

If you were dead or still alive,
I don't care,
I don't care
Just go and leave this all behind,
Cause I swear,
I don't care


I am not changing everything cause,
You won't be there for me



I am not changing everything cause,
You won't be there for me

I'm not going to change everything I know you wouldn't be there for me. So, what I am going to change is us. We're going to officially end whatever is left of us dating.

If you were dead or still alive,
I don't care,
I don't care
Just go and leave this all behind,
Cause I swear,
I don't care


If you were dead or still alive,
I don't care, I don't care,
I don't care, I don't care,
Just go and leave this all behind,
I don't care
I swear, I don't care

"Brendon. I hate you. I think we should end it. We're not working out. We'll never work out..."

"Frank-" I cut him off.

"Bren. We both know it. Stop pretending. Stop lying. I love you but I hate you more. My stuff is already packed and in my car. I wish you the best of luck with life. But lets be honest with ourselves. If we were dead or still alive neither one of us would care." And with that I walked out the door and out of his life.

At all.