FicWad

"Worthless." I say to myself as I slice again on my skin.
"Guilty."
"Killer."
Slicing again and again on my wrist as I say the sick things that I was,that I am.

It was all my fault,everything was my fucking fault.I cried myself to sleep,knowing I could never see her smiling face again.
Never hear her laughs,her songs.

Never see my Mia again.

"Die."I chant over and over as I cut deeper into the dark red vein.I see the blood leak out of me.I smile to myself as I watched the colour drain from my cheeks and the green leave my eyes.My hand goes numb and I drop the blade,before I fall to the ground.

I feel myself shake as I slowly die.I see my blood run onto the bathroom floor and it blurs my vision.My pulse goes slower and slower as my breathing quickens,as does my heart.

You can cry all you want to.I don't care how much,you'll invest yourself in me.

I begin laughing at all those things that were said to me,just days before the new year.

Goth.

Emo.

Fat.

Those names made me physically sick,yet I never let it damage me inside.
Until now.

The words impacted with this new information.
I never mean't it to go this far.
She thought I was dead,she tried to die.
Because I said I would,but I didn't.

With my last dying breath I screamed.

I stopped bleeding three years ago,while you keep screaming for revolution.

My heartbeat quickened faster and faster as I heard the scurried footsteps.The bathroom door burst open,and my parents were crouched behind me,scooping me up and cradling me as their daughter died.

I died that night,because I couldn't take the responsiblity of losing someone so close to me,that it kills me inside.

This,was my last night.
This,is my last night.

I want to say sorry to everyone one last time.I feel so responsible for what happened to Mia,it's all my fault.
Don't lie to me,tell me the fucking truth.
Tell me what you really feel about me,don't sugarcoat it saying you love me and don't wish to see me dead.
Go right down into your core,AJ did.
She isn't my friend anymore,not like she was before.
Meet Sadie Hobbs,The Girl Who Fucked Everything Up and lost so many people so dear to me.
Tell me the truth,am I really that bad a person?