FicWad

Dumb fucking cuts that liter my skin, red lines screaming out at any who see.
I'm not crazy, I love the pain.
I'm not depressed, oh wait, yes I am.
The stinging feels so good, the searing pain that circulates through my body.
The addiction is the cure, it's going to get worse before it gets better.

The sun may shine on a rainy day, everyone outside soaking all the rays.
All alone I will stay hidden away.
Invisible is what I am, but shadow walks but behind me.
That shadow that follows closely, eating the dust.
I the self conscious one is disturbed by my childish fears.
My shadow lives the double life, courageous and outgoing.
There with me by day, but abandons me at night.
Yet I seem to be the one still fading away.

May one day I rest in peace, and party with the devil.
Come one day I desire to come out of the grave, bury my past to leave trailing me.
Sure I could I become that rebel, maybe I could reach the next level.

The everlasting faith I had in myself, has obviously had clouded out of view.
Walk down that old avenue, that holds my memories.
Locked away in a safe buried six feet under.
But the burned down playground with the twisted gates, closed away from the public.

Burning buildings, looks like an apocalypse.
It's time for me and my alter ego to have a fix.

Not that I'm high on life, more high on death.
Danger excites me, and all of you are to goddamn polite to me.
At half past midnight tonight wait for the invite.
Let's call for a rewrite.

These degrading messages, possibilities of when those concerts start.
Screaming crowd, mixed with sweat, beer, drugs, and anticipation.
You used to be them, now your on the stage.
Backstage with the chaos you are, waiting for your moment.
I am with you, close behind.

All those thoughts fly around in my head though.
Endless thoughts with all those lies to me you fed.
Crying silently, holding back my tears, torn up by all my youthful phobias.
Disoriented mind tricks that they play on me.

Lips sewn shut for good, never again will I speak again
When the bells ring, the playground is burned, and we're all right back where we belong.

You loved me then, but use me now.
Can't we turn back the time?

Close the curtains, no one shall see my shame.
Or ever remember my five minutes of fame.
Go back to the record shops, put on a track for me, dear.

Give me one more shot, lets create unforgetful memories
Our own secrets, light them up like the fire in me,
Just one more fucking screw up to set you free.
Society doesn't care so I guess I'll just drop and leave, and I'll rip my heart off my sleeve.
No longer am I dead on the inside, but on the outside as well.

-
Whatever this is I have no fucking clue. I just felt like writing, didn't help much with anything. But I don't care. Have my 'wonderful' poetry. Abbie xxx