FicWad

This is what she sees in her mirror.

Too skinny. Ribs stick out. Hips too. Wrists covered in red. Bruised.

She has her routine.

Get up. Cut. Breakfast. Get ready for school. Bus. Bathroom. Vomit. Class. Break. Cut. Class. Bathroom. Cry. Vomit. Cut. Bus. Home. Smile. Cry. Cut. Homework. Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut.

She fakes her smile.

"Are you okay?" "Yes, of course." "Are you depressed?" "No, why?" "You look a little down." "I'm fine."

She hates herself.

Fat. Slut. Whore. Useless. Fuck-up. Freak. Loser.

She forms a plan.

Knife. Night. Dark. Happy. Pills.

She spends her day in her typical pattern.

Get up. Cut. Breakfast. Get ready for school. Bus. Bathroom. Vomit. Class. Break. Cut. Class. Bathroom. Cry. Vomit. Cut. Bus. Home. Smile. Cry. Cut. Homework. Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut.

Then, it's night.

She grabs her pills.

Shuffle. Quiet. Shuffle. Shuffle. Door. Creak. Bathroom. Pills. Grab. Out.

She sneaks to the kitchen.

Booze. Booze. Vodka. Vodka. Vodka.

She sneaks back to her room.

And it begins.

Pill. Vodka. Pill. Vodka. Pill. Vodka. Pill. Vodka. Pill. Vodka. Pill. Vodka. Pill. Vodka. Pill. Vodka. Cut. Vodka. Pill. Vodka. Pill. Vodka. Pill. Vodka. Pill. Vodka. Pill. Vodka. Pill. Vodka. Pill. Vodka. Pill. Vodka. Pill. Vodka. Pill. Vodka. Pill. Vodka. Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut.

She's bleeding.

It's not enough.

CUT. CUT. CUT. DEEP. BLOOD. VEIN. CUT. CUT. CUT. CUTCUTCUTCUTCUTCUTCUTCUTCUTCUTCUTCUTCUTCUTCUTCUT.

And it goes black.

Death. Abyss. Hell? Heaven?

Bright lights.

Hospital bed.

"Are you okay?" "Why did you do it?"

Therapy.

They think she's fixed.

Get up. Cut. Breakfast. Get ready for school. Bus. Bathroom. Vomit. Class. Break. Cut. Class. Bathroom. Cry. Vomit. Cut. Bus. Home. Smile. Cry. Cut. Homework. Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut.

No.

Suicide. Suicide. Suicide.