Categories > Original > Historical > THE LONGENING
ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS A KARKAT AND THIS GIRL CAME UP TO HIM AND WAS LIKE "HI MY NAME IS FFFFFF" AND HE COULD TELL AS HE LOOKED AT HER THAT SHE WAS AN ASS AND PROBABLY IN THE MEXICAN MAFIA AND THEN SHE IS LIKE "I AM YOUR LOVER" AND HE WAS LIKE "WHEN THE FUCK WAS THAT ESTABLISHED" AND THEN SHE EXPLODED BECAUSE THAT NEVER WAS ESTABLISHED AND ALSO BECAUSE THE OTHER MEXICAN MAFIA HAD PLANTED LIVE EXPLOSIVES IN HER SOUP AN HOUR AGO.
MEANWHILE THERE WAS A SOLLUX AND HE WAS CODING BULLSHIT BUT THEN HE HAD TO PISS SO HE WENT TO FIND THE PLACE WHERE YOU PISS BUT IN THE HALLWAY NEPETA AND ERIDAN WERE FUCKING SO HE DECIDED TO PISS ON THEM AND THIS MADE NEPETA CRY AND SO ERIDAN SHOT SOLLUX IN THE FACE AND SOLLUX DIED AND ERIDNA WAS GOING TO CONTINUE WITH NEPETA BUT SHE DIED FROM BEING PISSED ON. HE TREID TO COMMTI SUICIDE BY CUTTING HIS THROAT OPEN BUT HE SURVIVED BECAUSR. SUDDENLY HE GOT TELEPORTED INTO THE MIDDEL OF GTHE OCREAN OF ALCOHOL AND IT GOT INTO HIS GILLS AND THE PART OF HIS THROAT HE CUT OPEN AND HE STARTED SCREAMING EBGAUSE IT HURT LIKE FUCK BUT BEFORE HE COULD DIE FROM BREATHING A BUNCH OF ALCOHOL HE WAS RESCUED BY ALCOHOL PIRATES AND SINCE HE WAS NOW VERY DRUNK ABD THEY WERE VERY DRINK THEY PROCEEDED TO HAVE A VERY DRUNK CONVERSATION AND IT WENT SOMETHING LIKE THIS
"ALKADSFLKNDGLNDGLKGNSDLKFN"
"aklndskdsknwwleabsfdnsfklnww"
"LKANFLKEFSLEAFAIRENLFKCXKXZLXLEEWLK"
"lkgdnfosenrwwnfalsknflksdnvvnakldnfldnsofenrlewwel"
AND AFTER A ROUSING GAME OF PUCNH EACHOTHR IN THE FACE HE WAS ALLOWNED TO STAY IN THIS SMALL ROOM IN THE SHIRP SOMEWEHREE. HE WENT TO SLEEP BECAUSRE HE WAS TIRED AND DRUNK.
AFTER THE KARKAT RETUREND TO WHEREVRE HE FOUND OUT THAT SOLLUX WAS DEAD AND HE CRIED HALF HIS FACE OFF AND FREAKD OUT AOBUT IT (HE DIDN'T GIVE TWO DICK LAUNCHERS ABOUT NEPETA)AND GGAGMZEE TRIED TO HELP HIMS TOPFREAKING THE FUCK TOU AND KARKAT STOPPED FOR AWHILE BUT THEN TEREZI CAME IN AND TOLD HIM THEY WERE OUT OF JUICE AND HE CRIED THE OTHER HALF OF HIS FACE OFF OFF AND IT WAS NOW GAMZEE'S DUTY TO AVENGE THE SOLUX BEC AUSE KAKRAT COULD NOT BE EXPECTED TODO IT WHILE HE WSA LIKE THIS. SO EHE SET OFF ONTHE QUEST TO AVENTGE THE SOLLUX. BUT FIRST HE HAD TO FIND OUT HWO HAD KILLED THE OSLLUX, AND HE ALSO NEEDED TO DECAPITATE THE CORPSE OF THE SOLLUX BECAUSE HE WAS GAMZEE. SO HE DID THE SECOND THING AND THEN SET OFF TO DO THE FIRST THING.
MEANWHILE ERIDAN WAS WATCHING TV BECAUSE THE SHIP GOT CABLE FOR SOME REASON AND HE SAW ON THE MAGI AL NEWS BROADCASET THAT FEFERI WAS DEAD BECAUSE SOMEBODY HAD EATEN HALF HER FACE AND SHE DIED FROM A FACE INFECTION FISE DAYS LATER. HE WAS UPSET BUT HE DID NOT CRTY AT ALL BECAUSES HE DEICIDED IT WAS FFOR THE EBEST, AND ALSO FUCK FEFERI ANYWAYS. BUT THEN HE NOTICED THAT THE TV WAS LEAKING AND FEFERI BLOOD FOT EVERYWHERE SO HE TOUCHED IT AND THEN TOUCHED HIS FACE. IT WAS THEN THAT HE NOTICED THE TENTACLE COMING UP FROM A SMALL HOLE IN HE BOAT. THIS WAS BECAUSE IT HAD GRABBED HIS FOOT AND WAS PULLING HIM CLOSER. HE KICKED AND SCREAMED AND THEN WHEN HE ESCAPED ITS GRIB HE TOOK A BOOK AND HE SMASHED IT UNTIL IT WENT AWAY AND THEN PUT THE BOOK ON THE HOLE SO IT COULDN'T POKE BACK IN.
GAMZEE WAS ASKGING AROUDN TO SEE IF ANYONE KNEW WHO KILLED SOLLSUX. "uH, i'LL BET IT WAS, vRISKA," SAID TAVROS. EVERYBODY TOLD TAVROS TO FUCK OFF BECASUE NOBODY LIKES TAVROS. HE WENT AND CRIED AND TRIPPED ON HIS OWN STUPID ROBOT FOOT AND GOT STABBED IN THE THROAT BY A STAKE THAT WAS LYING AROUND AND HE DIED. NOBODY GAEV A SHIT, ESPECIALLY NOT GAMZEE. HOWEEVRE, GAMZEE DID TAKE THE HEAD FROM HIS CORSPE BECAUSE GAMZEE IS GAMZEE. EVERNTUALLTY GAMZEE SOMEHOW FIGURED OUT THAT IT WAS ERIDAN THAT KILELD THE SOLLUX. HE TRIEDSD TO FIND ERIDAN BUT HE COULD NTO AND HE WONDERED WHERE THE FUCK THAT GUY WAS. HE HAD NO WAY OF KNOWITTNG THATHE WAS ON AN ALCOHOL PIRATE SHIP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ALCOHOLS OCEAN, BUT SOMEHWOE HE WAS GOINGTO FINSD OUT. HE WENT OGUSIDE AND ADSDKED AROUND ADN SOMEHOW SOMEBODY KNWEW AND TOLD HIM. SO HE BEGERAN HIS TRIP TO THE OCRAEN OF ALCOOHL. HE HAAD NO IDEAD HOW TO GRTY THERE BUT IT COUDLNT'R POSSIBLY BE THAT FARAWAY, I EAMNSERIOUSLY.
BUT IT WAS THAT FAR AWAY.
MEANWHILE THERE WAS A SOLLUX AND HE WAS CODING BULLSHIT BUT THEN HE HAD TO PISS SO HE WENT TO FIND THE PLACE WHERE YOU PISS BUT IN THE HALLWAY NEPETA AND ERIDAN WERE FUCKING SO HE DECIDED TO PISS ON THEM AND THIS MADE NEPETA CRY AND SO ERIDAN SHOT SOLLUX IN THE FACE AND SOLLUX DIED AND ERIDNA WAS GOING TO CONTINUE WITH NEPETA BUT SHE DIED FROM BEING PISSED ON. HE TREID TO COMMTI SUICIDE BY CUTTING HIS THROAT OPEN BUT HE SURVIVED BECAUSR. SUDDENLY HE GOT TELEPORTED INTO THE MIDDEL OF GTHE OCREAN OF ALCOHOL AND IT GOT INTO HIS GILLS AND THE PART OF HIS THROAT HE CUT OPEN AND HE STARTED SCREAMING EBGAUSE IT HURT LIKE FUCK BUT BEFORE HE COULD DIE FROM BREATHING A BUNCH OF ALCOHOL HE WAS RESCUED BY ALCOHOL PIRATES AND SINCE HE WAS NOW VERY DRUNK ABD THEY WERE VERY DRINK THEY PROCEEDED TO HAVE A VERY DRUNK CONVERSATION AND IT WENT SOMETHING LIKE THIS
"ALKADSFLKNDGLNDGLKGNSDLKFN"
"aklndskdsknwwleabsfdnsfklnww"
"LKANFLKEFSLEAFAIRENLFKCXKXZLXLEEWLK"
"lkgdnfosenrwwnfalsknflksdnvvnakldnfldnsofenrlewwel"
AND AFTER A ROUSING GAME OF PUCNH EACHOTHR IN THE FACE HE WAS ALLOWNED TO STAY IN THIS SMALL ROOM IN THE SHIRP SOMEWEHREE. HE WENT TO SLEEP BECAUSRE HE WAS TIRED AND DRUNK.
AFTER THE KARKAT RETUREND TO WHEREVRE HE FOUND OUT THAT SOLLUX WAS DEAD AND HE CRIED HALF HIS FACE OFF AND FREAKD OUT AOBUT IT (HE DIDN'T GIVE TWO DICK LAUNCHERS ABOUT NEPETA)AND GGAGMZEE TRIED TO HELP HIMS TOPFREAKING THE FUCK TOU AND KARKAT STOPPED FOR AWHILE BUT THEN TEREZI CAME IN AND TOLD HIM THEY WERE OUT OF JUICE AND HE CRIED THE OTHER HALF OF HIS FACE OFF OFF AND IT WAS NOW GAMZEE'S DUTY TO AVENGE THE SOLUX BEC AUSE KAKRAT COULD NOT BE EXPECTED TODO IT WHILE HE WSA LIKE THIS. SO EHE SET OFF ONTHE QUEST TO AVENTGE THE SOLLUX. BUT FIRST HE HAD TO FIND OUT HWO HAD KILLED THE OSLLUX, AND HE ALSO NEEDED TO DECAPITATE THE CORPSE OF THE SOLLUX BECAUSE HE WAS GAMZEE. SO HE DID THE SECOND THING AND THEN SET OFF TO DO THE FIRST THING.
MEANWHILE ERIDAN WAS WATCHING TV BECAUSE THE SHIP GOT CABLE FOR SOME REASON AND HE SAW ON THE MAGI AL NEWS BROADCASET THAT FEFERI WAS DEAD BECAUSE SOMEBODY HAD EATEN HALF HER FACE AND SHE DIED FROM A FACE INFECTION FISE DAYS LATER. HE WAS UPSET BUT HE DID NOT CRTY AT ALL BECAUSES HE DEICIDED IT WAS FFOR THE EBEST, AND ALSO FUCK FEFERI ANYWAYS. BUT THEN HE NOTICED THAT THE TV WAS LEAKING AND FEFERI BLOOD FOT EVERYWHERE SO HE TOUCHED IT AND THEN TOUCHED HIS FACE. IT WAS THEN THAT HE NOTICED THE TENTACLE COMING UP FROM A SMALL HOLE IN HE BOAT. THIS WAS BECAUSE IT HAD GRABBED HIS FOOT AND WAS PULLING HIM CLOSER. HE KICKED AND SCREAMED AND THEN WHEN HE ESCAPED ITS GRIB HE TOOK A BOOK AND HE SMASHED IT UNTIL IT WENT AWAY AND THEN PUT THE BOOK ON THE HOLE SO IT COULDN'T POKE BACK IN.
GAMZEE WAS ASKGING AROUDN TO SEE IF ANYONE KNEW WHO KILLED SOLLSUX. "uH, i'LL BET IT WAS, vRISKA," SAID TAVROS. EVERYBODY TOLD TAVROS TO FUCK OFF BECASUE NOBODY LIKES TAVROS. HE WENT AND CRIED AND TRIPPED ON HIS OWN STUPID ROBOT FOOT AND GOT STABBED IN THE THROAT BY A STAKE THAT WAS LYING AROUND AND HE DIED. NOBODY GAEV A SHIT, ESPECIALLY NOT GAMZEE. HOWEEVRE, GAMZEE DID TAKE THE HEAD FROM HIS CORSPE BECAUSE GAMZEE IS GAMZEE. EVERNTUALLTY GAMZEE SOMEHOW FIGURED OUT THAT IT WAS ERIDAN THAT KILELD THE SOLLUX. HE TRIEDSD TO FIND ERIDAN BUT HE COULD NTO AND HE WONDERED WHERE THE FUCK THAT GUY WAS. HE HAD NO WAY OF KNOWITTNG THATHE WAS ON AN ALCOHOL PIRATE SHIP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ALCOHOLS OCEAN, BUT SOMEHWOE HE WAS GOINGTO FINSD OUT. HE WENT OGUSIDE AND ADSDKED AROUND ADN SOMEHOW SOMEBODY KNWEW AND TOLD HIM. SO HE BEGERAN HIS TRIP TO THE OCRAEN OF ALCOOHL. HE HAAD NO IDEAD HOW TO GRTY THERE BUT IT COUDLNT'R POSSIBLY BE THAT FARAWAY, I EAMNSERIOUSLY.
BUT IT WAS THAT FAR AWAY.
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