FicWad

Here are the main points as to why I want to be more dead than alive right now;

1. I do nothing with my life and don't deserve to live

2. I am constantly decreasing in my intelligence and concentration so everything is hard now.

3. I fear my mum's smoking may be behind this decline but I am too scared to tell her because then I am essentially telling her that it is her fault her daughter is a train wreck.

4. I can't physically tell people my problems by talking and resort to the kindness of random strangers on the internet.

5. I don't even know what is wrong with me which makes me like this.

6. I'm scared of talking in case I get someone I know in trouble, even if what I am saying isn't bad.

7. I don't even know if I am alive since I don't have any faith

8. I am too scared to kill myself in case there is nothing

9. That fear is becoming less of a bad thing to me

10. I can't keep going on if my mind continues to regress....It is the only good thing about me.