FicWad

Screaming. It is the verbal thing that pierces my eardrums. Screaming, there’s more, non-verbal. Shards of distant memories or thoughts, scattering in my mind for release. I scream and cry, pain and frustration of disregarded voices crowding a mind that I can no longer call my own. Some voices are nice, and try to help, they calm me, but not fully. Some like to pretend, but then they change and seize hold of you, making you do horrible things. I fell once, it’s how I ended here. As my mind starts to calm down and the voices leave, I realize I am now alone, with the odd hollow scream. Then laughter reaches my ears. A sensation of happiness and hope rings through the transparent halls. I ran to the door gripping the small square of bars. Two white suits stood holding a man in a black t-shirt and dark denim jeans. His head was hung forward in hysterical laughter, another white suit un-locked the door. I watched in amazement as the laughing good was thrown in.

I slept that night without waking, the laughing rocking me to sleep, The next day as I lined up to take my medicine cold hands gently laid down on my shoulders. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you.”
The cold menacing words slithered into my left ear. I downed the bitter sweet potion that silences the party in my head.

The next hour was a blur and I found myself sitting at a cafeteria table sitting with green eyes, black hair and the front of that black t-shirt that apparently had splashes of pink paint. He grinned I wide, large, inhuman grin and began that tune of hysterical melody that so gently rocked me to sleep.
“Ah, those meds. Get me every time!” He hit me on the back and began laughing again. “So kid what you in for?” He asked, sounding like a talk show host trying to squeeze out the gossip as if I were a lemon!
“No words? Okay, I’ve already asked around. Word on the Straight Jacket is, you held a day care hostage.” More hysterical laughter, “Eighteen, what a wondrous stage to loose your mind. We are much the same you, and yours truly.” His enormous grin widened. “But that was four years ago.”

And that’s how our conversations usually went. He’d ask me questions, I would barely answer, and he’d go off into his own experiences. The weeks went by and soon I realized that I looked forward to our unusual time spent together in this bleak torture chamber. His smile warmed my heart more than the bitter sting of the medicine, and his laugh gave me shivers like my monthly shots. But just like the voices in my head, residents in my now snow white wonderland tried to warn me away from him.
“You must stay away.” One of the kind elderly ladies pulled me away as I was about to enter the cafeteria. Wrinkles embedded her face like deep cut wounds. She wore a light green nighty, she was about to go in for testing to see if her medicine needed changing. I frowned at her, then I remembered, Mrs. Mengele from Gunzburg in Germany, she sees twins who haunt and terrorize her. I smiled and patted her short grey curls.
“Don’t worry.” I told her in my most reassuring voice. “They won’t get me.” I said walking off, pushing through the two huge doors into the cafeteria. Behind me I could hear Mrs. Mengele calling,
“He will be the end of your sanity!”
Oddly, it was a sentence I’d heard many times, through the echo’s and screams in my hollow head. Remembering the screams, it brought them slamming back into my mind and I sunk in the sea of their noises, projecting at me.
“Let him go.”
“We want money!”
“A plane!”
“Too young to die.”
“Just pull the trigger!”
Then I felt two sharp hooks lift me out. “Whoa there little lady.” It was my Angel of Mercy lifting me out of the haze. “We can’t go off following the Sirens yet.” He said patting me on the head and dragging me to a chair. Thud. I was relieved to be on a hard surface. But as my cold sweat slid down the side of my paling face something dawned on me.
“Name.” I said stupidly.
“At last! She speaks!” My Angel of Mercy preached in hysteria as began to roll on the cold linen floor.
“What is your name?”
He stopped and looked up at me, an evil grin taking form of his face, making the medicine in my system bubble and boil. “Oh come now Toot’s, don’t tell me you’ve actually been taking your medication!” He exclaimed jumping up off the cold floor. Pause. He was building up his next speech and I would hang on to every word.
“What’s a name in a place like this anyway Dollface?” He grabbed my hand and pulled me up. “All they’ll do is forget it.” He twirled me in so he was holding me. I could feel my face blushing and heart racing. He wagged his eye brows at me. “So might as well give em’ something else to remember you by!” He sang as he spun me out. I shook my head.
“Come Dollface!” He said patting the seat next to him at one of the tables. “I’ve got a vision.” His left arm slid around my shoulders like a snake. “You and I, on a golden beach, in the sizzling sun.” At that moment I knew he meant breaking out of here, and I knew I’d follow this man anywhere without question, no matter how scared I was. My medication had been working, naturally, I was terrified. And he could see that.
“So when do we start?”
My Angels grin widened and grew breath takingly evil. It was a beautifully, delicious smile, one any sane person would be afraid of.
“You see that man over there? One more strike and he’ll be back in a straight jacket!” He pointed laughing at a huge man standing in line for his medicine. Angel turned back to me, one finger over his thin pale lips. I leaned closer to hear the secret. “I’ve swapped his medicine.”
We both threw back out heads in laughter.
“Once he’s drunken his we’ll both run to the main gate and tell the people there.” He started to explain the plan.
“But one person will stay there to keep the gate from opening.” I kept my eyes on the target.
“That’s when you begin to meltdown, when they leave the booth I’ll get them from behind!”
I jumped up as muscle man took his medicine and began to run, I smiled knowing my Angel was right behind me.

As we arrived at the gate that goes off into the next ward I began screaming, “A patients loosing it! He took the wrong medicine! All guards need help!” Instantly four of the guards ran, leaving the new gate keeper alone in the booth. I watched the guards run off then clutched my head screaming. I felt like a child again. I’d never known such fun. A pair of hands were on me then a “Oof!” and the Gate Keeper fell over my shoulder. I stood smiling pushing the unconscious body off of me. I got a fright when I saw him undressing. Turning away with a blood red face I heard him laugh,
“Don’t worry Dollface, hand me his clothes, this is the next part!”
I followed my Angels instructions and hid the body in the booth and hit every red button, sounding alarms and opening not only one gate, but I imagine, quite a few. I was then seized from behind and cuffed. I screamed out for my Angel scared he had deserted me. I panicked.
“Calm down Dollface, this is part two!” Angel snickered and walked me through all the halls. Each time we encountered someone he would calmly explain my ‘condition’. My heart raced and I was getting scared again, but what worried me was my mind, overflowing with pounding voices demanding various things of me. I soon began to give in and let them overflow and take over. Then my Angel of Mercy came to my rescue again, he shook me and whispered,
“Don’t give up yet kiddo, we’re almost there.”
“Where are we going Angel?” I asked far too exhausted to explain the question. But I knew he knew what I meant. After a few seconds of silence, he finally answered.
“To the beginning of our life together.” I could hear the smile on his lips, and all senses came back to me.
“Where is everyone?” I asked.
“East side, Dollface. Someone tampered with the medicine, it cause I riot!” He shouted the last word incredulously. We both started to laugh and I was un-cuffed.
“Come Dollface, let’s race to the door!”
I let out an excited scream as I followed behind the man I was undoubtedly in love with. The halls and corridors seemed to zoom past me as I felt I was going at super sonic speed, and my laughter trailed behind me. The door came in view, my Angel turned and took my hand, he pulled me, pushed me through the open doorway. I shielded my eyes from the bright sunlight. I turned back to look at my Angel in pure joy. He was leaning in the doorway smiling.
“Now,” He begun, “you know where to find me.” Those words hollowed and echoed. My vision blurred and the sirens of the Asylum turned to ones of police cars. The last I saw was his happy face, waving me off.

As my vision came back, I heard the voice through the loudspeaker repeating his demand. I looked down as I felt something squirm in my arm, as the Negotiator tried to reason with me. I was back at the Day Care centre I held hostage, a little blonde boy with freckles I held cuffed by my right arm, a pistol in my left. The far away laughter of my sweet love echoing in my head.
“What’s a name in a place like this . . . all they’ll do it forget it.” His voice echoed in my head.
“Is there anything we can give you in exchange for this boys life?” The negotiator asked. I looked around at the barricade of police cars in front of me through the window of inside the Day Care. Loves laughter grew louder and I realized it was my own.
“Nothing!” I screamed in melancholy happiness and pulled the trigger, on the blonde, freckled, little boy.