FicWad

The girl that overdosed was me.
Your a coward, but could I also be?
Me the one who shied away from comfort, even though I craved it so.

MAYBE IT WAS ME ALL ALONG.
My fault, a fault in the stars.
Under the dark fucking sky, black city sky.

I PUT MYSELF IN ISOLATION.

THE BRUISES THAT LITTERED MY SKIN.
I did that.
THE BURNS THAT SCARRED MY BODY.
Fire was my friend.

IM INSANE.
IM CRAZY.
I'm sorry.

I hid away from help, I didn't ask.
This suicide was my own doing.
MY CRIME.
MY SIN.
MY MISTAKE.
BLAME IT ON ME.

Date and time unknown.

I COULD OF GOTTEN HELP.
I could of gotten better.
But I didn't.
I WAS AFRAID.
Afraid of help, afraid of being okay.
SCARED OF HAPPINESS.

I'm not up in my own place, I'm down on earth. Waiting for you.

I CAN'T REST IN PEACE UNTIL IM HAPPY.

What is happiness?

I haven't had the feeling of joy in so long, I've forgotten it.
But I had a smile on my lips and cuts on my hips.

I NEED A REMEDY.
MEDICINE TO HELP.
IT MADE ME ROT LIKE THE WRETCHED FRUIT OF THE GARDEN OF HADES.
BUT IM GONE.
THE PHONE CORD IS CLIPPED.
THE DIAL TONE IS SCREAMING IN YOUR EAR.
I'VE HUNG UP MY LIFE.
MY PAST IS IN CARDBOARD BOXES GATHERING DUST IN THE CORNER.

I'm a skeleton.
Nothing but a corpse, lying in a box, buried by dirt.
Grass grows over top and people dance on my graves.
The grass never cut, messy grave. Weeds and vines wrapped around my gravestone.
Messy.

I could of gotten help.
Maybe I was the coward.
MY COWARDLY ATTITUDE.
I was a pessimist. A quitter.

GET ME OUT OF MY MIND.
IT'S COLLAPSING DOWN ON ME.
I'M TRAPPED INSIDE MY THOUGHTS.
BUT,I DONT NEED HELP ANYMORE.
I'm already dead.

THE WALLFLOWER. THE LONER. THE QUITTER.

I was the coward. The quitter.
The one who gave up, the one that got away.

-

This isn't as nearly good as 'Coward'. But here. I re-read Coward many times today and thought of this.