FicWad

So yeah, I dont even know what this is. it's late. I'm slightly mental. meh. i'll upload it anyway.



"You can only see the bad side sometimes, which leads you to believe there isn't a good side. It's like when the clouds block the sun. The bad stuff is blocking the good stuff, but you can be sure the good stuff is there somewhere" He whispered, threading his fingers through my hair.


I thought about this for a mere moment before replying, "how do you find it?"


"You don't, you have to wait until the bad stuff has cleared. Only then will the good stuff shine through brighter than ever. Waiting until the rain is over for the rainbow Frankie."


"I dont like waiting for something i know wont come." I muttered, bringing my knees up to my face.


"Ah, so you're saying you're doubting the sun? But the sun is always there Frankie."


"I'm not doubting that it's there, i'm doubting that i'll ever be able to step out of the shade."


"But the clouds always clear in the end. And if there too long, you start growing fond of them right? In the winter you start to like the gloomy hanging clouds, because you realize they are also waiting for the same thing as you summer, or happiness"


"But there is always shade, it's safer in the shade. it doesnt lie to me, it will always be there, it doesnt have to go, and it wont leave until you want it to. it's secure and it wont leave me behind." I explained. He was wrong. He just didn't understand.


"The shade is deceiving you. It wants a friend. It wants you to stay there forever. It can only be happy once you leave and become happy. If you stay, then the shade will have a reason to be gloomy, but if you go, it will become happy because it does not have to suck the happiness from anybody."


"But then i'm alone... and when the shade comes back i'll have no where to turn. what if the shade never forgives me?? then i'll be alone again..." I feel as if i'm shoting now. I dont know why I am, but I know it's true.


"You do not want the shades forgiveness. Because once out of the shade the sunshine can reach you. The sun has been trying to get you for ages, but when you come close, the fake comfort of shade draws you back in. Be brave, step out, the sun will make things better" He soothes, tracing circles up and down my back.


"But the shade helps... when im in the shade i dont have to fight to keep myself alive."


"No but that's because you've experienced the middle of shade and the edge you have to run through the dark dangerous forest part of the shade to sun quickly. The dark part is devised to make you feel so bad about yourself that you run to shade again, it's a tactic. It doesn't want you to reach the sun, which is the place you need to be"


"What if i dont want to reach the sun?? what if it's to hard, what if i give up to easy and im stuck in limbo forever?? how could i even attempt to leave my safety only to be in even deeper?? why would i do that?? to lie to people?? to pretend that people care?? no-on actually ever gives a shit. they just lead you on until your at your most vunerable then they leave, your castle of sunshine crumbles around you and the clouds come back. what do you then?? why should you stay just for that few moments of sun??" I'm shouting. I'm blubbering. I can feel myself crying.


"But the sun lasts forever if you are willing to accept it. Run out of the shade. Quickly. Don't stop in the forest. Ignore the forests comments and taunts. It wants to hurt you." It's not that easy Gerard, how could it possibly be that easy??


"What if i want it to hurt me Gerard, what then?"


"What if I run with you?"


"What if I don't make it?"


"What if you do? You could sit and wait for the forest to pass so you have an easy journey to sun which could take your whole life and run the risk of the enemy consuming you.
Or you could take my hand and never be afraid again. You could close your eyes and run through the forest until you reach the sunlight. I'd hold on tight"


"I'll run. I'll run with you as long as you promise never to let go." I grasped his hand.


"Only if you promise me something? Don't let the forest get you. Cut the vines that grab your ankles as you run and close your mind to the taunts the snakes hiss that make you want to go back to the middle of the shade"


"I promise." I whisper, kissing each knuckle as i go.


"I promise to never let go until we reach the sunshine."





I don't even know what this is... i don't really like it. i might delete it in a couple of days, but meh. who cares right?? right. well baiii.