FicWad

It was a Thursday night.My heart had been shattered into a thousand pieces... I cant believe i told her ,by lunch everyone knew.I cant believe sh would betray me like that. How could she? Could i ever trust her again?

I had all these emotions running through my head.I wasn't thinking straight. Am i confused? I cant believe i found myself being humiliated, it felt like i was being watched, stared at every time i walked into the room.I could hear people laughing and sneering at me , like they were better than me but they weren't. I should of said something but instead i just...retreated back into my shell,feeling upset and lonely.I wasn't strong enough. i can't believe it,i actually just did this.

The next day i plucked up the courage to tell my dad , he was surprised but not disappointed. He just told me your my daughter and i love you, i don't care if you are or your not.I cried dad please don't tell mum, she won't look at me in the same way again.

Dad shouted me down for school, so i came down and mum said get in the car and she drove me to school.In the car there was an eerie silence. I couldn't tell her.What would she think of me? I can't bear the thought of her disowning me and maybe she wont think i am important to her anymore.

We arrived at school;I got out of the car. I started to cry as i walked through the school gates, all i thought about is that no-one will understand.Everyone will be ashamed of me.I cant live through life like this. What am i going to do? Angrily wiping away my tears. How dare they betray me! I wouldn't let anyone see ,e like this.There is to many emotions running through me to keep a clear head.

More and more people came up to me and asked if it was true.I didn't answer because i was too upset, if people knew, what consequences will i face?I cant bare the thought to find myself beat up.What am i going to do?

I got home and started to cry, so i ran upstairs and locked myself in the bathroom.I found some pills in the cabinet and i started to take them.Slowly,I started to feel dizzy but still conscious.I wanted to overdose myself , but i stopped at the fifth pill.I thought if i was brave enough to tell my friend.Why cant i tell my mum? I started to be sick,my dad heard me and knocked on the door, he said are your okay? I cried i am fine dad go away.

I woke up in the middle of the night;I went to the bathroom. I had the most throbbing headache , I looked at myself in the mirror and cried.I thought to myself what have i done to deserve this?I got some headache tablets and took them with water.My head started to spin.I fell to the floor.All i remember is my mum and dads muffled speech they said are you okay , can you hear me? Everything was still a blur. I thought i was going to die.Mum shouted at me and said what are you playing at you could of died.

In school i was a different person. I did things i wouldn't usually do. I would go and cry in a quiet place and not go to my lessons because i was that scared of what people thought of me.

Suddenly,I started to think, What would life be like without me being alive. No-one likes me anyway...whats the point? I have loved life up until this moment,how could someone i trusted, tell everyone i knew. It felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest. I was that lonely and upset.All i want is friends that would support me no matter what was said, but oh no people had to avoid me like always.I hate bullies.Why do people bully?

My heart had been shattered into a thousand pieces because i revealed my true identity.I was gay.I knew this for quite a while and it was troubling me greatly.How was i going to tell someone?What would they say?Would they think i was a lesser human being?