Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance

This Isn't a story. This isn't a pity call. I just hope this may help

by PansyAngel 2 reviews

I know a lot of people have being posting their attempted suicides on the site and am wanting to try to help.

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: G - Genres:  - Published: 2013-03-25 - 886 words - Complete

Ok, just so you know I haven't uploaded a story on this site yet, but am not stranger to this site. I have been reading My Chem stories on this site since I was twelve, I am now eighteen and have seen a dramatic change in the posts on this site.

I know a lot of people have been posting their suicidal thoughts and their death attempts on this site, some of which have actually killed themselves. But you didn't see anything like this on this website a couple years ago, and I have no idea what has caused it. I don't know what their reasons are for these thoughts or actions, so I'm sharing my story so you may understand that your life isn't actually that fucked up.

I'm not looking for a pity call and I don't want any sympathy, I just hope that in doing this I may be able to help some of you in your life's.

Throughout my childhood I had to go to the hospital often, but this isn't where the problems started. When I was about ten is when I got my first symptoms, extremely heavy nosebleeds that took up to an hour to stop. They've never mention this symptom though, the hospitals or the news, so I never really thought it could be what it was.

When I was twelve and a half is when another symptom occurred, I would have muscle spasms throughout my left arm that would last about a minute or so. Three months after that is when we noticed the weakness. My mum took me to the doctors because the finger on my left hand had curled over and I wasn't able to straighten them back out. But they didn't know what was wrong and referred me to a specialist, but before we could make that appointment my situation worsened.

My mum took me to our local hospital where they diagnosed me with nerve damage and sent me home. But the next week after being discharged I was back again and being treated as a severe case. Not only was I unable to use my left arm, but I also didn't have the strength to lift my left leg up either, to walk I needed to swing it to the side.

I was suffering from the weakness, nosebleeds, nausea and severe, constant headaches. The doctor diagnosed me with suffering several strokes, then they just needed to find out why I had the strokes. They sent me for CT scan of the brain, and they found a lump.

Within a day I was transferred to another hospital and had my surgery a few days later. The biopsy of the tumour confirmed that it was cancer, a rare, aggressive, recurring form of cancer. There was another girl also on the ward for removal of a brain tumour, hers was benign, but I was the one better off as she came out of surgery brain damaged.

At the age of twelve I had already suffered several strokes and been diagnosed with cancer. I was transferred to a cancer ward and started my six month long treatment. In the first week of me starting treatment I started having seizures, that's when I was diagnosed with epilepsy caused by the damage to my brain. Shortly after starting radiotherapy treatment I was also diagnosed with short term memory loss, the radio therapy also caused me to suffer with alopecia which I still have now.

I met a lot of kids on that ward, and not all of them made it out with their lives. The whole process of all of these problems and upsets at once crippled my emotions, but I still managed to get through the day... Until my Granddad died the next year. This is the Granddad I went to see every Christmas, the Granddad that I loved more than anyone else in the world, the Granddad that was the only person able to talk me into having Chemotherapy to treat my cancer.

I emotionally died the day he died. But I can tell you what got me through these hard times. The things that got me through the Chemo was My Chemical Romance and my childlike imagination, and I've loved this band ever since. They may not have saved my life, but they gave me the strength to fight that illness. And the person to help me through my Granddad's death, was my boyfriend. Me and him have been together for four years now and are still running strong.

I know My Chem have broken up, but that doesn't mean they're gone. I won't get upset about it because they helped me so much. I was able the meet the band back in 2010, and they were the loveliest blokes I've ever met. The way I see life is like a story, the guys have finished this chapter and are starting another. But their music will keep them alive, and your stories should keep them alive.

I know this is long and you've probably not even gotten down to this bit, but you should be sad and you shouldn't give up hope. I have lost friends and family to this horrible disease that is still latched onto me, so If I can keep fighting then so can you.
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