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You Kill Me In A Good Way.

I walked into school, after spending two weeks away. I had to have time off, my Mum said so, after my recent suicide attempt. It was all over Kellin, again, and how I'd never have him again, because he'd moved onto someone new. Mum said I had to forget, but how could I? How could I forget about the best guy who ever walked into my life, how could I forget about him leaving me like he did? So, that's when I grabbed the knife and cut, a huge cut along my forearm. I'd screamed in pain, and that's when Mum found out. Once she found out, it all went downhill from there, she'd kept me off and never let me see anyone, not that I needed to.
Anyway, lets get back to present day. I walked into school, and there he was. He was alone today, I thought he'd be there with Mimi. Mimi was his new girlfriend. I braced myself, before going up to talk to him.

"Hey." I began, not making any eye contact.

"Hi." He greeted, not looking at me either.

"Where's Mimi? She here ye -"

As if on cue, Mimi walked up to us, putting a tanned arm around Kellin. I groaned, she just loved to show off.

"Hi, guys!" She smiled, her clearly-whitened teeth gleaming. "Oh, hey Sadie." She acknowleged me briefly, as if I wasn't even there.

I didn't answer, I just made my way to class. I looked back over to them, and saw that they were making out. Well, Mimi was doing all the work, Kellin just stood there. I rolled my eyes, pulling up the hood of my hoodie. I got to class, and took my seat next to Vic, who was my best friend.

"Hey!" He greeted with a smile, cheering me up.

"Hey." I smile a little, sighing as I sat down.

"Alright," Vic began, turning to me with a raised eyebrow. "What happened?"

At that moment, Mimi and Kellin walked in.

"That." I pointed at the couple as they walked by us. "That is what happened."

Mimi and Kellin then sat right behind us.

"So, your Mom told me you tried to kill yourself again?" Vic brought that up, and Kellin heard it.

"You what?"

"Yeah, okay." I gave in. "I did try and kill myself."

"Why?" He pressured me.

"Nothing important." I say, and leave the classroom and run out the building.

**

I made it home, and slammed the front door behind me, and Mum burst into the room.

"Why aren't you at school, Sadie?" She asked, and I made my way up the stairs. I ran to my room and slammed the door behind me. I sat on my bed, when I got a text.

Where are you?

It was from Kellin. I didn't reply back, but he kept flooding me with questions.

Where are you?

Why did you run for?

You tried to kill yourself, why?

I had finished with it, all everyone ever asked was questions.

Why are you so sad?

Are you Emo?

Why are you listening to that music? Why do the people scream instead of sing?

I rose from the bed, and went onto my email. Most of them were unanswered, but I still never answered them. I composed a new one, sending to all my contacts. I breathed a deep breath, before typing my suicide note.

Dear reader.

I can't do it anymore. I can't deal with the questions.
So, I'll answer them all.

I'm not Emo, and I never was. I listen to the music I listen to, because it makes me who I am.
The singers of those songs, they scream to get their emotion across. And I'm sad, because I can't deal with the fact I've lost the most amazing guy in the world, to another girl. And, I tryed to kill myself because of it, because I couldn't face the fact that he was gone, that he'd left me.

Kellin, you wanted to know why I tried to kill myself, there you go. I had lost that one guy, who was you, to someone else. You wanna know why I ran, from everyone? Because I don't want to see what I've lost, and what I'll never get back. And, you wanna know where I am now? I'm nearing my death. I've lost, I've lost something I'll never get back.

So, I've answered your questions.
That, that is the entire truth, and nothing but the truth.

So, you'll never see me again. That, I promise.



I signed the email, before sending it. Once that was done, I grabbed my jacket and made my way out the door, to Mum's car. I got in, and drove to the pier, where I parked and made my way to the edge of the pier. My feet were on the edge, and my hair blew all around. I squeeze my eyes shut, and jump into the water and feel the waves pull me deeper down to the seabed. I then felt a hand on my wrist, and I felt cool air on my face. My eyes managed to open, and I looked around as I was being carried back to a car, Vic's car. I then fell into darkness.

**

I opened my eyes again, after a while. I was at home, in my room. So, I wasn't dead. Crap, that failed then. I looked around, and saw Kellin stood in the corner.

"Why?" He asked that same damn question again.

"You know why." I answer. "I couldn't handle it."

"Couldn't handle what?" He questioned further, walking over to my bedside and sitting near me. "Losing me, to someone I don't even love?"

"What?"

"Didn't you hear?" He got serious. "I don't even love Mimi, she just pressured me into it."

"Why?"

"Because, she thought I was hot. She had her way with me, and made me popular, and into something I'm not. I lost friends, and I lost you."

"Me?" My heart began to beat fast, and I began to breath quick short breaths.

"Yeah." He smiled, moving up more. "I mean, I wrote a song about you."

"Really?" I sat up at that one, and Kellin smiled.

"Let's hear it." I say, and Kellin layed next to me, pulling me nice and close, and he began to sing.

And I'd give up forever to touch you,'cause I know that you feel me somehow.
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be, and I don't want to go home right now.

And all I can taste is this moment, and all I can breathe is your life.
'Cause sooner or later it's over, I just don't want to miss you tonight.

And I don't want the world to see me, 'cause I don't think that they'd understand.
When everything's mean't to be broken, I just want you to know who I am.

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming, or the moment of truth in your lies.
When everything feels like the movies, yeah you'd bleed just to know you're alive.

And I don't want the world to see me, 'cause I don't think that they'd understand.
When everything's mean't to be broken, I just want you to know who I am.

And I don't want the world to see me, 'cause I don't think that they'd understand.
When everything's mean't to be broken, I just want you to know who I am.

And I don't want the world to see me, 'cause I don't think that they'd understand.
When everything's mean't to be broken, I just want you to know who I am.

I just want you to know who I am..

I hugged Kellin tightly, nearly crying.

"I didn't lose you." I smile, and kiss him softly. "You're mine, forever."

"That's right." He smiled too, holding me closely. "You still have all my heart."

"You are my heart." I smile, kissing him again and we fall asleep beside eachother, in the warm evening light.

Awh. Cute.
Yeah, this was supposed to be a poem, but I thought 'hey why not turn this into a oneshot'.
And I did.
Now, the title came from the Sleeping With Sirens song You Kill Me In A Good Way, and the song was the Sleeping With Sirens cover of Iris. It is just a beautiful cover I listen to it every single day and I will be playing that song at my wedding dance and my prom.
(Did anyone get the reference at the end, in Kellin's last speech? If you did you are awesome and we must get married or something I dunno..)

So, rate and review okaaayyy? xx Sadie