FicWad

Hello my lovely family of ficwad!

That's right,
I
Am
AWAKE!

I want to say sorry for scaring you like that, its just when I heard the news I was like:
that's it?
It's over?
This is where it ends for me.
You see before I found My Chem I was diagnosed with all these problems like bipolar, schizophrenia, anorexia, bulimia, insomnia and I became suicidal.
Then my friend Jade introduced me to a band called My Chemical Romance and my life changed forever.
Then one day it all got too much and I wanted to join the black parade... so I stepped over the barrier on the cliffs across from my house.
You wanna know what pulled me back over?

It wasn't my mother or fathers reaction, because to me at that time they didn't care.
It wasn't my little sister growing up with out me (she constantly tells me she hates me anyway)
It wasn't that I'd never see my 'friends' again

... It was the fact that I would be ending my chances of maybe seeing MCR for real, to shake Franks hand, to hear Gerard sing, to see Mikey smile, to touch Rays fro!

This band pulled me back over the barrier..... And now they're gone.

And that is why I did it... there was nothing to hold me back any longer.

But then I wake up... And I come on here (it was actually the first thing I did since my mother told me she had been posting about my coma)

And I see all of you,
your post about how much my departure hurt you all,
all of the 'love you's'
and the 'Please wake up's'
And I cried.
I cried so hard because it showed me that I don't need people in my physical world to care because I still have you guys... My ficwad world.
And the fact that most of you are still going strong continuing your stories is even better because at least my chem live on in something :)

Paige (CrimsonRevenge)
I fucking love you, and your story, my mam told me she read it to me when I was asleep and that, that night I was dreaming ha ha (maybe I had a dream about your story) but I suppose i'll never know. but thank you so much for your post on facebook and your comments on here, just thank you so much for everything.

And thank you Abby (BiopolarUnicorn) for taking the time out of your life to message me on facebook and make me smile :)

I feel like I woke up for you guys :D

And all of you... just thank you so much for reminding me that I do matter and that people do care!
I feel like you guys are the only people who actually know the real me :)
And thank you to the people who are posting about how this is all a scheme that MCR have produced as an introduction to their new album, you've given me hope, and that is really what I need right now so thanks :)

Any way they are keeping me in hospital to keep an eye on me until at most Sunday/Monday, and then I will be released.
I already have a councilor, a psychiatrist, a mentor, and a support group so they cant really do anything more than that.

But yeah this was just to say thank you for all the kind messages and prayers, and to let you guys know that I am alive and kicking and will be back on here ASAP!!!

See you soon...

T xoxo