FicWad

Three years.

Not much happens at this time. Introductions. Wary eyes. Lots of hiding behind Mother's skirt. I don't think we had the best start but it gets a little better. After all, we were next-door neighbors, our moms were best friends. We had plenty of time.

Six years.

Old enough to have realized that we were destined to be best friends. Spending every waking minute with each other, as much as possible. School was boring on the days you were sick, which happened a lot. But coming home was the best feeling, because I knew I was coming home to you. The promise of playing together on the weekends and in the summer was amazing.

Nine years.

The lost years. I made friends with other guys, and for whatever stupid reason, they convinced me that it was dumb to play with icky girls like you! We never spoke, only glaring at each other in the fourth grade hallways, throwing dirt at each other and calling each other the worst insults our innocent minds could possibly create. We didn't play together that summer.

Twelve years.

You pushed me up against a locker and gave me my first kiss. No one saw. We spent forever together that year, holding hands in the hallway and watching the summer night sky on my roof.

Fifteen years.

I became popular. You didn't. People asked me all the time why I would date a freak like you. They didn't know that I had promised to love you forever. That sometimes you came over to my house in the middle of the night, where I would kiss your bruises and wipe away your tears and sing you to sleep. They didn't know that you went through hell already and that I had sworn to myself that I would be your guardian angel.

Eighteen years.

The year that everyone left you, the year you were so broken that I didn't know if I could save you anymore. But I did, and I knew that if I couldn't live without you I wouldn't want to live at all.

It was also the year that my entire life had come down to. The year that everything would either go my way, or my entire world would be destroyed. The year that I was going to achieve my wildest dreams, and you almost left me forever. The year you almost left me standing alone on the street corner, the year I kissed you in the rain how you always wanted.

-------

It was raining like the sky was crying. We stood at the bus stop, the water drenching our entire bodies. Whatever happened in the next few minutes would either allow my wretched little heart to keep beating, or it would shatter the world as I knew it.

"What are you still doing here?" You were crying. I couldn't tell your tears from the rain anymore, but I heard it in your voice, and the way you were trying to smile. I hated that, whenever you tried to cover your crying with a smile. I hated it whenever you cried at all, really.

"Just go. I know you've wanted to be in a band your entire life, and that opportunity is right there. It only comes once in a lifetime! And I am not letting myself hold you back." You were always so stubborn, so selfless.

"But why do you have to leave?" Why would you ever think you would have to leave?

"Because you need to move on from me. You need someone who's there for you, not someone who needs you there for them. You can do so much better than me."

Bullshit.

"You say that this band opportunity comes once in a lifetime. You only come once in a lifetime! Even if I could do 'better' than you, I would never want that! You are already the best girl I would ever want to be with, the only girl I would ever want to be with. Please, I don't care about the band if it means that you would stay with me."

Then the fucking bus rolled up. In the middle of the night, rain pouring onto our heads, you had a choice.

You started to head towards the bus, so I grabbed your arm.

"What?!" You couldn't even hide it in your voice. You were weeping. When lightning lit up the entire sky, I saw your face clearly and you were the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.

When I pulled your face to mine, you didn't even resist. When I kissed you like you were worthless, you kissed me like I was nothing.

When the bus rolled away I knew you'd made your decision.

"I love you."

"I love you too. We can make this work, I promise."

"How?" Your voice cracked. "I'm so broken."

"I can fix you. I can't promise that it'll be easy for us. I'm going to be gone a lot but I can promise you that I will always come back to you as long as you will have me. And you have no idea how much I want that. Please, stay forever with me."

And you nodded, and with that our fate was sealed.



i just realized how lame and sappy and poorly-organized this really is. gosh, im not usually this cheesy and romantic, i just saw a post on tumblr and this happened. #gayfeelings