FicWad

I ran down the stairs as I heard the doorbell ring. I tried to regain my breath before opening the door so Gerard couldn’t tell I was out of breath. I looked through the peephole of my white long front door. Gerard still looked beautiful as ever except he had dyed his hair. Instead of brown he had dyed it blonde, just like he had it during out Black Parade Album. Except it was slightly longer, it wasn’t cut short like it used to be. Gerard reached out to press the button again but I flung the door open. “Oh, Frank, hi were you waiting by the door? You look flustered, what happened?” “Oh, nothing, just glad to see you after so long” “Well, can I come inside I’m freezing here.” I pulled him inside “Right, right uhm, so how are you doing?” “I’m good you know, after I cleaned up I feel good, and you?” “I’m great, now that you’re here” “Surprisingly, I’ve missed you” “Is that a surprise?” “Yeah...it is” he looked up at me and stared at me intently. Dying to change the subject I blurted out. “So how’s your girlfriend?” “She’s fine” I nodded not really interested about anything that had to do with Lyn-Z. My intention wasn’t to spend the hours I had with Gee talking about her. Gerard looked around the house, maybe remembering what had happened in the past here. “Your parents live with you?” “Dad, he left and mom…anyway do you want to cook something?” Gee smiled, we always cooked together, it always brought us together. He moved across the room and took off his jacket. He maneuvered around like he owned the house, because he knew it like he did. I ushered him into the kitchen and watched as he opened the fridge and searched for something. “Frankie, remember what we used to make all the time?” “Our failed attempt at pizza” he laughed “Yeah! Let’s see if all these years paid off” “Sure, I’ll do anything you want” “But what do you want?” “Funny, that you ask that, because I want a lot of things. I want parents, I want my own life back---“I moved closer to him and he cautiously stepped back as well. “But most importantly I want you back” “Frankie, you know that’s not possible” I removed all the space that was left in between us. He shifted uncomfortably, “That’s only because you don’t make it possible, you know how easy it would be for you to kiss me?” “Please move away” I giggled and just rested my head against his shoulder. “You used to always want me closer, what happened to that?” “That’s different, you have to understand that before I didn’t have feelings for someone else” “But that someone else isn’t here right now, she won’t know that this happened” I turned my head so that my nose was buried in his neck. He stiffened and tried to squirm out of my grip. “What exactly is happening right now?” I tried to nibble his neck but he pushed my away from him and said “Stop” I moved closer again, determined “You know you want to, has she ever been so willing to you?” he didn’t say anything he just stared looking annoyed. “Did she ever give you anything you wanted?” “She’s given me a lot of things, I don’t only want sex Frank… that’s all you and I had” “No, Gee, we had so much more” I invaded his space again and touched his stomach. He rolled his eyes. “You don’t understand, because you’ve never loved anyone” “What I don’t understand is what changed, why you never cared about who you hurt but all of a sudden you do” “I was different” “Yeah, when you were drinking everything Justin gave you” “Frank, stop it please” I was getting angry, I was going to get what I wanted even if he said no. He was mine and no one person was going to stop me from getting it. I clutched his t-shirt in my hand and tried to kiss him. He turned his head away so that I missed and kissed the corner of his mouth. “Frank, I don’t want this anymore” he went away from the spot I had cornered him with a bit of effort. Of course, he was stronger than me. He went to sit on the counter and calmly waited. “So, I guess we aren’t making pizza anymore” I smiled devilishly. “No” he sighed “This is how we’re going to spend the time we have together?” “We could have a better time… if you just gave in, if you realized that you never cared about anyone before...Remember?” “Shut up!” I sauntered over and put my hands on either side of his thighs. “I’ll do whatever you want me to” “It’s not like it used to be Frank, we weren’t anything before we aren’t anything now” “Come on, please just one more time, please” I begged. I was past asking I was prepared to beg for it. “One more time only?” I smiled. “Yeah, please c’mon just I want you to...To touch me like before” I whispered the last part hopefully. His eyes widened. “Did we ever..?” “You don’t remember?” “No” “Why don’t I refresh your memory?” “Okay...Okay but you promise not to tell anyone? One time and that’s it” “Whatever you want” “C’mon” “Why not here?” “I don’t want it to be here” I eagerly went up the stairs to me room. I was surprised that he had taken me up on the offer. But it didn’t matter because he was still going to do it. I entered my room and turned around for him to study the familiar place. It hadn’t changed, I made sure. He didn’t close the door. He shyly stepped closer to me and put his hand on my face. He looked calm but all of a sudden anger flashed in his eyes and he forcefully made me go on the bed. I breathed out. What was he doing? He climbed over me and got real close. I was panting already; I was excited because he was going to kiss me. He was being forceful like he used to be when he was drunk. “Gerard” “Stop. It. Now... I don’t like you anymore, we might have had something before, but I don’t want you now... I love seeing you again, I care about you but if you’re going to spend the whole time trying to get in my pants. I don’t want to be here with you. Now stop” he emphasized the word. “Before I put my jacket on and get out and never come back, I don’t want you anymore” I couldn’t control my breath, and his weight on top of me wasn’t helping the situation. “But I want you” I wasn’t giving up yet. I moved my hand to his leg. He shoved it away and grabbed both my wrists. “You know what? I’m leaving” he got off and left the room. I went behind him. “Okay, fine I’ll stop…just don’t leave me” “I’m here for you but right now I don’t want to be here” “You’ll come back right?” “I came back already didn’t I?” I smiled. I knew I messed up with him today. But he always forgave me, I didn’t deserve him. “Yeah, that’s true” “I’ll come back some other day…Frankie?” “Yes, Gee?” “We did have more than sex, we could’ve been together…but we weren’t in the right time, and now we don’t feel the same way, well I don’t” “I told you this before…I’m not giving up on you, I’ll wait whatever time I need to” “You’ll be waiting a long time”
“You’re worth it” he just shook his head, disbelievingly. “You’ve said that to me before and didn’t mean it… what made you change your mind?” “Because even before I knew that behind that tough act you displayed for everyone else, you did knew how to feel something” “I do” “And I’m sorry if I hurt you before” “Trust me, you were the one that hurt me the least.. Well” he opened the front door. “I’ll see you...” “Yeah, I’m sorry I couldn’t make this better” “Seeing you made me feel better” I smiled brightly. Why did he always take the bullet for everyone else? He always fixed everyone else except himself. He made everyone feel like they didn’t do anything wrong when they have, he was really something. He closed the door behind him with a fleeting smile. I watched him walk down the street and out of sight. I’ll be waiting for him, for now and forever.


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-RawrgasmicXMajestic