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Chapter 5: This Isn’t Your Average Magic Trick


My neck was stiff as I woke up to the morning sun shining right in my face. I groaned quietly, and rubbed Gerard's arm that was wrapped around my midsection. His head was nestled against my hair as per usual, and he was still asleep. I smiled to myself as I felt him pull me close and let out a couple incoherent murmurs and I snuggled into the almost naked man. He always slept in just his boxers, and I keep myself bundled up in fuzzy pajama pants and a long sleeve shirt.

Six months and I still haven't been able to give myself to him. Six months and I've never even taken my shirt off to swim. I don't feel as horrible about myself, but I still don't want to embarrass myself in front of Gerard who is absolutely magnificent. Every time we're really close, and he goes for my shirt or jeans, I break down. I'm working on it, but it took about three months for breaking down to no longer include crying, so that's not really much of an improvement.

I did quit my job after admitting to Gerard what Phil was like. He refused to let me get hurt, and insisted I start work somewhere it's safe to work, and somewhere that was an actual business. After a month or two of living off my savings account, I got a job at a small retail store in the mall that sat half way between Gerard's place and mine. A couple weeks ago, he suggested I move in, because he'd really like to have me here. I accepted his invitation of course, and we moved most of my things over fairly quickly. I still have a few things to get, a paper or two to sign, and a gift for my mother to pick up.

I continued to rub Gerard's arm lightly, staring at the blinding light shining through the clear windows, and I glanced over at the fall trees wearing their colors with pride. The room was warm, but not uncomfortably so. I've been seeing things a lot differently since I've spent more time in Gerard's house than my own. I never noticed how nice this time of year was. I once again shimmied back into my artist, smiling contently once again, and tried to savor every last second of this embrace. Gerard squeezed my waist slightly.

"You're squirming." He pointed out, and poked my stomach lightly. "I take it you want to get up?"

"Mhm, it's a wonderful day." I said and broke from his grip to roll over and face him. He has the best bed head I've ever seen, if it's even possible to have good bed head. I planted a quick kiss on his lips, and beamed.

He nodded and smiled back, hugging me momentarily before getting up and pointing to the bathroom. "You shower first or me?" He asked, tilting his head.

We can go at the same time. I thought to myself. I hate how I get nervous and less ballsy when I really need to be. I do want to get past being this self-conscious, but I don't think that will be possible without at least trying to step out of my comfort zone. I'd just rather not embarrass myself, make him hate me, or make him realize he doesn't want me. He constantly tells me I'm beautiful, and that I've got nothing to worry about, but do I really? We'll find out.

"Both of us." I stated flatly, and I could feel my entire body getting warm.

"Huh?" He said, looking like he just found out his entire life was a dream. His eyes were big hazel plates, and his jaw hung loosely on his face, leaving his lips parted.

"Both of us in the shower at the same time." I said, my stomach flipping over and twisting into knots. I have to get past this. I want to get past this.

"Wait, wha-" He began before I strolled up to him, and lightly placed my fingers under his chin, and dragged them away from his gaping mouth gently. He shut his mouth, and retained that look of shock and total surprise.

"You gonna stand there and catch flies, or are you gonna come with me?" I grinned though my insides were screaming. I wanted this, but I was so fucking scared.

"Frank are you sure?" He asked and raised an eyebrow.

"What do you think?" I asked, grabbing his wrist gently and tugging him toward the bathroom with me.

"You don't have to." He continued to protest. My heart sunk a little in my chest. Maybe he didn't want me. I felt like throwing up. God how could I be so stupid. I need to stop coming on to him.

"Sorry." I mumbled quietly, the shame weighing my head down as I looked at the floor. I went from confident and proud of myself to a pathetic lump. If I wasn't embarrassed before, I certainly am now.

"No no no," He started, and grabbed me. He pulled me closer to him by my upper arms and tilted my chin up. "I do want to. There's no need for you to be sorry. I'm just checking, that's it babe." He said, and shortly after he spoke broke out in a smile. "God damn it, stop pouting at me like that."

I chuckled slightly, and sniffled. I'm glad I didn't cry I rested my head against his chest, smiling to myself. "I still do want that shower, though." I said, looking up at him. I had completely lost the swagger I had previously. I examined his reaction, and I could tell he wanted it too. Biting his lip slightly as he studied me back.

My neck still hurt a little, but I couldn't feel much more than want. I wanted to feel his hands all over me, and I really want to know what it's like to be close to someone like this. Well, I wanted to know what it's like to be close to Gerard like this.

Gerard led me to the bathroom, one hand faintly touching my lower back. I opened the door, and the cold floor against my unprepared toes sparked my senses to life. I looked up at the taller man, staring at his hazel eyes, trying to figure out what was going on in that head of his. He always knows exactly what's going on with me, why is it so hard the other way around?

He pecked my lips lightly, placing his hands at my sides and running them over my lower rib cage and down to my hips. I slid my hands up his chest and tried to act like I wasn't a virgin quaking in his boots. Obviously, that was the main difference between Gerard and I, and it's not even a big deal. He at least has some sexual experience, and I have next to none. I’ve watched enough porn to have a good idea what’s going on, but that’s definitely not the real thing.

Gerard pushed me closer to the tub, running his hand up my shirt and over my not so hot chest. He let out a heavy breath, and slid my shirt off. He stared at my face for a moment, assuming I was going to break down and cry. I didn't feel so ugly anymore, so I simply waited for his next move. He let out a sigh of relief, and allowed his eyes to drift further.

"Why is it you think you're ugly again?" He asked quickly, closing the gap between us momentarily to turn the shower on. "You're fucking gorgeous." He murmured, and kept me at arm’s length for a moment.

"I'm not as good looking as you." I observed, latching my pointer finger around the elastic band on the waist of my boyfriend's briefs. I tugged slightly

100% unsure of myself and exactly what I was doing, I tried to call upon all of those pornos and slash fan fictions (I stumbled upon few, don't judge) that had piled up within the unused spaces in my memory. Confidence, I need to have confidence. I pressed my lips to his once again, lingering for a moment before moving to kiss his jaw, and nip at his upper neck lightly. His grasp on my hips tightened as his head tipped back in response to me placing a light hand over his interested member, and palming him through his underwear.

I myself had gotten turned on, but not uncomfortably so. Gerard hastily removed his underwear, revealing his perfect cock and immediately reached for the pajama pants I was still wearing. He shimmied them down as far as he could, and kissed my neck harshly.

"I want your pants off." He growled, and the kissing turned into biting and sucking.

My cheeks became flushed, and I let out a soft moan, tilting my head to the side allowing him to do what he wanted to me. I stood there paralyzed, putty in his talented hands. Gerard's exposed member pressed against my own as I finally realized how badly I wanted to be touched. His biting got harder and I heard him mutter "Off." once between bites.

I quickly slid my pajama bottoms off and kicked them away from me. I struggled getting the nerve to undress myself completely. I don't want him to spontaneously find me unattractive, laugh, and kick me out. I really like him, and I don't want to fuck this up. I gripped the elastic on my boxers, and tugged slightly. I inhaled deeply, closing my eyes and arguing with the nagging voices in my head. Gerard doesn't think I'm ugly, and he won't die laughing at the sight of me naked. I chanted to myself over and over. This was becoming my mantra for daily life. I pulled them off and kept my eyes closed tight, bracing myself for whatever may have followed.

Gerard took my throbbing member in his large hand and stroked it painstakingly slowly, which gave way to a slew of incoherent words falling out of my mouth as soft high pitched moans. I glanced down at his hand going to work and I bit my lip, chewing on my piercing. Glancing at his face, I read his expression and the only word I could see was satisfaction. No one has ever done anything like this to me, and he knows it.

"Sh-shower is running." I gaped, my head falling forward onto the larger man's chest, and his stroking slowed to a complete stop. Now wasn't exactly the right time to be worried about his water bills. Gerard rested his hands on my hips, and turned me around to face the door.

"Later." He said, his voice guttural and filled with lust.

I heard the water stop running, and Gerard steered me out the door and spun me around once again, our lips crashing together in yet another fit of want. He directed me to his bed, and pushed me down to sit on the bed by my shoulders. He pushed me onto my back and straddled me. I moaned as we touched in places that lead to new sensations, and sent a wave of chills through my entire body. He grasped our firm members together, and stroked them together. He let out a hiss, rubbing us together and I let out a moan. He but his lip and a sly smile was creeping its way onto his red hot face.

"M-More, please." I whimpered.

"More what?" He snickered, leaning down at my neck and nipping at the most likely bruised skin.

"Please fuck me," I pleaded. "Please."

"And you're sure?" He pulled away, his member resting against mine. I've never felt so good in my life, I've touched myself but this was different. This was completely different.

"Positive." I nodded, air finally reaching my lungs. I closed my eyes trying to imagine what it would feel like for him to be inside me. My aching erection twitched in response to the mere thought, and I allowed my eyes to flutter open as he got up and moved away from me, my throbbing member aching for more than my mind was capable of verbalizing.

Gerard fumbled around in his night stand, and pulled out a medium size bottle half full with a clear liquid. I bit my lip, and felt the butterflies in my stomach flutter around in a fit of rage. This is what I want, but this is fairly scary. He popped the cap and only applied some of the liquid to his index and middle fingers.

"I'm going to prep you, alright?" He said, in a tone that was more like a question, inching closer to me and making constant eye contact. In his dark eyes -I saw lust, and a slight concern. I nodded my head, the words I wanted to say binding themselves up in my throat.

I scooted back so he had more room to work, and he took position between my legs. He raised my legs up gently by pushing my thighs toward my stomach. He gently massaged my thigh with the thumb on the not lubricated hand. He looked down at my body, and grinned once again. He took a moment to apply a little more lubricant to his fingers before he swept them across my entrance, causing me to jump slightly.

"Tell me when you think you're ready." He purred, gingerly pushing one digit inside me. It didn't hurt and it didn't feel uncomfortable, which was good. It felt new and a little strange but I kept myself relaxed. He bit his lip, staring at his actions. He would occasionally glance at my face for some confirmation that what he was doing was okay, and he always got exactly that.

Gerard slipped another finger inside me, eliciting a surprised moan from my lips. This was slightly more painful, and I struggled to adjust. Gerard rocked his fingers in and out, gazing up into my eyes. He began to scissor his fingers in order to help loosen me up a little more. I squirmed, my body trying to reject the new intruder, and though my tried to fight it I pushed myself back onto his fingers. Occasionally they swiped against an area that felt like it was something special. I'm assuming he's getting really close to my prostate, because even gently touches around that area are making me want more, and want more now.

"Ready." I said and stopped moving on his fingers. I grabbed the back of my knees and held them closer to my chest, staring at Gerard's amazing cock. He had never lost interest, and he was still as hard as the moment we stopped making contact.

"Are you sure?" He asked, grabbing his bottle of lubricant once again. I nodded as he poured a quite generous amount on his hard cock and went to set the bottle down someplace out of the way. Moving one of my hands from the back of my knees, I took him in my hand and stroked him, spreading the line around. He let out a whimper, and I giggled slightly.

He shot me a quick, playful glare. He crawled on top of me, and lined his tip up with my entrance, slowly pushing himself inside me. I closed my eyes tightly, pain crashing over me like waves of knives all over my body. I turned my head into the pillow and bit it to keep myself from screaming from a mixture of pleasure so amazing it had to be a sin, and an overwhelming pain that enveloped my entire being. I writhed under the man that was guilty of causing conflicting feelings all over my body.

Gerard moaned and pressed his lips to my neck. He alternated between my jaw, ear, and neck. His kisses were hot and sloppy as he pulled out slowly and pushed himself back inside. With a couple more slow gentle thrusts, he made his way closer and closer to that area until

"Fucking fuck Gerard right there." I moaned loudly, taking my head away from the pillow and set my hand on the back of his neck, pulling his head down to once again bring our lips together. He thrusted into that spot again –my lips falling open again, and beyond the slowly decreasing pain and discomfort the only thing I could feel was the stars I was seeing. The older man groaned as his pace picked up, his neck falling limp and his head resting beside mine. I grumbled a quiet obscenity followed by his name into his neck every time he moved, my mouth still hanging open against his skin loosely.

"You're so fucking hot Frank. You're going to make me cum in your tight ass." He breathed, the animalistic tones in his voice remaining. Him filling me up the way he did hurt for a while -but it was extremely satisfying, even before he had found my sweet spot and began his assault on every nerve and endorphin in my body. His tip continuously rocked against the mind numbingly delightful bunch of nerves inside me, and he used his free hand to rub my erection. I pushed my hips back and forth into his palm, my panting turning to moaning, and Gerard's thrusting getting slightly more frantic. "You're going to cum first." He demanded, setting his lips against the sensitive skin of my neck and biting down. He sucked on the fragile skin hard, most likely creating a hickey to go with all the others.

I had felt the warm tingling sensation begin to fall from my belly button to my lower extremities, and I wrapped my legs around him, propping myself up. I allowed myself to dig my fingers into his back, scratching at him as he pounded into my mostly adjusted entrance. The stretching was still in some ways uncomfortable, but I felt mostly the pleasure of him ramming himself into my prostate. I enjoyed the feeling of being comfortably full, and I really enjoyed the fact that I was giving Gerard the same intense feelings he was giving to me.

I felt my orgasm rising to its peak, and I could feel myself about to explode, my moans reaching almost feminine pitches as he eased me into climax.

"C-Close Gerard." I breathed. "S-So close. So fucking close."

"Please cum for me..." He said, looking me in the eyes and grinning -obviously satisfied with his ability to do this to me, and the fact he was the first person to have done this to me.

That was the final straw for what little self-control I had left and I came on both of our chest. My eyes had shut tightly and I whimpered his name as I came, my muscles tightening around my artist. The pleasure from the initial release was brief, and so intense I could’ve wept. He thrusted a few more times, before my eyelids rose to see the sight of Gerard rolling his head back and his lips forming a soft 'o' shape. He let out a silent scream before I felt him peaking deep and hot inside me.

He collapsed on top of me, and the next half hour was a chorus of sweet, uncontrollable ah's and heavy breathing. He pulled me close to him, his still partially hard member resting against mine. He pressed his lips against the top of my head, holding me protectively. I snuggled into his warm body, making myself at home against him.

"You're so messy Frankie..." Gerard said finally, pressing his lips to my forehead. "It's a good thing I made you wait for that shower."

I nodded slightly, closing my eyes. I was completely content to stay in his arms forever. It wasn’t long before I noticed how safe and confident he made me feel about myself. Lying in the afterglow of my first time left me feeling a lot better about how I look.

-XOX-

The phone began to rang softly and Gerard reached over to pick it up, me still firmly locked under his right arm. I snuggled into him and groaned quietly.

"Hello, Gerard Way speaking." He announced into the phone after clearing his throat. "Oh, hi." He said as a surprised look washed over his face. "Yes, Frank is here, do you want to talk to him?" He looked down at me and mouthed the name Ryan. I moved away from his side slightly and propped myself up on my elbow. "Okay, I'm passing the phone over."

"Frank Iero speaking." I stated though I knew who was on the phone.

"It's Ryan, your mother has taken a turn for the worse. She wants you to visit." His tone was cold, apathetic and my head was already spinning.

"S-Since when?!" I demanded, springing out of the bed.

"She's been feeling under the weather for a few weeks, we took her to the hospital a few nights ago, and they told us an hour ago that she's got about a week left."

"I-Is it just me or don't you sound too fucking concerned?!" I barked, my emotions running wild. My heart felt like it was on fire and my eyes were welling up with tears.

"Frank, I've got no time to argue with you, especially when you act like a child. Come visit your mother for her sake, she misses you. If you bring your stupid boyfriend I'll be leaving." He sighed and hung up on me.

I pulled the phone away from my ear, and threw it. Who the fuck was he? Why the fuck doesn't he care about my mom? Why is my mom suddenly so bad? I wouldn't have known Gerard was behind me if he wouldn't have placed a light hand on my shoulder. "Frankie." He cooed softly, rubbing my shoulders with his thumbs.

"My mom is g-going to die." I said quietly, no longer holding back tears. I turned around and threw my arms around him, already crying so hard my chest was heaving.

"Frankie, she'll be fine." He purred, running his fingers through my hair. "Let's just get to the hospital and visit her, okay?"

"Sh-She's only got a week." I whined, crying against his shirt. "You can't tell me she'll be okay. You're not a doctor."

"There's something I can do, but I need you to get me to your mom before something bad happens." He said, pulling me away from his chest lightly and trying to make eye contact. "Please trust me."

"What're you going to do?" I said, wiping my face. Why the fuck am I believing him, what is he even supposed to do?

"You're going to have to see it." He said, obviously struggling with whatever this was. I nodded and stepped away from him to find my shoes.

-XO-

We entered my mother's room some time later, and without a word, Ryan glared and left upon seeing Gerard accompanying me. I didn't have time to even look at my surroundings before my eyes darted to the hospital bed.

"M-Mom." I whimpered and took two quick large steps to her side. She was sleeping peacefully, just like I'd seen her sleep so many times on the couch. Gerard came into my view when he went around to the left of my mom, and took her hand.

"What are y-" I started before he cut me off.

"Don't. Freak. Out." He said, emphasizing every word he spoke.

"What are you d-" I got out once again before Gerard stopped me.

"Just be quiet, Frank. I need to concentrate." He snapped slightly. His face revealed some worry, and a shadow of doubt. I stared at him, waiting for him to do whatever it was he said he could do.

He closed his eyes, and took a very deep breath. Upon releasing said breath, a bright yellow tinted glow appeared along his veins. This instantly caught my attention as it moved down his upper arm to his forearm, and then began to move from his tiger tips to my mother's veins.

Was I drugged? Am I dreaming all this? This shit isn't possible.

Just before I thought this couldn't get any stranger, it did. The white light was slow moving and it seemed very thorough. I glanced back up at Gerard's face, which was serene in all of this nonsense. I wanted desperately to tell him to stop, and that all of this confused and almost scared me. I knew what he was doing was okay, though. I trust him. He is different.

Suddenly there was a quiet hissing noise and it wasn't coming from me, or Gerard. I looked down at my mother, just to see a black mist rising from her skin. I took a step back in fear of what this was, and Gerard simply placed a thumb on my mom's forehead. His focus was unbreakable as the mist began to accumulate around his hands, and quickly got sucked into Gerard. Or it had dissipated. Or something, I'm not even quite sure what just happened.

"Frankie, are you okay?" Gerard asked after a moment and approached me. My eyes widened as he did so, and he went to place a hand on my arm. I flinched and pulled away, still looking shocked. "Let me explain, please?" He begged.

"Th-That's not- What the fuck was that?" I asked, and took half a step away from him.

"I'd like to discuss this in a more private setting." He urged quietly.

"That's not possible. What the fuck did you even do?" I asked, still suffering from disbelief.

Gerard sighed, and shook his head. "This sounds crazy -and it is to a degree, but it's still true." He paused and breathed a few times before saying anything. "I am a host to a God, making me a God to a certain extent." He said, and shrugged clumsily.


A/N;
I proof read like 17 times if there are any mistakes, I'm sorry.
Please review, I LOVE feedback. Rate if you'd like.
Thank you so much for reading -heart-