Categories > Original > Poetry

Jumper From The Clouds

by BipolarUnicorn 1 review

Category: Poetry - Rating: G - Genres:  - Published: 2013-04-08 - 930 words

Get the fuck down from there.

Why you don't like me hanging off the edge? Like just a slip a of a hand and oops, I'm a fucking goner.

Your scaring me.

Honey, I'm frightening myself.

Just get away from the edge.

Nah, I'll just hang here. Closer and closer I'll move, but will I decide to fall? Plunge to my death like there is a raging sea and pointy rocks below. Drowning in a sea where my demons can swim and all I do is fucking sink. Maybe I'll do it like they do in the movies, fall backwards, so I don't see what's coming. Or I could just jump, and skip the whole dramatic falling backward scene. But then we realize, this isn't a fucking movie! Ha, this is real life.

Don't you dare fucking jump, please. There are people who love you and care. We can get you help.

Maybe I don't want help. Ever think of that? If I jump right now, in the morning I doubt that I'll be on the news. They'll forget about me, they always do. And those people who supposedly 'love and care' are filthy fucking liars. Those motherfuckers, think they're so intelligent, giving all these speeches trying to make me feel better about myself, when I never will. I could preach to you about how fucking beautiful you are and how much your life is worth. But then my mind starts running. Thinking and over thinking about everything. Like a flip switches in my brain that automatically makes me feel like shit. Like I am shit.

How did we call come to hate ourselves? Is it just how we are? Who was the first person to commit suicide? Those motherfuckers who think that suicide is a dishonorable, dumbasses.

What are you even talking about?

I don't fucking know! I'm a freak, can't you see? I'm insane. I belong in the looney bin. On suicide watch maybe. Even though I've never tried to commit. I'm to much of a chicken, but if I had the guts to do it. Oh boy, I would.

Stop! Stop saying things like that.

WHAT IF I CAN'T. WHAT IF THEY ARE PERMANENTLY ETCHED IN MY HEAD. I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT. It plagues my fucking mind at night, I can't sleep. But I love sleep, it makes me feel dead for a short eight hours or so. Now I'm just awake, and alert at night. Almost waiting for something. God, I'm tired. Tired of life and my thoughts. I'm so lost in life. Should a fourteen year old girl be saying this shit? How fucked is this world?

We can help you, fix you.

I'm not some machine, baby doll. You can just get some tape and glue and fix me. I'm not fixable like that.

Your set in stone with jumping aren't you?

Not yet.


Somehow I could just fling myself off this roof and hit the ground and not care. Not another part of me lies my life. What part hates and one part loves. But the hate is taking over, I can feel it.

You're really confusing.

Not when your in my mind dear. It all makes sense there. My mind is a horrible place, somewhere you'll never want to visit.

Well use step back from the ledge.

Not yet. The view is quite beautiful from here.

People are starting to notice your up here.

Let 'me fucking know, I hope they know that I'm the fucking freak who was trying to kill themselves.

The sweet, innocent little girl they once knew is gone. I killed that part of me awhile ago. Along with the happy part or me, I've become very well at faking smiles.

Can we talk about this on ground level? I can help you.

Like I said before I don't want help. Im just going to ignore it anyways, I always do.




Maybe I will jump, your so goddamn annoying and persistent.

I don't want you to fucking kill yourself that's why.

Aren't you suppose to support my decisions as a friend?

Not this kind of decision.

Well if I jump, I'll peacefully die and my pain will go away. Yet, I'll feel like one selfish, guilty motherfucker in the afterlife. But if I don't jump, then I go straight to the looney bin. They'll poke me with needles there or some shit. Try and get in my mind and under my skin.

They'll help you not feel pain anymore.

But maybe I want to feel pain. Just let me feel the pain one last time before I jump, okay?

What do you mean?

Would you ever like me? Like as in more than a friend?

No that would be weird, why would I like someone like you?

That's what I expected you to say. Thank you, that was a stab in my heart.

I didn't mean it like that, though.

It doesn't matter, either way I'm officially dead on the inside and outside. But this isn't a goodbye, I'll see you soon. But it not better be too soon. You have a lot to live for. And I do not. So don't think you're saying goodbye to me, because goodbye means forgetting. I don't want you to forget me. So, see you soon.

She jumps after that. I don't know what she was talking about half of the time. She was mumbling and sounded so crazy.

There we have it from the victims friend. What a horrible tragedy.

Now onto the traffic.
Sign up to rate and review this story