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Hey guys! :) Here I am... Updating...
Euuugh last night was good and bad. Good because my friend Raechel came over and on the whole, we had a pretty good time. We also ate way too much. Cookies, pop tarts, cake, too much food! D: I invited her over because she's a relatively new Supernatural fan and for some stupid reason, I suggested she should come over and the both of us should watch all of season four? We started watching it at two in the afternoon and eventually finished at ten to six the next morning. We also managed to keep my parents awake who weren't impressed. Especially since my step-dad was getting up for work as we were getting into bed. Mom also wasn't impressed when she found the toaster in my room...
This would've been better if she'd just gone home afterwards (Raechel I mean). That sounds harsh but me and my friends have talked about it and it's ten times better when your friends just leave straightaway the next morning. I mean, I do it! :L If my Mom's at work, I'll walk home. I walked home from Jazz's house one morning and it took me about 2 hours to walk home but I didn't care. I can't handle mornings at other friends houses and if you've slept at mine the night, I can't handle you being here anymore. Not because I don't like you, but because I'm a moody buggar in the mornings if I've spent so much time talking to you ;L So I was kinda hoping she'd leave but she wasn't going anywhere. Not until 6PM. We watched House at the End of the Street, Shallow Hal, Love Actually and Juno. It's been a loooooong day...
So yeah I've been thinking about life recently. I went for a walk round the lake (that sounds so poetic ;L) and I was just... Thinking.
First I was thinking about my brother Chris. I assume you all know the crap about him going to prison. I mean, I posted it shortly after it happened. But I'm worried. Not about Chris, I couldn't care less about him (kind of a lie, kind of the truth). I'm worried about Tyler, his son. Chris is gonna miss his first birthday. And on one hand, that's sad because it's his FIRST birthday and it's special. But on the other hand, at least Tyler won't remember that his Dad wasn't around for a while.
However, I'm worried Tyler will have to grow up with a Dad that's in and out of prison. Everyone's saying Chris'll probably change this time because he was away from Tyler. Well they said that when he watched the DVD I made for my Mom. It was full of family photo's and Chris moaned that he was hardly in any of them. The reason for that was because he'd been in prison for so long. So long that honestly, for the year and a half he was out, I never got used to him. It got to the point where it felt like we were talking about a fictional character. I knew he was real obviously, but since he never spoke or saw him (well my parents did, but I didn't) it was kind of like just having one brother instead of two.
And when I went to visit my Nan, my great Aunt Linda and my great Nan (who we call Little Nan because she's 93 and tiny! :3) and I couldn't stop thinking about how our family will probably fall apart when Little Nan's gone and I'm terrified of the day that she dies. I've never lost somebody before and honestly, I'm scared that it's gonna happen and it's gonna happen soon. I dunno how I'll cope because I've never had to cope in that situation.
Which reminds me... I had a weird dream on Friday night:
I was walking down this alleyway but I wasn't like actually there, I was just kind of... There? I don't know. My Mom was walking down it too, in front of me and she didn't know I was there. Then this boy from my school, Tom, showed up and chucked some butterflies at her that stabbed her in the chest. I suddenly appeared in the alleyway and called for an ambulance. It went off with her and I went to school. Then this girl Molly who's not related to me or anything storms up to me and goes "By the way, our Mom died!" and then stormed off. I started crying buckets. Then I found Tom and told him I knew he'd killed my Mom... And that I understood why he did it? This is a mystery to me because I still have no idea why he killed my Mom with butterflies. Then I woke up and for five horrible minutes I thought the dream was real until I realised it wasn't and felt relieved.
So I was wondering - Does the dream mean that I should be nicer to my Mom or that I forgive people way too easily? O.o
Yeah, I'm gonna shut up now! :L
Love Hozzie
xoxo
Euuugh last night was good and bad. Good because my friend Raechel came over and on the whole, we had a pretty good time. We also ate way too much. Cookies, pop tarts, cake, too much food! D: I invited her over because she's a relatively new Supernatural fan and for some stupid reason, I suggested she should come over and the both of us should watch all of season four? We started watching it at two in the afternoon and eventually finished at ten to six the next morning. We also managed to keep my parents awake who weren't impressed. Especially since my step-dad was getting up for work as we were getting into bed. Mom also wasn't impressed when she found the toaster in my room...
This would've been better if she'd just gone home afterwards (Raechel I mean). That sounds harsh but me and my friends have talked about it and it's ten times better when your friends just leave straightaway the next morning. I mean, I do it! :L If my Mom's at work, I'll walk home. I walked home from Jazz's house one morning and it took me about 2 hours to walk home but I didn't care. I can't handle mornings at other friends houses and if you've slept at mine the night, I can't handle you being here anymore. Not because I don't like you, but because I'm a moody buggar in the mornings if I've spent so much time talking to you ;L So I was kinda hoping she'd leave but she wasn't going anywhere. Not until 6PM. We watched House at the End of the Street, Shallow Hal, Love Actually and Juno. It's been a loooooong day...
So yeah I've been thinking about life recently. I went for a walk round the lake (that sounds so poetic ;L) and I was just... Thinking.
First I was thinking about my brother Chris. I assume you all know the crap about him going to prison. I mean, I posted it shortly after it happened. But I'm worried. Not about Chris, I couldn't care less about him (kind of a lie, kind of the truth). I'm worried about Tyler, his son. Chris is gonna miss his first birthday. And on one hand, that's sad because it's his FIRST birthday and it's special. But on the other hand, at least Tyler won't remember that his Dad wasn't around for a while.
However, I'm worried Tyler will have to grow up with a Dad that's in and out of prison. Everyone's saying Chris'll probably change this time because he was away from Tyler. Well they said that when he watched the DVD I made for my Mom. It was full of family photo's and Chris moaned that he was hardly in any of them. The reason for that was because he'd been in prison for so long. So long that honestly, for the year and a half he was out, I never got used to him. It got to the point where it felt like we were talking about a fictional character. I knew he was real obviously, but since he never spoke or saw him (well my parents did, but I didn't) it was kind of like just having one brother instead of two.
And when I went to visit my Nan, my great Aunt Linda and my great Nan (who we call Little Nan because she's 93 and tiny! :3) and I couldn't stop thinking about how our family will probably fall apart when Little Nan's gone and I'm terrified of the day that she dies. I've never lost somebody before and honestly, I'm scared that it's gonna happen and it's gonna happen soon. I dunno how I'll cope because I've never had to cope in that situation.
Which reminds me... I had a weird dream on Friday night:
I was walking down this alleyway but I wasn't like actually there, I was just kind of... There? I don't know. My Mom was walking down it too, in front of me and she didn't know I was there. Then this boy from my school, Tom, showed up and chucked some butterflies at her that stabbed her in the chest. I suddenly appeared in the alleyway and called for an ambulance. It went off with her and I went to school. Then this girl Molly who's not related to me or anything storms up to me and goes "By the way, our Mom died!" and then stormed off. I started crying buckets. Then I found Tom and told him I knew he'd killed my Mom... And that I understood why he did it? This is a mystery to me because I still have no idea why he killed my Mom with butterflies. Then I woke up and for five horrible minutes I thought the dream was real until I realised it wasn't and felt relieved.
So I was wondering - Does the dream mean that I should be nicer to my Mom or that I forgive people way too easily? O.o
Yeah, I'm gonna shut up now! :L
Love Hozzie
xoxo
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