FicWad

Dear Gerard,

Remember me? The short guitarist of your band, the one that changed the world. Yeah you remember me. I'm the guy that use to be your best friend. The guy that would stand up for you, the guy that cared for you. The guy that was your lover.

Yeah, your lover. Before you met her, your heart attack in black hair dye. I never knew weather that song was for me or her. Or if you even loved me like you said you did. I don't know if you even meant it when you told me that I was beautiful, perfect even. You never pointed out my flaws like everyone else did.

That's why I loved you.

It's been far too long Gerard. Ten years, is ridiculous. I know I can never be her. But I've tried so hard to do anything I can to win you back, I divorced Jamia last year, I shaved, hell I even got a new tattoo of your name. I would do anything for you.

I miss you Gerard. I miss the way you laughed. The way your voice sounds just as your about to sleep, the way you whisper in my ear so sweetly while your inside of me. I miss just being with you. If I can't see you I swear I'll die, you mean so much to me.

If only I meant that much to you. Remember the fight? The day we finally broke up. You where married to her, but I didn't care I just wanted to be with you, I remember when you told me that we could do it, that you hated the way I looked at you, the way I kissed you on stage, the way that I'd never be perfect.

Not like her anyway. Never like her.

Because I'm just a filthy faggot. Like you told me. A dirty horrible faggot.

But I love you, like the fag I am, with all my heart which is why I'm writing this I guess. This is a goodbye. I doubt you'll even read it. You might glance over it but you'll just burn it with all the other letters I've sent you.

So give me all your poison and give me all your pills, Gerard.

So long and goodnight.

Frnk xo