FicWad

I remember growing up, and having people tell me "oh when you really do love someone you suddenly can't talk. You don't know how to say things, you stumble over your words, you wonder why they chose you out of everyone else. You just have that gut feeling that everything is perfect when you're with them"

Yeah, at that time I was like "PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF, who needs love when you have FOOD, AND VIDEO GAMES AND UHUHUHUHUH lego!"
I was a very easily amused child (speaking of it, nothing really changed)

Okay enough about my fucked up life, but I seriously finally understand the meaning behind that little quote thing.
Pretty much it means "when you love someone, you suddenly turn into the worlds greatest dumbass, but you're fine with it because you feel like you're on cloud 9 with them."

This speech-thing-fail-ga-mclovin-thing-shit kind of leads to this, this letter, thing, stuff that I've tried to write at LEAST 20 times over.
Except each time I would get halfway through and say "no, I sound too fucking stupid". I get overly self concious trying to describe what she means to me, trying to tell people "You know why I love her?"
I feel like it's too cheesy, or too emotionless or cliche.

Really, she writes this kind of stuff like it's absolutley nothing, like she knows exactly what to say; while I am sitting here like "fuck, I love so much- everything about her, but I can't explain it"

Godfuckingdammit. I promise, I swear, I vow not to delete this copy. If I do, someone can walk up, knock my lights out and say I let them; all honesty guys, leave me out for the zombies if I don't post this.

But, I never really fall for people (mainly because I have trust issues that are off the fucking charts, a life that is more dramatic than fucking Big Brother meets fucking Degrassi, and such low self esteem I wonder why the hell anyone would like me; I am a fucking loser dating a truly perfect angel or something. I'm dating the most perfect person around, yet I'm a fucking fail at anything I try.)

She's so fucking beautiful, it's unbelievable. Someone with her beauty, perfection, confidence, and all out amazingness, is willing to go for someone like me -waves towards self-
She has so much fucking talent, a singing voice that blows people away, guitar skills that kick total ass, writes likes a professional author, and knows how to cheer a person up no matter how low they feel. Once again going for someone like me.
I don't understand her at times, I swear (like really, they're just pringles. The chips in the VERY SMALL FUCKING CAN, LIKE GODDAMMIT MR.EPIC-MOUSTACHE-OF-THE-YEAR-PRINGLES I JUST WANT MY CHIPS, NOT TO GET MY FUCKING HAND STUCK IN YOUR CAN....unless that was the plan all along you cheeky bastard.)
That went so fucking off track, like from talking about how perfect Ash is, to how pringles are only chips, to hating the pringles guy. WHY AM I LAUGHING ABOUT THIS, LIKE FUCKFUCKFUCK; I hit a wall, like one minute I'm happier than hell, the next moping about life, the next hating everyone (except a select few) and to going all ADHD.

How about I restart yeah (omg, I just spelled "restard", I am a fucking dumbass guys, and it's only 8:27PM...wow)

OKAY, LEMME SEE, HOW THE FUCK SHALL I START THIS(like, hm....this song has me thinking of a lot of things; well not the full out thing, cause the chorus/last few verses are about wanting the person back okay wow...ADHD qualities much?)

The song I was, well talking to myself about (I am not crazy guys, I swear..I only have 2 voices in my head and they finally left me alone for a bit okay? I got 'em under control)
WOW FUCK WOW.
When I say "you turn into a complete dumbass" I'm not lying.
You all saw me before the 19th of January (hey, this relationship was like a 2 day late birthday present or something :3). Like me before was "OMG ALTER EGOS FUCK YEAH!!!! -hisses while licking your face-" and shit? NOW LOOK AT ME! I've changed, all for one amazing person)

OKAY, LETS DO THIS SHIT -cracks knuckles and stares intently at screen-


"Never understood how she could,
Mean so little to so many
Why does she mean everything to me?"
-Pins and Needles, Billy Talent

Pretty clever huh? Just using lyrics to describe shit, but yeah; it's like "what the hell, why wouldn't people absolutely love her? How can she mean that much to me?"
Yes, my girlfriend means the absolute world to me, I would absolutely die if anything where to happen to her.
She's so fucking beautiful, talented, amazing.
She can make me laugh with absolute no effort, start and keep up a conversation with me (although that is email, and I am so bloody awkward with things like Skype/facetime/any face to face conversations)
She can cheer me up from whatever mood I might be in (even if I am bawling my eyes out, she is that person who can make me smile like a dumbass)
She showed me that long distance may suck ass, but it's worth it if you care about that person enough.
She showed me that I'm not a total loser, that I am not hated by everyone, that someone out there truly loves me. That someone truly cares.
She is absolutley everything to me(I said that already but who cares?), she is my talented, perfect, beautiful chikka, she is my adorable vegetarian spring roll (I just had to guys xD)
I love her with everything I have, nothing could ever change that.
Not anyone; because it's true what people say. When someone means enough to you, you would go to the end of the world; fight off various zombies, drink a shitton of Mountain Dew Code Red (its perfect, just admit it), and buy all the Pringles that the supermarket has to make them happy. To show them how much you love them.

Even how unoriginal/cliche/...odd? This was, the meaning still remains.

I fucking love you Claire(or Ash, take your pick)
I fucking love you
With everything I could possibly have in me.

xXx Sam