FicWad

You think I'm doing this or attention don't you?
Slaving away trying to impress you,
Trying to be good enough.
Pretending to be who I'm not, just to stay with you all.
This world has changed me,
I don't know who I am anymore.
This isn't me,
I'm imagining you, how you'll never be.
Nice, good to me.
You treat me like shit, why do I love you?
Why am I so stupid?
I don't understand myself, sometimes.

I feel so used,
I'm just nothing to you.
I wish I could believe it when you say you care.

Drowning in a sea of your bitterness,
Burning in a flame of these lies,
Freezing in the tundra of loneliness.

Show me how I feel,
Even though you don't know.
I thought I could trust you,
To help me get better.

But I'm nothing but a waste of a life,
Destined to pick up that knife.

I try to be good enough,
Fun to be around.
But I'm not happy, so you tend to avoid me.
I'm sorry, it's all my fault.
It's not yours.
I know putting up with my, seems like a chore.

Sick of all the bullshit,
I don't stand up for myself.
I keep my sadness a secret.
So it is all my fault.
I don't seek for help,
So it seems like attention.
It's my problem, you don't have to deal with me.

I'm nothing.

I'm sorry.

I'm so fucking sorry.

My thoughts in poem form.