FicWad

It's almost amusing how many times I almost died,
Almost tried,
Almost quit,
Almost gave up on this shit.

It's almost amusing that I consider myself dead,
When my heart still pounds on in my chest.

It's almost amusing to think back on my mistakes,
And the things I did that were for other's sakes.

It's not amusing at all, though, really,
To think that I possess some kind of fight,
Because even when I'm blinded by sadness and can't think clearly,
This life of mine won't die.

And that is why I've given up,
Yet again, I'm not good enough,
I'm not good enough to die, it seems,
So here I wait instead.

I'm not giving up on this life,
But I've given up on trying to end it,
I think it wants to stay, somehow...


But fuck, I don't know why.