FicWad

The sun shines brightly on this beautiful slushy morning. Most of the snow has melted, only a few patches remain. Light filters placidly though the drapes of the willow tree. This had always been our place. Where we had gone to remember…and to forget. A place where nothing could harm us, a place where the world didn’t judge us and all that mattered was our happiness. I stared sorrowfully out across the landscape taking everything in before glancing down at the snow globe resting in my lap. It was his, you know. I picked it up and gave it a shake.

“Get out…get out, GET OUT!! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!” My father raged, storming closer with every word. Mother sat on the sofa with her head in her hands, it’s been 10 minutes and he’s still yelling on and on. I don’t think he’s even stopped for a breath. I hadn’t meant to say anything. My mom had suggested I ask this girl out, Anna, she was a co-worker’s daughter. I was wrapped up in a videogame, I hadn’t been thinking when I had responded with “Sorry, don’t roll that way”. All the days spent joking about it with my friend Bob, it just slipped out.
“Leave him be, dear! You’re blowing things out of proportion!” She sounded close to tears.
“Am I? AM I!? He’s a fag! He’s… abnormal! A- a freak! I’m certainly not responsible for the likes of him! As far as I’m concerned, I don’t have a son!” He stormed off still ranting and raving until he was too far off to be heard.
I grabbed my coat and headed towards the door. “Honey...He…He doesn’t mean it!” I heard my mother call behind me. I didn’t care, I kept walking. I left the house slamming the door behind me I headed for my tree.


The crunch of gravel pulls me away from my thoughts. I look across the grass and watch a car pull out of a nearby drive way. As it drives down the street it passes a faded blue house with storm gray trim. I smile sadly. That used to be his house. I’d always loved his house. I glace again at the snow globe.


It had been a particularly unpleasant day. I didn’t bother going home; I went straight to the willow tree. I didn’t even notice a startled gasp as I threw my bag aside. I threw myself at a small depression in the trunk, my favorite spot to sit, the branches part slightly and you have a nice view of town. Not that it really mattered right now.
I buried my head in my lap, not caring about the blood and tears staining my clothes. I felt a hand on my shoulder, I flinched expecting the worst. I was surprised when all that followed was a soothing voice.

_______________________________________
“Shhhh…hey now…what’s wr- woah!” I jerked back slightly at the sight of his face. One eye was beginning to blacken, and his nose was possibly broken, there was a steady stream of blood coming from it as well as from the side of his mouth. In addition to that there was a wide assortment of other cuts and bruises marring his otherwise stunning features. I didn’t even want to know what the rest of his body looked like…or did I? I shook my head clearing away this unnerving thought. I didn’t know why, but I felt drawn to him. I wanted to help him, I wanted to keep this from happening again. I made a silent vow to get back at whoever had done this.
_________________________________________

His voice was beautiful. I had to look up, as an angel was talking to me, he recoiled slightly as I lifted my head. I didn’t blame him, I was hideous. But when I met his eyes I saw not loathing, but concern. It startled me and I tried to look away, he tilted my head back up and smiled at me, gently wiping away a trickle a blood. We were inseparable after that day. This was our place.


I wiped away a few tears gathering at the corners of my eyes. I hadn’t even noticed I was crying. He had looked so beautiful that day, and I had been so broken, but he saw past everything. I don’t know what made him do it, he could have stayed where he was, he could have walked off, he could have managed with a simple “you ok”, but he helped me. He took me back to his place, cleaned me up, and even helped me set a broken bone. The hospital would have asked too many questions, no one would notice if I went around in a sling for a while. After that he hung out with me the rest of the day, in case anything else should happen. He was there for me every day after.

All the snow has settled. I flip the snow globe upside down and shake it once again.


He flopped down next to me at lunch and shoved a package into my arms. It was my Christmas present. Random people yelled out “queer” and “fag” as I threw my arms around him in thanks. We’d grown so close since that day under the willow tree. So much closer than friends, though neither of us will admit it, for fear of what the other would say. We were so silly to think the other wouldn’t feel the same! Everything was so obvious now that I look back on it.


I gaze into the ball and watch the snow fall, I reach into my pocket and grab the object that rests there, I gleams and the sunlight catches it. I drift off to my favorite memory.


Snow was falling, everything seemed peaceful, we were walking home from Starbucks. We have been together officially for about a year. Did I mention it was Christmas Eve? He stopped at the street light outside our apartment. In the distance a clock struck 12…it’s midnight already!?
“It’s getting late!” I said smiling at him. The bulb in the street light flickered and for a moment before everything went black. It came back on seconds later and there he stood looking more angelic than anything the Christmas decorations portrayed. I smiled again…he’s my light in the darkness.
“Just a minute…” he said looking nervous “Come here…” he stared and the ground shuffling his feet awkwardly.
“What is it?” I walked back over to him and he slid an arm around my waist. A moment later his lips connect with mine. He poured every ounce of passion into that kiss. Butterflies erupted in my stomach and despite the cold my whole body felt warm.
“Merry Christmas” He muttered softly as we parted. He smiled and pushed a small box into my hands as he started to walk up the steps. I slowly opened the box. Glittering inside was a ring.


A dreamy smile spread slowly across my lips as I returned the object to my pocket. That was the happiest day of my life. I look into the globe one last time…It was his you know; I got it for him that very same Christmas. It seems like ages ago now...

It always seemed like something you would only ever hear about. It seemed like something that only happened to “someone else”. What we fail to realize it that you ARE someone else, to someone else that is. He wanted to put himself through art school so he’d been working two jobs, I never would have seen him if we didn’t work the same day job. We curled up together on the couch that afternoon, he needed a few hours of sleep before going to work again that night. I woke up late that evening, he had already left. I glanced at the clock, actually he’d been working for about 2 hours already. I noticed the note on the table.

You look so beautiful sleeping here, sugar. I can't bear to wake you!
I'll be thinking of you all night!
I love you so much Frankie!
Always and forever
-Gerard

I smiled and read the note several times. I love you too, Gerard. I sighed and with much effort pulled myself off the comfortable couch and shuffled into the kitchen to get something to eat. I didn’t worry until he didn’t show up later that night. Or in the morning.
They found his body the next morning, in the back room of the convenience store. It had been robbed… I don’t know how many times I told him to find a different job. I’ve always wondered what happened, and what went through his head when it happened. I hope it wasn’t a horrible death, I couldn’t bear to think of him in pain.

______________________________________________________________________________


Damn, I was tired of working. Art school had better be worth it ‘cause this two jobs thing is getting to me. It’s almost closing time so I glance down at my phone. Frankie texted me!!
I miss you Gerard! And I love you more!! Always and forever!!
-Frankie

I smiled down at my phone. I heard the bells ring as the door opened, someone was entering the store. I didn’t look up as I started to text back.
“Make your purchase quickly, we’re closing in like 5 minutes” I called out using my most pleasant voice.
“No need to close up,” he replied. “I’m your new manager and I’ll take care of that for you.”
Confused I began to look up, before I could I heard a click, and then a loud sound followed by the worst pain of my life. I looked down, I saw blood spilling out of a hole in my chest. Before I could comprehend what happened one thing ran through my mind…That’s gonna stain. Then of course I realized what happened, but not before the man fired again, this time catching me in the stomach. This time I fell. Soon I was lying in a pool of my own blood. I heard rustling sounds, I assumed he was bagging the money. Frankie was right, I should have found another job.
When he was done bagging the money he came around to the other side of the counter. I figured he was going to finish me off. I was surprised when he grabbed my ankles. I left a smearing red trail behind me as he dragged me to the back room. He hoisted me up onto a stack of Gatorade and marshmallows.
“Hopefully this will provide a comfortable pillow for your last nap!”
“Why couldn’t you just leave me out there and kill me?” I asked curiously.
“Because,” he said, raising the bag of money, “This is worth spending life in jail, you,” he continued, pointing at me “are not, good day.” And then he just left!
What’s Frankie going to do without me, I wondered. He always stays up late waiting for me, and I’m not going to come back. I was getting light headed; I heard a steady dripping sound. I figure blood is leaking over the edge of the Gatorade crates. I tried to move but pain seared though my whole body. So much for that idea. I couldn’t just accept this fate, I was supposed to be getting married in 3 months! I tried again to stand, but only succeeded in knocking myself to the floor. I felt like I might cry, but I thought of our willow tree and that Christmas not so long ago. I relaxed a little, we would always be together under the willow tree, as we were so many long summer days before. We would sit side by side, laughing and pushing each other. We would climb as high as we could, taunting the one stuck below, I would sit with my back against the tree, he would rest his head in my lap. We would watch the sun dance through the leaves and feel the cool breeze. A child would laugh or a dog would bark in the distance.
“Do you love me, Gee?” he would ask as I absent mindedly stroked his hair. I would smile, he always doubted himself.
“Of course I do, sugar!” I would say pulling him closer “Always!” He would always smile up at me after that.
“Forever?” He’d ask with a grin.
“Forever!” I’d confirm.

Yes I’d thought with a smile, which was a big deal, because it kept getting harder and harder to form simple thoughts. We’d always be together under that willow tree. And everything faded, till all that was left was a single thought, but soon even that faded.


_________________________________________________________


Yes, I hope he hadn’t been in pain. My vision blurred once again as tears started to fall. I stared down again, this time not at the snow globe, but at a worn piece of paper. I tried my best to keep it perfect, but when it gets handled so much it’s hard. I read it again as I have a million times a day for months.

You look so beautiful sleeping here, sugar. I can't bear to wake you!
I'll be thinking of you all night!
I love you so much Frankie!
Always and forever
-Gerard




Today’s his birthday you know, and in just a couple weeks, we would have been married. I look down at the small patch of snow beneath me. It’s quickly turning a dark red. I glance indifferently at the gashes on my arms. I close my eyes and lean back on the tree. I remember once again that Christmas, not so long ago, and the wedding we'll never have. I love you Gerard, always and forever. A few more moments and it’ll be over. We will be together in eternity.

I smile dreamily and watch the water drip off a willow whip. Did I mention that this was our spot? The place where we went to be together, the place where he first told me he loved me, and now the place where my life ends.


Only the willow weeps.