FicWad

“She’s had a pretty bad past. Quite a few foster homes and schools. Some of her for-mer ‘parents’ say she’s a bit difficult, but maybe a change of surroundings will change that.”
I could barely hear them speaking through the closed door. How was I supposed to get a good start if the stupid social worker was already telling her how ‘bad’ I was? I hoped they were not dumping me with some snob. I’ve been there and it did not end well. Then again I’ve been with all types of families, average, suburban, filthy rich snobs, old, young, all of them and none of them ever worked out. It wasn’t supposed to I guess. Adolescent foster child, what were they thinking? Of course any couple would have hell on earth. Yet they insisted on constantly moving us in and out of homes. I didn’t understand why they couldn’t just leave me in the orphanage. I was perfectly happy where I was. Perfect may be too strong of a description, but at least I wasn’t utterly depressed which I was bound to be in this new home which was practically on the other side of the States from where I came from.
Why the hell did they put me in a home in New Jersey? There was no way I could’ve gone through all the possible foster families in Chicago already. Couldn’t they find someone who was willing to take me in back in Illinois at least? Now they were taking me away from the only home I ever knew, from the only friends, well friend, I’ve ever had.
“Jacey, will you please join us?” the social worker asked quietly when she opened the door, pulling me from my reverie. He knew better than to try to win me over. He’s been working with me for years and knew me well enough by now to know that I was completely anti-social or at least anti-getting-close-to-anybody and I meant anybody.
Here we go.
“Jacey, this is Lisa. You will be living with her for the next few months.”
“Hello, Jacey,” she smiled up at me.
I eyed my new caretaker, carefully assessing her. She looked around her late twenties which kind of surprised me. She definitely wasn’t married. Why would she want to put up with a foster child of any age, much less a rebellious teenager? Her brown eyes were warm and welcoming as was the smile she greeted me with. Lady, you have no idea what you’ve just gotten yourself into.
I plop down in the empty chair next to her and sunk down into it, impatiently tapping my fingers on the armrests.
“Jacey, I’ve given Lisa all your information as well as your new therapy hours. You’re already enrolled in a new school, Belleville High, which you’ll be starting at tomorrow morning.”
I started singing Poison by Bullet For My Valentine in my head, tapping my foot on the tiled floor as I blocked out the droning of the social worker’s voice. We’ve been through this a million times and it was always the exact same thing. Basically, my en-tire life was laid out before this woman. She was told who to call in case of an emergency and where to go if she needed advice. She’ll be calling all the available help lines soon enough. I sure hoped that she paid close attention while he was talking to her earlier.
“If you will please sign these papers you will be finished and able to go.”
If you will please sign these papers and take her off our hands.

*

I get in on the right side of the car and immediately turn on my Ipod, putting the ear-phones in my ears, my favorite band, Bullet For My Valentine blasting into my ears on full volume.
Next to me Lisa just got in the car. She smiles at me and asks me something, but I ignore her and stare out the window. The sky is a murky grey and rain clouds threaten. Lisa finally starts the car and we drive off towards wherever my new hell would be.
This definitely sucked. I was in a whole new state and tomorrow I would be starting at a new school too. Way to uproot a teen trying to find herself in today’s difficult life. Wasn’t that the exact opposite of the stability they’re supposed to be providing us? No, instead they separated you from the only life you’ve ever known and then they expected you to be grateful. That was bullshit. I angrily crossed my arms over my chest and sunk lower into my seat.
After about ten minutes we pulled into a driveway. Lisa got out and started to unload my baggage. I didn’t have much, obviously, a backpack with some clothes and another bag with other items such as CD’s, posters and whatever else I had. I entered the house and noticed her waiting for me in the front hall.
“I hope you like it. It’s not much, but it’s home,” she says in a smooth and calming voice. It was sort of unnerving. “Would you like a tour?”
I nod slowly and she starts walking ahead of me.
As we walk she shows me the rooms. It’s quite homey. Not a big house. She talks all the way.
“This is like a living room, but I use it as an art room, because it’s spacious and has the best lighting. The kitchen is almost the biggest room in the house, but that’s a good thing since I like cooking.”
There are a few rooms. The inside of the house is much bigger than it looks from the outside.
“This is your room. It’s not very big, but I’m sure you’ll fit in. You’re free to do with it whatever you want. You can paint or draw on the walls or whatever.”
There was a short silence.
“I’ll let you settle in. And, make yourself at home. After all, it’s your home too now.”
With that she left. I honestly appreciated the fact that she didn’t hover. I dropped my stuff on the ground and looked around my new bedroom. Not very big? It’s bigger than a lot of the rooms I’ve had.
There’s a single bed against the wall in the far corner. There’s a small closet in the other corner. Next to the bed is a desk with a lamp. The curtains and bed sheets are a light pink. I’ll have to change that sometime. Otherwise the room is pretty decent. I could live with this.
I fell down on the bed with a heavy sigh. Now what? My best friend told me to start a new life, embrace this opportunity to get away from Chicago. Well, that was not going to be easy at all, since he was the only family I had and yet here I was miles away from him, all alone. It’s been a long time since I’ve been this alone and I had no idea how I was going to handle this new situation. How was I going to do this? It was scaring the living daylights out of me. I couldn’t even run away. Where was I going to go? I didn’t even know where I was.
And so it was starting.