Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Without You Is How I Dissappear
The two way brothers walked side by side down the street on their way to Alicia’s house. Both wore jeans and their newest band tees, and had freshly washed and combed their usually unkempt hair. Mikey had insisted upon wearing a leather jacket that comically contrasted with the round glasses settled on the end of his nose. He claimed that it made him feel “cool and dangerous”. In a last minute decision, Gerard had thrown a red sweater on over his Nirvana tee, fervently hoping that it made him come across as more sophisticated…. He had never had a keen eye for ‘style’.
Mikey looked around nervously as they walked. A case of beer was clutched in Gerard’s hand.
“Would you at least try to act cool?” Gerard muttered frustratedly, nudging his brother with his elbow.
“Dude, if we get caught with that we are in so much trouble.” Mikey squeaked.
“Relax. We’re almost there.” Gerard assured him, but he was secretly nervous too. He had gone to a convenience store that he knew didn’t check ID’s and bought a cheap case of beer, an act that was nearly foreign to him. Of course, he had bought alcohol there before, once or twice. Actually, that was a lie. Frank always bought it for them. But Frank was younger than Gerard and certainly much shorter, so Gerard had figured that if the ADHD munchkin from hell could illegally buy alcohol, then so could he. The man behind the counter was a greasy, unpleasant fellow who was much more interested in making an extra ten bucks, than he was in legalities. It was rumored that he had even sold a couple of ten year old girls some wine coolers without even asking questions. However, Gerard had managed to act so suspicious that the man had nearly run him out of the store before he could even make his purchase.
Now, as they approached the doorstep to Alicia’s tiny duplex, Gerard had to re-grip the case that was slowly slipping from his sweaty palms.
Loud music was pumping from inside and there was lots of laughing and friendly shouting. Gerard inhaled deeply, then pounded on the door. Nothing. He waited a few moments, then pounded again. This time the door swung open and Gerard looked down to see Alicia laughing pleasantly, a red plastic cup in one hand. She turned and made eye contact with Gerard; suddenly her face dropped into a scowl and she glared at him for a minute before slamming the door in his face. Puzzled, Gerard struggled with whether to knock again or walk away, but the door suddenly opened again. It wasn’t Alicia, but Barbara, clad in a purple low-cut halter top, a very short silver skirt, and black knee-length boots with heels that lifted her to be exactly eye level with Gerard. Black tights covered her legs.
“Well it’s about time you got here!” She exclaimed, throwing an arm around Gerard’s shoulder and pulling him into a tight hug. She had done a spectacular job on her makeup. She had caked concealer on under her eyes and coated her lids with a deep purple eye shadow, making her bruises almost completely invisible. A dark, pouty lipstick camouflaged the gash on her mouth.
“And you’re Mikey!” She pulled the younger brother into a hug as well, causing him to blush. “We haven’t officially met.”
“Come in, Guys!” She shouted over the music. “Sorry about Alicia. She can be a bitch, but you’ve just got to get to know her.” She laughed, then turned toward the people crowded into the den and yelled. “Guys! This is Gerard and Mikey Way, and they’re fucking AWESOME! So be cool to them or I’ll kick your asses!”
There were about fifteen or twenty teens collaborated in the small den; they waved and gave a small cheer before returning to their previous activities. Most of them were thrashing around excitedly to the music, a few were in the middle of some very intense drinking game, and then the more laid back guests were lounged on the couch just bobbing their heads to the beat. There was a nice mix of grunge, goth, and skater in the atmosphere, and Gerard felt very much like he belonged.
“This way!” Barbara suddenly ushered them into the kitchen where the narrow counter was cluttered with assorted liquors.
She motioned for Gerard to add the beer to the small stockpile of intoxicating goodness, then thrust a cup into his hand.
“Punch?” She grinned, offering Mikey a cup also.
“Thanks.” Gerard smiled, realizing that this was the first time he had spoken since he got there, he quickly added. “It was really cool of you to invite us. Right, mikes?”
“Very cool.” Mikey agreed, a little over-enthusiastically.
“Not a problem. I’m glad you came.” She said over her shoulder while fixing herself another drink.
Gerard took the first gulp of his punch and choked a little. Grimacing he croaked, “What’s in this?”
Barbara let out a lofty laugh, “A better question would be ‘what’s not in it?’ It’s my specialty.”
She suddenly whirled around, eyeing him playfully, “What’s wrong? Is it too strong?” She asked in mock concern, then grinned wickedly. “Don’t tell me you’re a wuss, Kid.”
Gerard Way was not a wuss. Gerard Way was far from being a wuss. Sort of. He just wasn’t used to drinking hard liquors. Usually, when he drank with Mikey and Frank, they just bought a twelve pack of beer, or a few bottles of Mike’s hard lemonade if they were feeling adventurous. Frank was the only one who would drink anything very strong. But, when the woman you are in love with calls you a wuss; it doesn’t matter how strong the drink is, you chug that shit like a champion.
So, in response, Gerard rolled his eyes and turned up his large cup of punch, and finished it in three giant gulps. He slammed the cup down on the counter, eyes watering and trying to suppress his gags. He already could feel a slight tingling sensation in his head. He could hear Mikey behind him, attempting to choke his own drink down. A dangerously enthusiastic expression crossed Barbara’s face as she watched.
“I think it’s time for…..SHOTS!” She yelled out into the den, like she were announcing the most exciting event on earth.
Within seconds, the kitchen was packed with sweaty half-drunk kids who all smelled of cigarettes, alcohol, and weed. The next think Gerard knew, he was being handed a three small paper cups filled with tequila.
Alicia appeared, and set two dice on the kitchen table. “This game is called ‘Pass the Shot’” she announced very formally, climbing to stand upon a chair. “We need, like, 4 to 6 people. Who wants to play the first round?”
Several hands shot up and, before he could even comprehend what happened, Barbara had grabbed Gerard’s arm and jerked it into the air.
Alicia made a show of carefully selecting the players and finally announced for them to gather around the table, then snapping viciously for everyone else to ‘back the fuck up’. Gerard looked at Barbara who was standing across the table from him. She smiled and winked, “It’s fun.” She assured him quietly.
Alicia cleared her throat and continued from on top of the chair, “This is a game of both speed and luck, specifically designed to get you wasted off your ass!” A lot of excited whooping interrupted her. “Basically, each one of you has three shots in front of you and will take turns rolling the dice. If a 2,3, or 4 is rolled you will pass your shot to the person on your left. If a 5 or 6 is rolled you don’t do anything. Rolling a 7,8, or 9 means you have to take one of your own shots and a 10, 11, or 12 means you pass one of your shots to the right. If you get passed a shot you have to take it immediately, then it’s your turn to roll. Whoever gets rid of all their shots first wins the game.”
Gerard was handed the dice first and shook them around inside his fist for a few long moments before finally throwing them onto the table. Seven. He inwardly sighed as he lifted his own ‘shot glass’ to his lips, this was going to be a long night….
After about his fifth shot, Gerard stopped gagging. His head was starting to spin, and a goofy smile stretched across his face. He had won the first game (by some cruel coincidence, being forced to drink all of his own shots) and they were well into the second game. The girl on Barbara’s right hastily handed her one of the tiny cups and, just before she swallowed it, Barbara gave Gerard a very meaningful wink. Every part of his body felt lazy and detached, but he was suddenly well aware of the tightening sensation in his pants. He gave her a look that he hoped was as alluring as he imagined it would be, and slid his last shot to the guy next to him.
“Okay that’s enough!” Barbara laughed, and came around the table to take Gerard by the arm. “Winning both games? That was pretty impressive. I didn’t know you would turn out to be a pro.” She marveled as she led him back into the den. Several of the guests had become bored with watching the game and were now lazily passing a joint around on the oversized couch.
“Yep.” Gerard agreed, nodding his head in an exaggerated manner, “Yep. I can be pretty impressive sometimes. So much so, that I even impress myself on occasions.”
“Well you certainly impressed me.” Barbara purred, leaning into him and almost causing them both to fall over. She wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head on his shoulder as she began to sway back and forth to the music that was still playing.
“I’ve been trying to do that for a long time.” He muttered into her hair, winding his arms tightly around her.
“Dance with me.” She whispered.
Gerard picked his head up in an attempt to survey their surroundings. “No one else is dancing.” He slurred.
“I don’t care.” She exclaimed quietly and began rocking her hips back and forth more vigorously.
Gerard rested his forehead on hers and gazed into her blurry eyes. “But I don’t know how…”
Her mouth slowly lifted to hover just inches away from his. “Let me teach you.” She breathed.
This is it. Gerard realized foggily. This is really it. We’re about to kiss. All his dreams from the past four years were about to come true in this one blissfully hazy moment. He couldn’t believe it. It was too good to be true. He lowered his lips toward hers.
“WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN HERE?” A furious voice boomed from behind them.
Gerard clumsily whirled around to see Jim standing in the doorway of the duplex.
He looked pissed.
Mikey looked around nervously as they walked. A case of beer was clutched in Gerard’s hand.
“Would you at least try to act cool?” Gerard muttered frustratedly, nudging his brother with his elbow.
“Dude, if we get caught with that we are in so much trouble.” Mikey squeaked.
“Relax. We’re almost there.” Gerard assured him, but he was secretly nervous too. He had gone to a convenience store that he knew didn’t check ID’s and bought a cheap case of beer, an act that was nearly foreign to him. Of course, he had bought alcohol there before, once or twice. Actually, that was a lie. Frank always bought it for them. But Frank was younger than Gerard and certainly much shorter, so Gerard had figured that if the ADHD munchkin from hell could illegally buy alcohol, then so could he. The man behind the counter was a greasy, unpleasant fellow who was much more interested in making an extra ten bucks, than he was in legalities. It was rumored that he had even sold a couple of ten year old girls some wine coolers without even asking questions. However, Gerard had managed to act so suspicious that the man had nearly run him out of the store before he could even make his purchase.
Now, as they approached the doorstep to Alicia’s tiny duplex, Gerard had to re-grip the case that was slowly slipping from his sweaty palms.
Loud music was pumping from inside and there was lots of laughing and friendly shouting. Gerard inhaled deeply, then pounded on the door. Nothing. He waited a few moments, then pounded again. This time the door swung open and Gerard looked down to see Alicia laughing pleasantly, a red plastic cup in one hand. She turned and made eye contact with Gerard; suddenly her face dropped into a scowl and she glared at him for a minute before slamming the door in his face. Puzzled, Gerard struggled with whether to knock again or walk away, but the door suddenly opened again. It wasn’t Alicia, but Barbara, clad in a purple low-cut halter top, a very short silver skirt, and black knee-length boots with heels that lifted her to be exactly eye level with Gerard. Black tights covered her legs.
“Well it’s about time you got here!” She exclaimed, throwing an arm around Gerard’s shoulder and pulling him into a tight hug. She had done a spectacular job on her makeup. She had caked concealer on under her eyes and coated her lids with a deep purple eye shadow, making her bruises almost completely invisible. A dark, pouty lipstick camouflaged the gash on her mouth.
“And you’re Mikey!” She pulled the younger brother into a hug as well, causing him to blush. “We haven’t officially met.”
“Come in, Guys!” She shouted over the music. “Sorry about Alicia. She can be a bitch, but you’ve just got to get to know her.” She laughed, then turned toward the people crowded into the den and yelled. “Guys! This is Gerard and Mikey Way, and they’re fucking AWESOME! So be cool to them or I’ll kick your asses!”
There were about fifteen or twenty teens collaborated in the small den; they waved and gave a small cheer before returning to their previous activities. Most of them were thrashing around excitedly to the music, a few were in the middle of some very intense drinking game, and then the more laid back guests were lounged on the couch just bobbing their heads to the beat. There was a nice mix of grunge, goth, and skater in the atmosphere, and Gerard felt very much like he belonged.
“This way!” Barbara suddenly ushered them into the kitchen where the narrow counter was cluttered with assorted liquors.
She motioned for Gerard to add the beer to the small stockpile of intoxicating goodness, then thrust a cup into his hand.
“Punch?” She grinned, offering Mikey a cup also.
“Thanks.” Gerard smiled, realizing that this was the first time he had spoken since he got there, he quickly added. “It was really cool of you to invite us. Right, mikes?”
“Very cool.” Mikey agreed, a little over-enthusiastically.
“Not a problem. I’m glad you came.” She said over her shoulder while fixing herself another drink.
Gerard took the first gulp of his punch and choked a little. Grimacing he croaked, “What’s in this?”
Barbara let out a lofty laugh, “A better question would be ‘what’s not in it?’ It’s my specialty.”
She suddenly whirled around, eyeing him playfully, “What’s wrong? Is it too strong?” She asked in mock concern, then grinned wickedly. “Don’t tell me you’re a wuss, Kid.”
Gerard Way was not a wuss. Gerard Way was far from being a wuss. Sort of. He just wasn’t used to drinking hard liquors. Usually, when he drank with Mikey and Frank, they just bought a twelve pack of beer, or a few bottles of Mike’s hard lemonade if they were feeling adventurous. Frank was the only one who would drink anything very strong. But, when the woman you are in love with calls you a wuss; it doesn’t matter how strong the drink is, you chug that shit like a champion.
So, in response, Gerard rolled his eyes and turned up his large cup of punch, and finished it in three giant gulps. He slammed the cup down on the counter, eyes watering and trying to suppress his gags. He already could feel a slight tingling sensation in his head. He could hear Mikey behind him, attempting to choke his own drink down. A dangerously enthusiastic expression crossed Barbara’s face as she watched.
“I think it’s time for…..SHOTS!” She yelled out into the den, like she were announcing the most exciting event on earth.
Within seconds, the kitchen was packed with sweaty half-drunk kids who all smelled of cigarettes, alcohol, and weed. The next think Gerard knew, he was being handed a three small paper cups filled with tequila.
Alicia appeared, and set two dice on the kitchen table. “This game is called ‘Pass the Shot’” she announced very formally, climbing to stand upon a chair. “We need, like, 4 to 6 people. Who wants to play the first round?”
Several hands shot up and, before he could even comprehend what happened, Barbara had grabbed Gerard’s arm and jerked it into the air.
Alicia made a show of carefully selecting the players and finally announced for them to gather around the table, then snapping viciously for everyone else to ‘back the fuck up’. Gerard looked at Barbara who was standing across the table from him. She smiled and winked, “It’s fun.” She assured him quietly.
Alicia cleared her throat and continued from on top of the chair, “This is a game of both speed and luck, specifically designed to get you wasted off your ass!” A lot of excited whooping interrupted her. “Basically, each one of you has three shots in front of you and will take turns rolling the dice. If a 2,3, or 4 is rolled you will pass your shot to the person on your left. If a 5 or 6 is rolled you don’t do anything. Rolling a 7,8, or 9 means you have to take one of your own shots and a 10, 11, or 12 means you pass one of your shots to the right. If you get passed a shot you have to take it immediately, then it’s your turn to roll. Whoever gets rid of all their shots first wins the game.”
Gerard was handed the dice first and shook them around inside his fist for a few long moments before finally throwing them onto the table. Seven. He inwardly sighed as he lifted his own ‘shot glass’ to his lips, this was going to be a long night….
After about his fifth shot, Gerard stopped gagging. His head was starting to spin, and a goofy smile stretched across his face. He had won the first game (by some cruel coincidence, being forced to drink all of his own shots) and they were well into the second game. The girl on Barbara’s right hastily handed her one of the tiny cups and, just before she swallowed it, Barbara gave Gerard a very meaningful wink. Every part of his body felt lazy and detached, but he was suddenly well aware of the tightening sensation in his pants. He gave her a look that he hoped was as alluring as he imagined it would be, and slid his last shot to the guy next to him.
“Okay that’s enough!” Barbara laughed, and came around the table to take Gerard by the arm. “Winning both games? That was pretty impressive. I didn’t know you would turn out to be a pro.” She marveled as she led him back into the den. Several of the guests had become bored with watching the game and were now lazily passing a joint around on the oversized couch.
“Yep.” Gerard agreed, nodding his head in an exaggerated manner, “Yep. I can be pretty impressive sometimes. So much so, that I even impress myself on occasions.”
“Well you certainly impressed me.” Barbara purred, leaning into him and almost causing them both to fall over. She wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head on his shoulder as she began to sway back and forth to the music that was still playing.
“I’ve been trying to do that for a long time.” He muttered into her hair, winding his arms tightly around her.
“Dance with me.” She whispered.
Gerard picked his head up in an attempt to survey their surroundings. “No one else is dancing.” He slurred.
“I don’t care.” She exclaimed quietly and began rocking her hips back and forth more vigorously.
Gerard rested his forehead on hers and gazed into her blurry eyes. “But I don’t know how…”
Her mouth slowly lifted to hover just inches away from his. “Let me teach you.” She breathed.
This is it. Gerard realized foggily. This is really it. We’re about to kiss. All his dreams from the past four years were about to come true in this one blissfully hazy moment. He couldn’t believe it. It was too good to be true. He lowered his lips toward hers.
“WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN HERE?” A furious voice boomed from behind them.
Gerard clumsily whirled around to see Jim standing in the doorway of the duplex.
He looked pissed.
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