FicWad

Too weak to stand up.
Too confused to know why.
There's never enough blood.
It just doesn't flow right.
I'm always sore and wondering why.
I only do it 'til I'm about to pass out, why should I cry?
I just need to get over it, it's my own fault anyway.
They say how all these people are crushing on me. I just can't see it. But I guess that's just another sign.
I messed up. And big this time.
I made myself known. I let people see me. I got too close. I'm too destructive.
I'm used to being lied to and hurt. That's ok.
Used to being the girl who dated a guy everyone hates. Who no one remembers. That's fine.
You would think I would like the change...I want to go back. Where I can fuck up.
Maybe it's the guys. Is that it? I'm sorry. It's hurting. I'm no good. I don't belong here.
I should be in the background again.
Just another face.
Another student.
Another girl.
Nothing special.
Just kinda there.
I try too hard when I have friends. Too hard to be me.
'Cuz I don't know what I am. How do I act? I can't just be me.
No one knows me.
The girl who cares too much about everyone else to take care of herself feels selfish because of the air she breathes.
The girl who people think is beautiful tries to fade into the crowd.
Complicated. It used to not be. I'm just too confused to explain. Not much has changed, my head just hurts.
A lot is the same, I just notice the pain.
How much has really changed?