FicWad

The scenery around me begins to blur as I close my eyes,
I open them back up to see the same image, again and again,
I wonder just how I became this disgusting figure, despised,
But my words fall on deaf ears and we hold a funeral for a flame.

Burn the hearse before it takes me, my dear,
And burn my coffin, just take me away,
I hold back everything, including that last tear,
In the hope that you'll hear me say.

That I can't keep on this way, with the blurring petals falling,
And I can't keep on breathing, forcing this useless heart to keep beating,
I know what my options are, and that's why I'm stalling,
But I can't stop these closing credits scrolling, constantly repeating.

For all the fight that I've wasted on keeping myself alive,
And all those breaths I've wasted, all the energy I used,
Just to keep on smiling, laughing because you wanted me to survive,
But I've fallen, I'm too broken and hurt, afraid and abused.

Burn like the stars that still bear my name,
The permanent marker to scribble out my memories,
Let me forget the pain, the need and the blame,
Let me live with new freedom and ease.

Or hand me the gun, because I don't have any fight left,
I want to pretend, but I really can't go on like this,
Death by my own hand, such a twisted yet beautiful theft,
But, with blurred vision, I accept that I won't be missed.