FicWad

The rest of Saturday passed by without another word from either of the guys. I spent the rest of the day listening to music alone in my room and snacking on the left over ice cream from the freezer. My mom had called me from some place in New York wishing me a happy birthday. Only problem is, my birthday is only on Tuesday...it didn't bother me much though since her and I aren't close. What really bothered me was the fact that Bill and Iz weren't talking to me. It was now Sunday and still not a word from them. I was starting to even wonder if they were planning on coming over for my birthday.

I walk past my window in my room to get to my record player; still nothing from Iz's window. I sigh and figure I have nothing better to do than just sit around, maybe drink some Jack, and listen to some great tunes. I decide to put on some Led Zeppelin...and no not because I was thinking of Izzy...well maybe. Okay, I really missed them both, but I would never tell them that.

I start dancing around my room while the record spun like a ballerina. Led Zeppelin were mellow and I needed to be mellow. I sat on my bed and let the record play out fiercely. The slight summer wind from my open window caresses my cheek ever so lightly. For a moment I felt like I wasn't even there. At that moment, there was no such thing as rules, or hurt. At that moment I was free to be whoever I wanted to be.

A ring from my doorbell quickly made my dream vanish in a puff of airheaded smoke. I quickly jump off my bed and head downstairs to check it out. To my surprise, Iz was standing at my door.

"Oh...hi." I mumble while nervously scratching an ear.
You could hear 'The Rain Song' from my record player. I felt safe by the sound of the music, but uneasy because I didn't know what to think.

"Hey. Can I ughh...come in?"

I wanted to purposely be a bitch toward him, but I knew in my heart that I couldn't. He had on those washed out jeans with the rips again. For some reason my eyes searched the pants for that one particular rip by his pocket.

"Sure." I back up and allow him in.

"Where's Bill...I haven't seen him since yesterday." I quietly ask as I look to the ground.

"I dunno."

There was an awkward eerie silence as Izzy sat on the busted up couch. I look at my bare feet. For a second I felt like I should have been dressed up for the occasion, but then I reminded myself that he was just another person.

"Okay why are you here Izzy?"

"I wanted to say sorry for actin' like a dick."

"Is that all?"

"Pretty much." He looks at me from the couch.

I take a moment to look at him. I never realized how beautiful his eyes were before.

"Also I heard you playing some Led Zeppelin and figured hey...Led Zeppelin." He gives me a light smile.

"Alright well...it's up in my room if you want to come listen to it?"

Before I could finish my sentence Izzy was up and ready to go upstairs. I never realized how tall he truly was and well... how short I am. When we get upstairs my record already went through the first side. I go to turn it over so we could sit and listen. When I turn back to look at Iz, he was casually leaning back on my bed. He was leaning back on his elbows staring up at the ceiling.

"I noticed that you've been weirder lately." I laugh as I sit in a chair that was by my record player.

"Weirder? Was I weird before?" He chuckles.

"Of course you were. That's why we're friends." I give him a saucy smile.

"Yeah...friends..." Realizing he seemed a bit down I decide to ask him what his problem is.

"What's wrong? You haven't been talking to me much and I noticed that you haven't been writing to me anymore." I sort of whimper and feel my eyes swell up again.

"Just some shit is all..."

"Come on Iz you can tell me anything."

"I'm not supposed to say."

"Izzy. Come on. You know you're not allowed to leave until you tell me right?" I laugh and close my bedroom door and lock it.

He looks to the ground and crosses his legs. I was scared I was making him uncomfortable again, just like when we were up at the field.

"Do I make you uncomfortable?" I ask with regret in my voice.

He didn't seem to want to answer any more questions. He looked worried and troubled.

"Please Izzy just answer me." I get up and go sit by his slender body.

His eyes seemed to buzz open as he looked around the room as if he had never been
inside this room before. I was beginning to get frustrated and upset. There was no reason for him to be acting like such a little girl. I let out a sigh.

"Fine...I guess I'll go ask Bill then..."

I go to stand but I feel slightly chilly fingers grab my arm back. I take a glance toward my arm to see Izzy's hand wrapped tightly around it. He wouldn't look at me or anything.

"What?" I ask with frustration taking its toll on my voice.

"I can't let you go over there."

"Why the fuck not?" He was NOT going to tell me who I was going to see or not, and besides
Bill would tell me what was wrong with Izzy.

"Please sit down. I really need to tell you something..."

I sit back down, but he doesn't let go of my arm. I bit my lip lightly to shut myself up. My foot starts tapping nervously and for once since we first met, I was annoyed of him.

"First of all...at least look at me when you're talking to me. Second, what the fuck is wrong Izzy." I was going to snap at him...very soon.

"Well Bill and I have been planning for your birthday and all."

"Let me guess. You can't do anything special because of Bill's family right? I don't care anyways. If that's what has been keeping you guys aw--" Suddenly Izzy's finger was against my lips, halting the voice from my mouth.

"Let me finish...Bill has been acting weird lately." He lets his finger fall from my lips.

"I would have guessed you as being the weird one..." I roll my eyes and he glares at me with his deep chestnut eyes.

Izzy lets out a nervous sigh and starts biting his bottom lip. His body tensed up and he tightened his leg muscles.

"He wants to..." He sighs again.

"What Izzy? Fuck, spill it!" I raise my voice and shake him a little.

"He wants to take your virginity..." Izzy winces and closes his eyes tightly, most likely ashamed of what he had said.

"Wait...what?"

I couldn't understand what just came out of his mouth. What a filthy pig. How fucking rude and...and...and very sweet at the same time.

"What do you mean Izzy?!"

"That's what he wants to give you as a gift for your 13th birthday...He says he wants to make you a 'woman'...fuck I can't even believe I'm fucking saying this." Izzy shakes his head in distress.

How could one of my best friends of so many years want such a thing from me? Bill knew my life inside out and knew what I thought of drugs, sex, and everything at all. He knew what my mom was like and he knew every opinion I had. Why would he sneak around behind my back and tell Izzy this?! I thought Bill and I were friends! I thought we could trust each other! I thought there was nothing between us. For me there was no spark, no chemistry, no nothing. Did I lead him on in some manner? Did I give him the wrong impression? When I thought of my first time, it definitely wasn't with him! When I thought of my first time, it would be with someone I'm comfortable with. Someone I think deserves my love, and deserves every feeling I have in my body. Someone like...someone like...

"I know you probably don't want to talk to me about this anymore...but that's why I kept my distance...I didn't know how to approach the situation or even begin to tell you..." Someone like him.

"Izzy..."

"I understand if you want me to leave..." He says crossing his legs even tighter.

"No...please don't." I felt a spark in my chest and then a flutter.

I turn to see Izzy watching my every move. His dark brown hair was messy and it seemed like he had just woken up from a rough night. His eyes were shinning as if they held a secret deep within them. His lips were moist and slightly apart. His body was hunched over as if he were a scared child hiding from the monsters that he thought were behind him. And that's when I noticed...I did like Izzy...I liked everything about him. His personality, the way he presented himself, his loyalty to his friends and family, the fact that he was well-behaved and well-mannered, the fact that his friendship did so much for me. He slowed me down and kept me well tempered. His appearance, and how he was so kind and just so perfect. He glares into my eyes and I felt my cheeks blush rosy red.

"I don't want him to touch you. And I know it's none of my business...but I would rather you not be with someone like Bill..."

Was he saying what I think he was saying? Was he telling me that he thought he would be a better person for me? Or am I just over-analyzing and tricking myself into thinking that my best friend liked me?

"What do you mean?" I ask; my words shaky and rigid.

"I can't stop thinking about you...in a bad way." He turns away, most likely in embarrassment.

"What do you mean?" A smile forms across my lips.

"I can't put it into words..." He tightly closes his eyes and shakes his head.

"Show me?" I didn't mean to sound suggestive, but I do.

He turns to me and slightly cocks his head to the left. His lips tremble as if he's going to speak, but he doesn't. My hands start to shake. Was he going to...kiss me?