FicWad

His was the perfect life, watching himself through someone else’s eyes would be like watching a golden boys life story. His life had been smiled upon by all that glittered and was certainly gold. He had gone through his terrible spells, moments of self doubt and loneliness but overall his life had been charmed. He was alive and he had so many people to thank for that, most of all himself. He’d gotten himself to a point in his life when all that mattered was the now, all that mattered was what happened at the moment you were living. He was glad to have gotten there, long ago having been repressed into living for everyone else. He was free of it now. He was free. He’d never tasted that before.

He looked at his reflection in the mirror, smiling a little at how clear the blue of his eyes were. To his own mind he looked years younger than he had in such a long time and he felt that way too. He was getting older, there was no doubt of that but knowing that the best years of his life were ahead of him, he was glad to be progressing onward.

Pulling on his jacket he grabbed a hair tie and tied back the length of his hair before setting his hat on. He was ready. A few months off before the big tour, he was glad for it. Take all the rest you need, their manager had said and he had smiled willing to do just that.

Walking out of the bathroom he stopped and dragged himself back in. Sighing a little he opened the medicine cabinet and took out the orange bottle of pills. Tipping one into his hand he set it on his tongue, filling a glass near the sink with water and swallowed it down. He twisted the cap back on, put it away and then again looked in the mirror.

“You’re alright.” He said to his own reflection, a look of sudden doubting promise in his eyes. “You’re alright. He won’t be coming back”

He turned on his heel and left the bathroom. His phone vibrated in his pocket and he pulled it out. Baby, you almost ready? We’re all waiting downstairs! He smiled a little and tucked the phone back into his coat. He walked with the same smile on his face out the door before he turned around and looked inside his house.

There was nothing there, no one was there. Why would there be? He lived alone. He didn’t want him back again. Not him, not those tormenting months he had brought with him.

Heavily he sighed and tore himself out of the house, locking up as he did. The three locks and the padlock as well. Standing straight and tucking the ring of keys into his coat he headed out to the car waiting for him. He smiled at all of them, the sun breezing down sweetly on him. There was a small whispering wind, caressing along his skin.

Shannon got out of the car, bringing him into a quick embrace before letting him go. “Where we going?”

Jared shrugged and looked over at her, his smile widening. “Ask her, this was all her idea.”

Shannon looked over at her but she waved him off and got out of the car which sent Shannon back to his seat.

Jared had met Harlow nearly eight months ago, when his life had been so broken the shards shattered inside of him had been too impossible to find. She had suffered the lows with him, had stayed beside him through the darkest moments he had wallowed in. She hadn’t left him, never once intending to. She loved him, she had changed him and slowly they had fallen in love. Their love being the one sure thing that had helped to bring him back.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her lithe figure against him. Her smile was brilliant, glistening sweetly in the brown of her wide eyes. She had a smile that was solely for him, a smile that belonged to him, kisses that had been reserved and would always be his. Their love was solid, the kind that broke barriers and tore the other apart, mending each other the whole way.

“Hey sweet thing.” He said down to her, leaning forward and softly kissing her.

“I’m so excited for tonight. I hope you have a great time. It’s only dinner.” She whispered, lifting herself on her toes to kiss him again.

Shannon reached over, honking the horn to get their attention. “I have an early rise tomorrow, move it.” He jokingly called out, laughing as he did to the rest of Jared’s friends in the car.

Harlow pulled away from Jared with a small laugh and tugged him along into the car. He sat beside her in the back, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and bringing her closer against him. He rested his head back, listening to his brother and Jamie talk up front, feeling Harlow beside him and a smile graced his lips. He was happy. Everything was working out. And he was alive. Thank God, he was alive.

**
Dinner had gone as planned. Jared had enjoyed the company and everything had set the tone for the rest of the night. He had gone back with Harlow to her place, the rest of the guys taking a taxi home and now he was resting on her couch while she got them a couple of drinks. He felt safer here, nothing had happened here. It had become some sort of haven for him during those tumultuous months. He had found comfort in her arms, happiness in her words, love in the caress of her body. He had found her and that was all that needed to be said.

She came out of the kitchen, two drinks in her hands but something about her smile had waned. His brows knitted together lightly as he took the drink and she sat beside him.

“You alright?” He asked worriedly.

She contemplated her answer, whether to tell him the truth. He was in such a good place was she really supposed to dump this on him now? But if he found out later he would feel wounded that she hadn’t come to him.

Softly she sighed and turned to look at him. “Nothing…nothing I can’t handle.” She replied in a small whisper, resting her head on her hand as she turned to face him.

He eyed her before reaching out and gently tucking some of her hair behind her ear. “Tell me.” He insisted.

“I’ll make you a deal…I tell you if you tell me if you’re really alright.”

He held her eyes for a moment before sighing and looking away. “I’m fine. Haven’t we talked about this?”

She nodded and moved closer against him, resting her hand on his chest. She looked up at him from beneath her lashes. “And your medication?”

“Everyday.” He replied with a sincere nod.

“Good boy.” She said with a small laugh, kissing at the spot on his chest her hand was resting.

“Your turn.” He lowered his arm around her, bracing himself for- for what? Why was he always so on edge? Always tiptoeing the precipice?

“I have to show you something…” She whispered as she slipped off of him and disappeared into her bedroom for a moment. She came back a short while later, a small envelope in her hands. She looked to him hesitantly before sitting down. “Here.”

He took the envelope from her and as he opened it he looked up at her. “What is it?” He didn’t wait for her answer, he just opened it up and took out its contents.

It was a single paper. Breaking hearts is easy, I can tear out your life with the cut of my knife. Whisper me to sleep, my love and the two of us will dream. Dream in the blood of each other. His hands started to shake as he read it. Letting the paper slip from his hands he looked up at her.

“Who sent this?!” He shouted out, looking down at the fallen piece of paper. “Is this some kind of joke?”

She shook her head rapidly and went to him. But he had slipped into his panic, his head lowered to his hands and he rocked back and forth. Tears sprang to his eyes and he kept shaking his head.

It couldn’t be him. He couldn’t be here again. It’d been months, so many months of freedom. Why would he be back?