Categories > Original > Drama

What Did I Do?

by IRemainUnknown 2 reviews

FuckFuckFuck WhatTheFuckDidIJustDo?

Category: Drama - Rating: G - Genres:  - Published: 2013-06-08 - 623 words


I don't know; a Jalex kind of night I guess

"Did I seriously just do that?!" Alex screamed, staring down at his phone; breath hitching in his throat, coming in gasps.

"'Lex, you need to calm down. What did you send?" Rian walked over to where the singer sat totally freaking out.

"I was being a cunt; writing while pissed and sad and dear god he's going to hate himself and feel horrible and it'll be all my fault and I won't have any excuse on why I did it, dear god I'm no better than him. He hurt me and I probably did the exact same and I'm such a bad person, fuck why did I do that fuck fuck fucking fuckity fuck!" Alex ranted, not breathing as he went on and on, mind going against him.

"Alex calm the fuck down! If you don't, you're going to have an anxiety attack and we don't need that." Rian gently shook his friends shoulders; as tears fell from his pained, regret filled brown eyes.

"Bu-bu-but I fucked up!" He shook, sobs wracking his thin frame, as he curled into a ball; feeling absolutley miserable. Worse than before he sent it.

"You guys know what's up with Jack? He seems so...bummed out over something?" Zack asked, walking in at the absolute worst time, causing Alex to sob harder.

"Fuck Merrick! Not the fucking time!" Rian growled, as he went back to trying his hardest to help the singer calm himself down.

"Alex please?"

"No, I brought him down with me! I do that with fucking everybody, oh dear god. I shouldn't be here. If I wasn't, we would have never gotten together and never broke up and I wouldnt have brought him down and he wouldn't be sad and I wouldn't be here having a fucking anxiety attack. Fucking anxiety why do I have to deal with this?! Why can't it be someone who has mental strength, someone who hasn't already went fucking insane. Damn anxiety, fuck you. I don't fucking god, why can't I calm down, why am I shaking? Why the fuck can I barely breathe? Why the fuck am I freaking out? Why am I still fucking crying?! It's been like 2 or 3 days and I'm still bawling my eyes out what the actual hell god fuck shit, Rian help!" Alex was flailing in his small bunk, tears soaking his face as his mind, and mouth was going miles a minute.

"Alex, calm down." Rian mumbled, having no idea on how to help.

"Dude, I thought you've done this before!" Zack mumbled, watching the pink haired boy freak out.

"No, Jack usually calmed him down; and now we obviously don't have that option." Rian growled, shooting Zack a "shut up you're making things worse" look.

"You don't have that option because it's my fault, me being a whiney bitch, the one who fucked everything up. The one who wrecked the relationship, the one who hurt the best person that I've ever met. I love him and I still do no matter what and he probably thinks I hate him and want him to be in pain and I feel terrible. Oh my god." Alex sobbed, not giving a shit about controlling his emotions.

"Well, if you want I could stay here with you." Rian offered, watching as Alex shook his head.

"Thanks but no thanks; I kind of want to try for sleep, before I do something irrational." Alex mumbled, sliding down and clutching his pillow to his chest.

"Alright, call if you need anything." The drummer slid out of his friends bunk, making his way to the front lounge; leaving Alex to his thoughts.

I should've never sent it
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