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When i got home i felt a mixture of emotions swirling around inside of me. I felt happy, sad, confused, alone, smothered, anything and everything. I felt it.
I lay on my bed thinking, realising how grateful i was to have Patrick in my life, when the doorbell rang. I was about to shout to my mum to get it when i realised that she had gone out with friends.
In my state of mind, i didnt feel fit to be alive never mind get up and answer the door, so i just lay on my bed refusing to move.
After a few minutes the knocming stopped and i relaxed, when all of a sudden Pete came flying through my open bedroom window. I shot up, at first scared of whatever it could be.
Pete stood up and i noticed the skinny jeans cartoon hoodie and eventually the eye liner, and instantly recognised him.
'WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING?' I yelled, more surprised than anything else.
'You didnt answer the door.' Pete said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
'Well you should have left, maybe i wasnt in!' I argued. 'But you are, and if i hadnt come through the window i would never have known.' Pete explained simply as he perched himself comfortably on the end of my bed.
'Okay okay. But whats so important that you have to climb through my window for?' I asked, sitting down beside him.
Pete shrugged 'Nothing. I just wanted to see you.' Dear god...
'Pete. You're crazy.' I said, staring at him like he was an escapee from a mental asylum. Maybe he was?
'I know. But you love it!' He said, turning to grin at me during the last sentence.
I nodded enthusiastically 'Oh yes!'
'Ally...have you thought any more?' Pete said, suddenly becoming serious. I winced at his sudden change in tone.
'Yeah, Pete look. I honestly dont know. I really liked you but after...well you know what...After that its not been the same.' I explained, trying my hardest to avoid eye contact.
'So my body was all you wanted?' Pete asked jokily. I looked up to see that serious Pete was long gone. 'Uh, yeah something like that.' I mumbled.
Pete tensed his arm muscles and did a few silly poses and i found myself laughing, despite my dillema.
I decided to forget it. Concentrate on something other than love for once. It will happen when it happens, i told myself.
Pete and i messed around for a while more, playing xbox ( me whooping his ass) watching telly and telling cheesey jokes.
Around midnight we were sat on my sofa watching a horror, and Pete was attempting to take the piss out of me. I'd decided to attack him and call it self defense, so i had been hitting his arm and head until it became a tickle war.
We were rolling around, laughing like children, insulting each other as we did so. 'You sit like a dude!' Pete yelled in my ear.
'You can cross your legs! You cant be a dude!' I laughed. Pete managed to grab both of my arms and pin me down. 'I AM a guy!' He said triumphantly.
'You wish!' I said childishly, sticking my tongue out. 'Oh! You want me to prove it?' Pete joked. He let my hands go and moved them towards his belt.
'Ew no!' I yelled, still laughing. Pete leaned forward and whispered in my ear 'But you already know im a guy.'
He leaned back a little and gave me a devishly handsome, cheeky grin. I felt my face freeze in shock, he was beggining to remind me of why i started to like him in the first place.
He leaned forward a little more and for a minute i thought that he was going to kiss me. And in the position we were in i wouldnt have been able to stop him, even if i wanted to.
'I had better go.' Pete said quickly, hopping off me and dashing out of my front door without so much as a goodbye.
I sat there confused for a while, scratching my head. That boy's so odd. No matter how much i might want it to, it would never work between us.
I was cleaning my teeth when i began to think about who i really liked. It was the first time since arriving, excluding the mishap with Pete, that i had properly thought about who i fancied.
I tried my hardest to imagine myself with every boy that i could stand to be around, but the only image that kept flashing in my mind was a certain blonde haired, blue eyed, angel. Patrick.
I jumped into bed and lay staring at the cieling, wondering how i hadnt realised it earlier. I was actually falling for Patrick...
I fell asleep with the image of him in my mind.

I awoke with the image of him in my mind. His blue eyes had been staring at me in my dreams all night long, and i found myself looking forward to seeing them again in reality.
I danced around the house getting ready in a daze. My possible feelings for Patrick were sending me skywards, my head was in the clouds and i liked it.
Walking to school i played happy songs and bobbed my head along to the almost chirpy tunes.
When i arrived at school i soon spotted Joe attempting to flirt with a group of cute looking girls. I made my way over to him and tapped him lightly on the shoulder.
'Hey Joe! You seen Patrick?' I asked, smiling like an idiot.
Joe seemed taken aback by my overwhelming happiness but replied with 'Uh-yeah. I think he's in the library.' I nodded and nearly skipped away.
Walking into the library i was hit with the stench of old, worn books, but that didnt change my mood in the slightest.
Determined, i turned a corner in the library to see Patrick walking towards me. It seemed like he was walking in slow-motion. I gazed into his intense blue eyes, the ones that i had dreamed of all night, and felt my heart melt.
'Ally! Hey!' Patrick waved to me when he noticed me stood there. I waved back, feeling like a fool with my sudden inability to speak.
'I was wondering, do you wanna hang out this weekend?' Patrick asked. The normality in his voice seemed to bring me back to my senses a little. 'Yeah sure! Sounds good!' I replied.
'You seem happy this morning!' Patrick smiled. I nodded, grinning hugely. 'Just feeling good!'
'Well im glad. You're even more beautiful when you smile.' Patrick said as he looked up and into my eyes.
I felt like my stomach had been filled with caterpillar cocoons and they had finally hatched. Why did Patrick suddenly have this effect on me? Or was it always there and i just hadnt noticed?
'Want me to walk you to class?' Patrick was looking at me expectantly, as if he'd said it a few times before, maybe he had...
'Yes please! you need to tell me how band practise is going...' I said as we left the library.

At lunch i was sat with Emma and Ginny when i felt my phone begin to vibrate in my pocket. I pulled it out and checked my messages. The first was from Pete 'Skip class and come marry me?' I shook my head and replied 'Marry Andy.'
The second was from my Mum. What was she texting me for? She was always so busy with work and her social life it was like she had forgotton that i even existed.
'Call me' it said. Charming.
Nevertheless, i excused myself from the table and went to find a quiet spot where i called her.
'Hey mum.' I said emotionlessly when she answered. 'Ally. I have some bad news im afraid.' She said in a busineslike manner, the one that she uses at work.
'Okay... What is it?' I asked, not particularly interested. Its not usually anything important, like an old friend is getting divorced or a tree is being cut down.
'Ally. I'm afraid your grandmother has taken a turn for the worse. They dont think she'll make it this time. They give her half a year.' My mum said, still emotionless and proffesional.
The news took me by surprise, i thought that she was better! I didnt want my grandmother to be ill, unlike my mother she cared.
'No! That cant be true!' I protested almost angrily. I imagined my mum was shaking her head.
'Im afraid that it is. We have to go back Ally.' She said certainly.
'What!? No! I like it here!' I yelled. I loved this place and the friends i'd made, i wasnt ready to leave.
'Do you want your grandmother to die alone?' My mum snapped coldly. I felt guilt flood me. 'No.' I said flatly, knowing i needed to go.
'Good. We leave Saturday night.' She said, then she hung up, leaving me stood with my jaw wide open. So SOON!
I walked back to the hall like i was a prisoner in midieval times going to be hanged. 'Are you okay?' Emma asked in her cheery voice, her ponytail bobbing as she spoke.
I nodded and began to eat my food almost in a trance. I noticed that Emma and Ginny were staring at me curiously but chose to ignore it.
When i finished my food i stood up and walked wordlessly away. I wasnt in the mood for their cheery chatter.

The rest of the days lessons went by in a blur, all that was on my mind was my grandmother and how much i wanted to be with her, yet how much i didnt want to go.
No matter how much i argued with myself i knew it wouldnt change a thing. I was going and that was that. But how would i tell the guys?
They'd been doing so well with their band and it was making them so happy. They were starting to become really popular and even had their own fans.
Not only that, but they were all great guys. I loved them all and i didnt want to leave them behind. I wouldnt be able to visit because my grandma lives so far away. It felt like the end of the world.
Leaving school i had the weight of the world on my shoulders, i let Patrick and Joe talk to each other happily as i dragged myself along silently.
'Are you okay?' Patrick asked me, looking at me with concern in his big blue eyes. I nodded.'Yeah, just tired.'
Patrick nodded though he didnt seem to believe me, but he let it go. He could obviously tell that i was in my own world.
I listened to their conversation for the rest of the walk, chiming in at moments. They were talking about their show on Saturday night.
It was their biggest yet, and they had some fall out boy fans attending. They were also going to play some new songs and Patrick and Joe both seemed really excited.
'You coming?' Joe asked, smiling. I wished that i could say yes. I really did.
'Uh, i'll try.' I replied, unable to lie but unable to say no.
'I hope you can! This'll be our best gig yet!' He exclaimed excitedly. I was so happy for them, they were doing so well! My boys. Who i was going to leave behind.
'See you.' I said, waving. Patrick and Joe waved with huge smiles then continued to walk to their homes. I stood and watched for a minute, catching wisps of their animated coversation, still on the topic of their concert.
I felt almost like a ghost, i had been a part of their lives for such a short amount of time and already i was leaving. Soon i would be no more than a memory to those boys.
I sighed and began my walk home alone. Alone. Thats what i was going to be when i left. Alone.